Fade To Grey
by Asgardian Angel
Summary: Ana and Christian are equally tortured souls both with horrific pasts. Free from an abusive relationship, Ana/Rose a talented singer and artist, shares her thoughts on love,sex & pain in her blog. After a rough start, they follow the road towards a relationship, each evolving in a way they never thought possible. How will they cope when their pasts come back to tear them apart? AU
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is a completely new fandom for me and I really hope I do it justice. I intend to post this to my blog (with lots of pics) too and I shall put the address on my Bio when it eventually goes up.

WARNING: Ana has a torrid backstory not unlike Christian and is not really like the books, except for the fact she's magnetically attracted to Christian even though he's got serious issues. She's a confused soul and sometimes can sink into darkness. There will be fluff, kink, language, imagined suicide, torture and descriptions of non-con situations from her past. Very mature content from the beginning. Please be aware of this before any flames or wrath.

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Chapter 1 - Dante's

The thump of her heart beating out of chest almost matched the vibrating bass of the club above her as she descended the private staircase into Dante's; Seattle's exclusive BDSM club to which she had just become a member.

_With a fee of $1,000 to join at this place better be worth it! _Ana mumbled to herself as she held her keycard up before the heavyset security could stop her. When she'd applied, all she had seen was a few pictures from their internet site, but when she'd asked around, _discreetly of course_, she knew it was the place to go if she was going to get what she needed.

The brushed chrome double doors swung open as the entry light went from red to green, where she was greeted by a two hostesses wearing thongs and nipple tassles. One took Ana's coat, whilst the other, wearing a seductive smile admired Ana's outfit.

Ana was not dressed considerably more sexy than she would on a normal day except in this case, her dress was leather. She'd aimed for sexy goth. Her shoes were sky high black 'fuck me' heels of the most decadent kind, the ankle straps reminiscent of leather bondage cuffs with a silver padlock. They were the most expensive shoes Ana had ever bought, but they were sexy and hell with a lot of naughty thrown in. Complementing the shoes were black silk seamed stockings that led up to her favourite set of Agent Provocateur lingerie. She knew that the stockings hinted at suspenders (garter belt) that would only be seen if she sat down or bent down. Anyone worth their kink knew that suspenders would be teamed with damn sexy panties and they wouldn't be wrong here. Not that any of them would see what was under her dress. That's not what she was here for.

"I love your look." The hostess purred to Ana as her eyes roamed Ana's curves.

"Thank you." Ana replied shyly as her inner goddess high-fived her subconscious. She was trying very hard to keep her eyes up rather than keep drifting down to admire the impressive breasts right before her.

It was no secret to those close to her that Ana preferred women. Her one and only 'relationship' with a man was one that she'd never want to repeat. She never talked to anyone about what happened to her and as far as she was concerned, that whole event in her life would remain deeply buried. Her past history was a mystery to those around her, even to those select few that were close to her.

It was a very rare occurrence that a man would catch her eye and when they did, they showed her exactly why she preferred women. Women were soft, they were emotive, tactile and nurturing. They weren't threatening, possessive, intimidating ego-maniacs. She felt safe with them and gave her body over to them to pleasure and returned it without fear of losing her will. Every woman she'd been with had fulfilled her needs with cries of ecstasy and with laughter. Only one of these women had been allowed further into Ana's affections and that was Kate. They were friends first and foremost, but when the need arose, shared the benefits of an intimacy that Ana could only dream of with a man. Kate knew how much Ana loved to laugh but also how she had hidden demons that needed to be soothed with feminine comfort. Ana's dream of 'hearts and flowers', was one that she never envisaged coming true but that didn't stop her dreaming. The dream was ideal and it was safe. She'd never trust a man enough to come close enough to date her, let alone get under her skin. If it wasn't for Kate, she might as well become a nun.

The hostess was wearing an old-fashioned refreshment tray tied with crimson ribbons around her neck, halter style. On the tray were a selection of masks should you wish to be incognito, along with different coloured leather cuffs. She'd read in her R&R's in her membership pack, that the different colours signified what your preferences were. White for voyeur or beginner, pink for sub, black for Dom. Tying the white cuff on her wrist and choosing a beautiful crystal covered alabaster mask at the back of her head, she smiled at the hostess before she descended further into the depths of Dante's.

The lights were dimmed, enhancing the atmosphere of mystery and anticipation. Vocalless trance music played in the background; it wasn't a place to dance, but the beat of the music easily mimicked the beat of a heart or a rhythmic penetration. It was definitely music to fuck by.

The main lounge was already filled with other members, drinking and chatting, some petting in anticipation of taking things further, maybe into a playroom she assumed. They lounged on black velvet chaises or leather loveseats, the odd solitary figure perched on a bar stool at the randomly scattered cocktail tables that provided an excellent position to 'people watch'. That's what Ana's intention was; to watch. In a place like this she was a voyeur.

She wasn't the least bit shocked by what she saw, as she witnessed sub's led by collars or leashes through the dimly lit room. She'd seen that and far worse in her small amount of years for anything to be a shock, but that didn't mean she was desensitised. The atmosphere was so sexually charged that she challenged the most righteous to not get turned on. Although she was nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs at the prospect of being propositioned, she felt confident that this place would be safe enough. Her cuff should be indication to any member what she preferred, but she could feel eyes all over her, the prospect of tormenting her broadcasting loudly in their minds.

Moving away from the lounge, she entered the first room, separated from the lounge with just a glass door. This was a voyeur's paradise 'the exhibitionists' and 'swingers' writhed and moaned with luscious abandonment as their inhibitions at being watched or shared were shattered. Gasps and moans echoed in the small audience that admired those partaking in other partners flesh, or as their eyes caught those who sought acknowledgement of their brazen behaviour. The atmosphere in the room was intoxicating in a raw sexual way; couples openly caressed each other as they watched, turned on at being privy to the intimate acts of others. Live porn, but without the fake moans, dodgy boob jobs and permaboners.

Ana could feel her slick arousal soaking the tiny gusset of her thong already. Her clit throbbed and tingled as she rubbed her thighs together as she clenched her pelvic muscles. She stood transfixed as she watched a hetero couple fucking like animals, rough and hard and fast. They were sweaty and panting; but completely focussed on the audience. She got this. She got why this was a turn on, for them it was a simple thrill bordering on narcissism. The guy, a Dom she noticed, held his partners hair and so her head was pulled up, her eyes level with the audience and mouth parted as her cries absorbed into the crowd, washing over them in vocal ecstasy. The Dom caught as many eyes as he could focus on, revelling in the connection as his pleasure was shared. He caught her eye, but Ana couldn't look at his intense gaze. His eyes were wild and dark, reminding far too much of another whose eyes were the windows of his dark, dark soul.

Shaking off the creeps that this guy gave her, and subsequently quashing her desire, Ana slipped back through the group and out of the door.

The next room was like a blast from the past, except the woman bound intricately was obviously enjoying herself and a willing participant. The dark room was oppressive and hard; black painted walls held racks of 'toys' and tracks that allowed chains to be moved wherever needed. Red leather benches at varying heights scattered the room and Ana shuddered at the memories they invoked.

In this particular 'scene', the woman, a petite blonde with small pert breasts was being flogged between her legs and on her breasts as she was cuffed to the cross. Her nipples were a deep red where fierce clamps were forcing the blood to the surface. Ana knew all too well how agonizing the pinch of clamps felt and the rush of sensation that followed when they were removed. The sub here held no such tortured pain in her voice as Ana remembered though. When the clamps were removed the Dom sucked on her nipples languidly and the sub spasmed in ecstasy, the evidence of much she enjoyed it running down her legs.

This is what forced her to come here; knowing that there were people here that enjoyed this lifestyle and chose to enjoy it's painful offerings willingly. She wanted to understand them, why they needed this over a regular relationship. Hope that somehow comprehension would click into place; give her a reason why her experience in this lifestyle turned out the way it did. Hope that understanding all this would chase her nightmares away.

She needed a drink. How much more of this could she take? It had really turned her on to start off with, all the mystery and darkness, the temptation of the unknown. Watching strangers in the dark...was she fucked up? Probably. Absolutely.

Slipping out of the room she made her way back to the bar and sat at a vacant barstool with a heavy sigh and scrunched her eyes shut for a moment. She let her eyes open slowly, suddenly aware that she was being watched from the other end of the bar by a solitary figure. Her eyes flicked down to his wrist. Black cuff.

A black cuff equalled a Dom. She definitely wasn't returning the interest there. She'd suffered more domination in her lifetime that anyone should have to endure, so making eye contact with this stranger was a big no-no. Steeling her resolve, she sat up taller and caught the eye of the bartender.

"A Hemingway please." She swiped her card over the clever touchless payment system. For some reason, she felt the need to drink the strong stuff...the stuff that _he_ had made her drink. But it was good for taking the edge off, blurring the edges and making the difficult things easy. The bartender frowned at her.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what that is…" He was double checking the bottles lined up behind him, thinking that her request came ready bottled. Idiot. Who trains these bartenders?

Before she could explain her drink, the man she'd purposely tried to avoid looking at piped up, getting the bartenders attention. He hurried off, as Ana stood there dumbstruck at being abandoned in the middle of her order and pissed off at how rude 'the stranger' was for butting in. She didn't have time to protest before she heard the deep commanding tones of her antagonist.

"1 shot of Absinthe Original topped on a glass of chilled Bollinger, rose petal optional." Ana quirked her brow at the knowledgable stranger, surprised that anyone other than an Absinthe aficionado or Czech national knew how to make that drink. Absinthe had been shamefully stigmatised by the binge-drinking crowd who believe in the green fairy tales of the drink having hallucinogenic properties. Drunk in excess, probably, but savoured and admired for it's cornucopia of ingredients it was delicious and comforting.

She watched in surprise as the bartender silently obeyed and began fixing her drink, topping it with a rose petal from one of the elaborate floral displays on the bar, before placing it front of the stranger. With grace and lithe limbs he slid from his stool, sweeping her drink away in his long fingers and stalked towards her.

So much for not interacting with the predators.

His gaze was both alluring and intimidating, sparkling grey/blue irises came nearer and nearer, until he was right up in her personal space, causing her to shrink back on her barstool a little.

A strong but well-manicured hand proffered her drink. "Your Hemingway Miss."

She was dumbstruck again as she looked at the face that accompanied those fine long fingers, pianists fingers she mused. Handsome didn't describe him, he was more than that. Bronze mussed hair that looked like an expensive haircut just got out of bed, aquiline nose and soft looking rosy lips were framed by a strong chiselled jaw and cheekbones. His good looks mixed with his air of charm and the power that just oozed from him, made Ana tremble with both fear and desire.

Never ever had she been so affected by a man in her life, _never_. Not affected in a primal attraction sort of way anyway. She flushed and held out a trembling hand to take her drink. Noticing her tremble, he pulled her fingers away before she could take the drink, possibly averting her from spilling it over them, and gently held her fingers between his.

"Allow me." He glanced from the drink to her eyes, visualising his intent and gently placed the tip of the flute against her bottom lip. Warring with the feeling that she should throw the drink in his face for being so presumptuous at the same time as enjoying the kindness and intimacy of the moment with a complete (and gorgeous) stranger, she remained still, lost in contemplation.

"Open." His tone was firm, but the word seemed sensual on his smiling lips, like it had multiple meanings. Was that an order, or a request? Her inner goddess pushed her subconscious out the door, slammed and locked it before she lay back, legs akimbo... _the dirty slut_.

She looked down slightly at the glass, the bubbles of the milky concoction tickling her nose as they erupted. She always imagined little green fairies bursting out of these bubbles when she'd had a few. Maybe there was something in the tales of this naughty green spirit she'd come to love from the country that brought her so much pain. Looking up through her lashes at the bold stranger, she decided to live a little and indulge him (and the little green fairy). He seemed to be enjoying the tease and her unease at his proximity, but seemed superficially harmless. He didn't look too threatening for a Dom. What could it hurt?

Opening her mouth slightly, she let her tongue caress the rim of the glass as it captured the fairies, all the while keeping eye contact. His own tongue darted out to wet his lips as he took in a deep breath, obviously affected by her action. He tipped the flute to allow the effervescent nectar to wash over her tongue before she pulled back and licked her own lips to remove any trace of the fruity aniseed residue.

Not forgetting her manners, but forgetting her reluctance to 'engage' she gave him a coy smile which earned her a very sexy smile in return.

"Thank you...for the drink." She took the stem in her fingers, relinquishing him from his duty and gestured to the stool next to her as a token to her waning indifference.

He seemed reluctant to let go of her hand, but finally did as he inclined his head in thanks as he positioned his long athletic limbs on the edge of the stool. Leaning one elbow against the bar he traced the rim of his tumbler he'd set down earlier, all the while seeming to catalogue her body. The tension in the air was palpable as they silently and shamelessly inventoried each other, eyes roaming from head toe in a visual caress.

His navy suit was expensive. _Very expensive_. Due to her 'experience', it was obvious from the cut and style that he was a man of significant wealth; she'd seen suits like that before and they were always from a tailor. She couldn't see his shoes without obviously glancing down lower, but she imagined they were Italian leather and cost a small fortune. He probably owned dozens of pairs. The button of his jacket was open to reveal an indigo blue shirt, the top button undone and giving her a tempting view of his suprasternal notch and those strong tendons that framed his adams apple. She could see the muscles of his neck move as he swallowed and she bit her lip at the thought of how enticing his neck would look as a bead of perspiration rolled down it. Those muscles tensed and and she looked up quickly to those mesmerising eyes, now a stormy grey.

"Don't bite your lip like that." His voice sounded raw and needy. He looked turned on but cross at the same time. _What the hell? It's my lip and I'll bite it if I want to!_

"Why not?" He let out a growl like huff, as if annoyed with her questioning him. She was willing to go along with this, even though it was starting to piss her off just a little bit. She knew he was a Dom, but she was _not _his sub and she could do whatever the _fuck_ she wanted.

She straightened her back in defiance as she waited for his explanation, her eyes fixed on his in determination. She might be enjoying a little bit of human interaction, but that didn't mean that she couldn't behave how she wanted to. He was a stranger for fucks sake!

He leaned closer to her, pinning her with his equally fiery gaze. "Because I want to do it. I want to bite it, suck it, lick it and…" he paused as he reached toward her and pulled her lip free. "Kiss it."

Ana's breath caught in her throat as she froze in place. Her subconscious was running around holding up a neon 'Danger' sign like a magician's assistant, whilst her inner goddess whipped out the lipgloss and breath mints. _Hussy_.

'Dom' stared at her like he was looking into her very soul; like he was reaching in stoking up something that had only appeared for her female lovers. Desire.

_Fuck...what to say in reply? Anything….nothing? _

The hard shell that Ana had made for herself, to protect herself from this kind of interaction, melted like chocolate and she couldn't help herself. He both attracted her and frightened her.

He still made no move; he just stared at her like those people do who are trying to force an answer out of someone. Like in an interrogation. Say nothing and sooner or later, the other person will be desperate to fill the silence. She was terrified of saying something that made her sound weak and no sooner as she had the thought, she look down at her lap, embarrassed at her lack of response. She wanted to be strong, impervious to all this submissive shit and yet here she was, right in the lions den of depravity with an alpha and not able to meet his eye. She was a mess.

When she didn't answer or look up for so long, those nimble fingers lifted her chin for her. What she saw was surprising. Instead of a hungry predators gaze, she saw a smug smile. He seemed pleased at her reaction. She felt her cheeks hot with shame for being so affected by just a simple comment...a sexy one, but still just words.

Her mouth had gone dry. Glancing at her drink, she took a good swig and let the liquid courage slither down her throat. She could do this, she was strong. He was only a man after all.

"I'm sorry to disappoint, but that won't be happening." It was a both a rebuke and an invitation to challenge her.

"Are you _with someone_?" His question was vague, but she knew exactly what he meant. Was she in the market for a Dom? Surely he knew that from the colour band she wore that she wasn't. Perhaps that was it? The lure of the white, innocent, uninitiated. Boy, did he have it wrong there.

"NO!" She protested loudly to her own thought surprising herself, him and the bartender before repeating herself more quietly.

"No. I'm...just me." She meant that as a statement of independence. She wasn't part of pair - Dom and sub. To her that meant one entity; the Dom swallowed you whole, took you over and lived inside you like a host. Controlling your actions, emotions and every thought you dared to have.

She was just her now; strong but brittle, beautiful but flawed, desired but unloved.

He licked his lips and took another swig of his own drink before turning back to her. "Just me sounds lonely…"

Ana thought for a moment. Was she lonely? That wasn't why she was here; she was here to get answers not a 'Master'. As much as this stranger was alluring, it was intention to draw her into his domain and she didn't want that. This wasn't the place you picked up random strangers for a drink or a date; you picked a Dom or a sub and you tested their desires and their limits, right here and now.

She needed to get out of here. This was a mistake.

"I like lonely, it's safe." She put on a brave face and looked him straight in the eye. "I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I'm...looking for_ someone. _I'm not."

His eyes narrowed slightly. For a brief moment he looked both thoughtful and disappointed at the same time. He took her hand again and kissed her knuckles gently.

"I apologize for my forwardness. I hope you find _what_ you're looking for." He inclined his head and rose from his seat fluidly and disappeared into the shadows.

Ana let out a breath she didn't realise she'd been holding since he took hold of her hand. Her hand was shaking again and had to grip it with her other. A nervous tell from a time when her fingers were used as a weapon against her. This stranger had kissed her fingers and it had nothing to do with fear this time. This time she felt the tenderness behind the gesture. She looked down at her hands. She hated them. Her long, slim fingers were littered with scars from multiple surgeries. Surgeries to straighten and mend the torture inflicted on her hands every time she displeased her Master.

Icy shivers ran down her spine at the thought and decided it was time to go. Any trace of pleasure she'd felt at the interaction before was gone and she suddenly needed her solitude. She looked around once before she left, wondering if this was the biggest mistake or the biggest wake up call.

It was both. She couldn't keep turning up at places like this and hope to get the answers she wanted without painful memories being dredged up. The possibility of getting drawn into a toxic pairing was too high. It was a close call tonight-she'd thought about the possibility with this stranger for just a split second.

A split second is all it takes to change your life. She found that out the hard way.

Christian watched the brunette leave with great difficulty. He wanted to follow her, possibly seduce her into an arrangement with him but at the same time, he could see the fragility and fear in her eyes. She seemed to know the scene, but at the same time he sensed she had not enjoyed it.

Why had she come here? What was she into? Dante's wasn't as depraved as some places he'd been, but still, it indulged in all but the most extreme sexual desires. BDSM was just a baseline here; other more select tastes were catered for in private rooms.

She'd worn a white band, not a sub then. But there was definitely something submissive about her. The way she corrected her posture, the looking at her lap and the lip biting. _Fuck_, the lip biting! She had such a juicy bottom lip, he had itched to suck it and bite it. He couldn't help himself from saying that out loud. Never one for openly approaching women, he had been a little out of his element, but this heavenly creature was just too delicious to pass over.

Walking into the bar, he'd noticed her straight away. She was stunning; exactly his type with rich glossy hair, pale skin and natural beauty. The dress she wore was as classy as it was sexy. It showed just the right amount of flesh and teased the imagination. The bondage style shoes gave him a wicked fantasy as he imagined where those stocking seams ended. It made his cock ache. But there was also something very vulnerable and soft in her appearance that made the protector in him want to shield her from this place. She looked like she both belonged and stood out and that made him take even more notice.

He'd followed her discreetly as she moved her way through the rooms. She'd left Miguel and Antonia to their scene, obviously not turned on by their exhibitionism but stayed some time in the dungeon where Alex and Amber indulged in a little trad BDSM. The scene was tame for them and for him too.

He enjoyed producing pleasure a little more than pain, but that it was the control that fueled him. What fueled most Dom's. Everybody there understood and enjoyed this exchange but not this woman. She had looked confused and possibly a little disgusted as he observed her from his place in the shadows. It was as if she were trying hard to solve a puzzle and just didn't get it. The dilemma was obvious to him; she was turned on and appalled at the same time. He wanted to help her solve her dilemma, her puzzle. He wanted to know her.

Intrigued by her choice of drink, and then her reaction to him offering to feed her said drink, he was fueled by a desire so intense that he just had to ask if she was free. This time though, a vulnerability not unlike his own caused him to back off. His keen observation skills and knack for judging situations by intelligence and his gut, told him that this girl was damaged. Kissing her hand, he'd noticed the micro-scars on each one of her knuckles. Her fingers were long like his, but she moved them stiffly. He'd noticed that when she'd held her drink on her own. He'd caught a glimpse of what he thought was a tattoo around her wrist too, when her wrist flexed as he held it, the large silver cuff she'd worn on the opposite arm to the white cuff, rose up to reveal a brand. Was it on the other wrist too?

He knew that vulnerable look; he'd seen it in his own eyes, so he reluctantly let her go.

He wished he knew her name. He needed it, because when it came time to sleep he needed a name for his dreams.

"Damon?" He called over the bartender...who obviously needed more training in mixing drinks.

He looked up from where he was chipping ice. "Yes Mr Grey?" His eyes nervous in anticipation.

"What was the name of the member you made the Hemingway for?" Personal information like that was only available to staff and owners; good job he owned the place...well, co-owned anyway.

Damon turned to the touch screen and tapped on it's glass surface, skimming back through his register of sales. Each guest swiped their card when they came in and then again at the bar when they bought a drink. That way nobody had to find places to keep cash or cards in their not so practical outfits. Handy then that this woman had scanned hers before she accepted the drink from him.

"Anastasia Steele, sir. Membership number 0016." Christian nodded in acknowledgement as he tapped away on his phone. He could access the club's records from there and know her details instantly.

It was good to be the boss.

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Thanks for reading. Your comments, reviews or even just follows are most gratefully received.

Note: The music I imagine that was playing at Dante's is an old dance tune from the 90's that was played in the club scene of the movie 'Basic Instinct'. It's 'Blue' by LaTour and I will shamelessly admit to having very naughty sex to this whilst not quite in my right mind (say no more). It's a sexy scene in the movie, but I remember it most for my own experience.


	2. Chapter 2

Fade to Grey - Chapter 2

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A/N: Thanks so very much for the comments and follows to the last chapter. I must admit to being very nervous about following in Ms James footsteps. I've now set up my blog under the same pen name and hope that somewhere on there you can see the first chapter with pictures. I have to admit that I struggle with setting up the menu's to list the stories/chapters, so I apologise in advance if it's a pain to navigate – do let know if you have trouble. I intend to post pics of locations, outfits and the odd song (if I can work out how to do that ;-)

Some of you are keen for Ana's back story and that will be coming up at some point in the next chapter.

Enjoy and please review if you like!

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Ana couldn't get out of Dante's fast enough. She retrieved her coat and handed in her cuff in a daze, ignoring the pleasantries from the staff at the coat check as she concentrated on her breathing which was rapid and shallow.

_I shall not have a panic attack...don't panic Ana, don't panic. The door is just a few feet away..._

She had a small fight with her coat as she wrestled her arms into the sleeves, not stopping to right herself before she exited the doors. Distance is what she needed and she needed it right now. As soon as the cool night air hit her, she took gulps like a swimmer coming up for air. She broke out into goosebumps even though it wasn't that cold and she had her coat on, _just_. A shiver ran down her spine as she gathered her wits and dashed down the sidewalk as fast as her heels would allow.

Furiously digging into her purse, she fished for her phone and keys whilst a she kept up her rapid pace along the street to where she'd parked. She wouldn't feel safe until she got into her precious silver Audi TT.

She fumbled a few times to swipe the arrow and code into her phone, missing it a few times as her hands were trembling. She needed to call Kate, who she'd promised to ring before midnight to check in. They'd agreed to do this with each other when Ana had insisted she go to Dante's alone before meeting Kate later at their favourite dance club. Kate knew why she wanted to go, but had no interest in that scene whatsoever, leaving Ana to go it solo. Besides, Kate was having dinner with her boyfriend first and she didn't want to sully her romantic night out with her kinky curiosity.

Slipping into her car, she dialled Kate's number, put her phone on the hands free dock and started up the ignition. The car gave a gentle roar and was then filled with soft piano music. Not exactly a prelude to a night out dancing, but now and before she'd gone to Dante's, it was a balm to her nerves.

Kate answered after two rings. "Hey Rose, you O.K. honey?" To everyone but those in an official capacity, she was Rose. Anastasia was her name in a former life and she only used it when she absolutely had to.

"Hi Kat, I'm on my way to you now. As to whether I'm O.K? Physically I'm fine, mentally - I'll have to get back to you. I'm still processing." She blew out a big gust of air and rolled her neck.

How the hell could she explain the stranger with the gorgeous eyes? She wasn't quite sure what to think of him herself.

"That bad huh? I can only imagine the kind of freaks in that place, but hey girl, you've got some balls going in there alone. You sure you don't want a job in journalism? You'd be great!" Ana laughed at her friends' cheeky compliment.

"Er, no to the job thanks, even I have some self-respect left enough to turn that offer down. I'll tell you all about 'the freaks' tomorrow night. Hun, I'm parking in the underground garage now, see you in five." Before she could hang up, Kate jumped butt in.

"I'll send Elliot down to get you...you don't know what creeps are hanging around at this time of night." Ana wanted to protest her independence, but deep down she was relieved. Even after all these years she was still jittery at night.

"M'kay." She hung up, grabbed her purse and the tote bag she'd brought along with her outfit to get changed in. There was no way she was dancing the night away in a sweaty club in a leather dress and four inch heels. The chafing wouldn't be worth the agony in the morning.

She could see Elliot, all six foot four of him come bounding over like an overzealous Labrador and open her door before she could get out herself.

"Good Evening Rose, how are you this fine evening?" She couldn't fault his manners, his mother had obviously brought him up well, it's just that he was being overly formal tonight and Ana was suspicious.

She narrowed her eyes at him as he shut her door. "Er...I'm fine Elliot, you?"

"Babe, I have two gorgeous women out with me tonight...everything is right in the world!" His cheeky naughty boy smirk was infectious and she chuckled and shook her head in amusement. She knew when he was angling for a threesome.

They were walking to the private elevator that led up to the club; the sound of the bass reverberating through the concrete structure. She felt like letting loose tonight, but not so loose that she was in the mood to sate Elliot's fantasy. She wished that Kate had never told him about their sometime girltime. He was grinning like a Cheshire cat now, what the hell would he be like if they actually indulged him?

"Not going there Elliot, not tonight." She pushed the button to take them up the two floors to the club lobby.

"Aw come on.." He whined. "Hang on, you didn't say _no_, just '_not tonight_'. Raincheck then, yes?" The guy was relentless but also harmless and she welcomed the drop in tension that his banter gave her. It was just what she needed after all the sexual tension from Dante's.

The doors pinged open and they were jumped on by Kate before Ana could answer.

"Rosie honey, you look fuckhot! Is that what you're wearing now? You'll sweat like a pig in that dress you know...Oh Elliot baby, you're so sweet to go get my Rosie, you're like...the best boyfriend ever." It seems that Kate had had a few drinks before Ana arrived and had a bad case of verbal diarrhoea. It was pretty normal considering her career.

"Hey Katy Kat, thank you and no, I know. I've got stuff to change into. Come on, I need help out of this dress and no Elliot, you cannot help! Shoo!" She dragged Kate off of Elliot, who was being rewarded with a sloppy kiss for his chivalry.

After checking into the club and getting changed into a cooler outfit of a black mini, lace shell top and ankle boots, they tracked Elliot down at the bar. He'd already lined up two cocktails for them and Ana took a grateful gulp before she reached up to put her hair up in a high ponytail. Dancing was a sweaty business and with hair as long and thick as Ana's, it needed to be up off her neck.

Although her signature drink was a Hemingway, it was the girl's custom to drink the most ridiculous looking or sounding cocktails they could when they went dancing. Currently they were drinking a Blue Lagoon and they giggled as they stuck their blue tongues out at each other like adolescents. Elliot on the other hand was sticking to beers as he lapped up the atmosphere. It was both strange and nice that they hung out together as a trio. Ana felt secure and they both made her feel wanted and not at all like a third wheel, which is what she was in actuality.

Elliot guarded their drinks whilst the girls went off to dance, watching them like a hawk from his perch at the bar. Ana lost herself in the hypnotic beats of the music, enjoying the way she could relax and let her mind go blank. The euphoria she experienced from the adrenaline pumping music was her drug and she let herself succumb. She was aware of Kate like a second skin, they always stayed close, either holding hands, dancing back to back or in each others arms.

After a few pit stops at the bar to quench their thirst, the girls were both well on their way to being smashed and this was the time that Elliot loved most. They would stay close and dance sensually against each other - not in a gratuitous slutty way, it was more than that. It was a tactile expression of their deep friendship and shameless appreciation of each other. If they were a male and female nobody would bat an eye, but because they were girls the guys flocked around with salacious grins as if expecting a lesbian porn show to commence and second.

_Adolescent cock tuggers._

Before they attracted too much attention, Elliot sauntered over and placed himself between them and they carried on their little show, much to the disappointment of the hard-ons surrounding them.

"You girls sure know how to get a guy all hot and bothered. Fuck! I thought I was going to have to rub one out sat at the bar, _damn_!" He leaned forward to suck on Kate's tongue as he grabbed my hands that were at his waist and brought one down to stroke the bone in his pants.

"Fuck off Grey, you're such a charmer, your momma know you talk to ladies like that?" Ana teased him in her best southern accent. Kate and Elliot were madly in love and both secure enough in their relationship that a little flirting with her bestie was just harmless fun - even if Elliot begged them for a threesome at least twice a week.

"I don't see no ladies here ma'am. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to borrow my woman for a quickie in the bathroom."

"Ugh, you pig. Romance is definitely dead!" Ana said in mock disgust. Kate didn't seem to care as she giggled coquettishly as he pulled her along in the direction of the bathrooms.

Back at the bar, their seats were still free and their empty drinks gone. Feeling a pleasant buzz she had the presence of mind to switch to soft drinks. Getting blind drunk in public wasn't an option. She liked to have all her faculties around people, but getting hammered in the privacy and safety of home was not a problem.

Ana liked to think she was observant and prided herself on her exceptional senses. Repeated sensory deprivation would do that to a person - heighten their ability to sense on a deeper level. Like a sixth sense she could feel somebody watching her and not just the usual drunk assholes that leered from a distance. Without drawing attention to herself, she ordered a cranberry spritzer and turned in the direction of the lounge bar and scanned the room nonchalantly.

A couple of guys caught her eye and smiled, but she skimmed over them, not giving them the opportunity for an opening. Her gaze landed on a guy who looked just a little out of place in a dance club. Black suit, white shirt, black tie, buzz cut. He was built like a football player; the sheer size and presence of him screamed 'don't fuck with me'. What gave him away was the tiny wire connected to an earpiece and the appearance that he was talking to himself.

She cocked her head, trying to place him when it came to her. She'd seen him in Dante's near the bar and just thought he was a punter even though he looked too 'normal' (if there was such a thing) to be into the stuff there. It was too much of a coincidence that he was here now and boring a hole in the side of her head as she continued to scan the room like she hadn't noticed him.

What the fuck was he doing watching her?

Should she be worried...should she go and get Kate and Elliot?

Ana's breathing started to pick up. She hoped he wasn't a wolf in sheep's clothing that had followed her from Dante's to here, hoping for fuck knows what. There wasn't another reason that was clear to her and it made her more than a little uncomfortable. She took her phone out of her purse and shot a text off to Kate. Hopefully she still had her bag around her body and would feel it vibrate.

"KK code yellow." They'd established this code initially in jest when Ana had talked to her about her past. If she felt uncomfortable or slightly threatened then their code would be yellow. If she was freaking out or worse, it was red.

Within twenty seconds she got a reply. "OMW" 'On my Way, meant Kate to the rescue, and Elliot of course. Not ten seconds after Kate was stalking towards her, a fierce determination on her lionesses face. She took my hands in hers.

"Who and what Rosie?" She demanded. Ana felt a bit guilty for interrupting their tryst for just a hunch, but Kate didn't seem to mind.

Glancing towards the Men in Black wannabe she said lowly. "Black suit, buzz cut. Was at Dante's. He's got an earpiece and I'm sure I'm being paranoid when I say I think he's watching me."

With less discretion than she'd hoped, both Kate and Elliot turned to where she'd indicated. When she looked up, the guy was walking over to them, looking a little sheepish that he'd been outed.

"I know him, it's O.K." Elliot said, relieved. Waiting for an explanation, she turned to Elliot.

"Who is he?" Before Elliot could answer the two men met and shook hands. They stepped away from Kate and her so they were out of earshot. Kate was not known for her patience and after a minute, stomped over to get her explanation.

"Elliot baby, who's your friend." Kate might look like an airhead, even act like it sometimes, but that was all it was - an act. She was actually very sly, persuasive and convincing. All the traits needed of an investigative journalist.

Kate had pulled Elliot back enough that Ana could now hear.

"Baby this is Taylor, my brother's CPO, he's cool." He reached out to take Kate's outstretched hand.

_CPO - what the hell is that?_

"Miss Kavanagh. Miss Steele." A brief incline of his head was his only greeting.

It took Ana a moment to realise that he'd called her by her name and Kate too. How did he know them?"

"Taylor, my friend Rose here thinks you're following her. Why would she think that?"

He had the conscience to look a contrite. "Sorry about that Miss, but I was at the same club as you earlier…" He glanced briefly at Elliot as if he was wary about revealing where he was, before continuing.

"I noticed that you dropped your bracelet when you left and I was too late to catch up, so I...followed you. I can see how that might appear suspect."

"What's a CPO?" She asked, completely ignoring the fact that she hadn't noticed her expensive cuff was missing.

Both he and Elliot spoke at the same time. "Close Protection Officer." "Bodyguard".

Due to the alcohol, Ana was a little slow on the uptake but slowly and surely realisation hit her. He was Elliott's brothers' bodyguard...and he was in Dante's, a BDSM club...most likely with his brother… Oh, wow, that was one hell of a coincidence now wasn't it?

"Oh, right" Was all she could manage. The part of her brain that was responsible for vocal function had diverted power to her imagination zone that was firing synapses left, right and centre. What were the chances that the gorgeous, rich looking stranger was Elliot's brother? Ana was a firm believer in coincidences, luck, karma and all that nonsense along with fairies and ghosts, so the chances that Mr Dominant was a Grey was right up there in the 'hell yeah!" of possibilities.

She didn't want to ask and was immensely relieved when he produced her cuff and she didn't have to ask for it. The question about the other Grey brother was on the tip of her tongue, but she knew it would be foolish to ask.

_Let it go Ana, don't get involved. _Of course, Kate, ever the inquisitor just had to ask exactly what was on Ana's mind.

"If you were at Dante's that means you were there with Christian then?" _Please deny it, say it's not him._

Taylor cocked his head as if he was listening to the voices again. Ana wondered if the earpiece was live and whoever was on the other end was listening to their conversation. Most likely she supposed.

"Negative Miss, I was having a drink with a friend who owns runs the bar. Mr Grey was at dinner, but is now on his way here now that I've let him know his brother is here. He wishes to speak to him." Drop the bomb!

Ana choked on her own tongue. Bullshit! She was positive that he was there on his own and never spoke to anyone at the bar. But fuck! This Christian was on his way here...it had to be him. Ana just knew it. She had to get out of there. There was no way she was having another close encounter, sans masks, with Mr Dominant.

"I've got to go…" The three of them turned to look at her. She was aware of the panic in her tone and luckily Kate could see that she was on the verge and was serious.

Taylor winced as his earpiece screeched at him so loudly that even Ana could hear a voice. Jeez, the guy on the other end must be one hell of an asshole to potentially bust the poor guys' eardrum. Self-consciously Taylor rubbed his ear and shook his head.

"Miss...I apologise if my following here has scared you in some way. I assure you that I mean you no harm, it's just your jewellery looked expensive and I was sure that you'd be upset to know you lost it." Wow, he was good. She'd give him credit for trying. He was sincere but there was an undertone that made her suspect he was trying to keep her there. If that didn't confirm her suspicion then she was losing her touch.

"It's fine Taylor, I accept your apology. And, thank you for my cuff, I had no idea it came off." She'd got so used to wearing it, day in day out that she almost forgot she had it on. Now that she thought about it, she hadn't noticed until then that the scarred skin of her wrist was on display. She quickly covered her wrist with the palm of her hand and grimaced internally.

Kate took Ana by the shoulders. "Sweetie, if you still want to go, we can go...it's no biggie."

"I really don't feel so good…" It wasn't a complete lie. She didn't feel sick from the booze, but the bubble of apprehension building in the pit of her stomach was remarkably similar.

Taylor, the diplomat it seemed spoke up. "Would you like me to escort you to your car Miss?"

If he was trying to keep her there until his boss showed up, he was doing a piss poor job now. Mind you, if a girl was feeling sick you'd have to be as asshole to delay her. She had a feeling that said asshole was tearing up the tarmac to get there and witness her humiliation.

There was no way in hell she was hanging around to meet face to face with the guy that near enough propositioned her in a BDSM club, in front of his own brother and his girlfriend. Awkward much?

Kate raised her brow in question to her. 'Your call' her eyes spoke.

"Thanks Taylor, I might just take a cab though if you don't mind coming up to the surface with me? I've had one too many cocktails to drive anyway." At least she had the sense of mind not to flee and drive drunk. He would be the lesser of two evils.

"Sorry Katie Kat, I'll see you later tonight for Zumba, O.K?" Kate grabbed her and squished her in a hug as she whispered in her ear.

"What's got you so riled up Rosie, you OK?" Ana nodded her head and promised to text her later when she got home. She fully intended to get her shenanigans down on her blog too. That would make one hell of an entry!

Pulling back, she gave Elliot a quick kiss on the cheek as he gave her his signature farewell. "Laters baby!"

Taylor followed Ana to the coat check to get her coat and bag before entering the elevator to go up. Ana's mind was a whirl. What the hell was Elliot's brother doing in a BDSM club and why was he making such an effort to have her followed? Why the hell was he on his way here now - what sort of game was he playing? Didn't she make it clear that she wasn't in the market?

The doors of the elevator pinged open and they exited into the ground floor lobby. As they walked out of the building she looked up and down the street, ready to hail a cab when a thought occurred to her.

"How did you know my name Taylor...I never told you." Before he could answer, the blacked out window of the car parked on the street in front of them rolled down revealing a voice she'd never forget.

"That's because I did...Anastasia."


	3. Chapter 3

Fade to Grey - Chapter 3

* * *

A/N - a big thanks to all those who reviewed, your comments really boost me. If I didn't reply, I'm sorry - I've just worked out that I didn't have an alert on for reviews, just follows/faves.

Here we continue with Ana/Rose and Christian on the street and her back-story. I was toying with making her more hard hearted and telling him to go f**k himself, but I thought I'd let them have a chance. It doesn't mean than Ana is just going to bend over for him though.

Content warning: memories of non-con situations and torture at the end of this chapter.

* * *

As soon as she was out of sight Christian felt the odd sensation of failure. He didn't like anyone or anything slipping through his fingers when it had sparked his interest.

This woman Anastasia had given him that spine tingling thrill the moment he saw her. The moment she spoke to him, her voice was imprinted on his brain and he was sure that he wouldn't be able to get their brief encounter out of his mind until he'd had her.

He was intrigued enough to throw caution to the wind and go after her. Pursuing a female outside the circle of his 'lifestyle' was out of character for him, but he was sure that this woman had something worth deviating from _his _norm. He had impeccable instincts in business and had a way of reading people that his colleagues joked was akin to some kind of superpower. She had seemed vulnerable and nervous and that made a deep seated protective instinct come to the surface. Having his own insecurities made him empathic like that; which was wholly ironic considering that he fucked and beat the naked women every weekend.

There was an untold story in Anastasia and he was both intrigued and annoyed that he was left wondering with her. No woman had ever turned him down, not that he attempted to seduce her, but he didn't normally need to try. Women just wantonly threw themselves at him and quite frankly it annoyed the hell out of him.

In the space of two minutes, he and Taylor were out the door and in his Q7 following the sporty Audi they'd watched his mystery woman drive off in. If Taylor was perturbed that he was following a woman like a stalker, he didn't show it. He wasn't paid to pass judgement; he did what he was told, even though Christian was sure that if he ever crossed the line Taylor would let him know. He wasn't a brainless meathead, he was a powerhouse and a brilliant security expert and he trusted him implicitly.

He'd never been to this particular club before, but he knew Elliot and his girlfriend sometimes went as he'd had to endure some his brothers morning after tales at their mothers brunches on Sundays. Elliot had often mentioned his girlfriend's friend who went with them and how often he alluded to the three of them getting together, in the carnal sense too.

It would be one hell of a coincidence if she was on her way to meet Elliot and Kate right now. _What were the chances?_

He was pretty sure that the name he'd mentioned wasn't Anastasia though, so he put the thought out of his mind.

They pulled up right outside the club as the little Audi disappeared underground and they agreed that Taylor would go in and scope the place out before Christian went in. He wanted to see this woman in action, see who she was meeting and whether she was the same scared little mouse in a room full of inebriated dancers.

He was surprised to hear that she was indeed meeting his brother and his girlfriend and that they were just having a few cocktails and dancing. He waited around an hour, patiently working on his tablet whilst Taylor kept him informed of what was going on before his man informed him that Anastasia was onto him.

He told Taylor to activate the hands free device on him and so Christian could listen in on the confrontation that was about to go down. It seemed that Anastasia recognised Taylor from before, so assumed he was stalking her. She'd panicked and appeared jittery, even though Taylor had come up with a plausible story which wasn't altogether untrue. She _had _dropped her cuff in the club, but it would've been standard policy to keep the item until it was collected. His excuse for following was that he was offering a personal service.

It looked like he was going to meet her after all. The conversation that followed meant that she'd be out on the street in a few minutes and not in her car driving away from him. He was desperate to see those stunning blue eyes again. Uncharacteristically, Christian checked his reflection in the mirror. There was no need, he knew he was always put together well, but something about this encounter made him feel like he needed to up his game. He removed his jacket and tie, unbuttoning his crisp white shirt to reveal the top of his chest. Out came his cufflinks and so he could roll his sleeves up.

With his eyes pinned to the door, he stared as she emerged with Taylor, her face lit by the streetlight nearby was anxious. Still with the phone on speaker, he could hear when she questioned how Taylor knew her name - a novice mistake that he wouldn't reprimand his man about as it had given him the ideal opening.

"That's because I did...Anastasia."

* * *

Ana's eyes darted to the stormy gaze of the hunter in front of her. She felt like a cornered gazelle.

She wanted to speak, to ask him incredulously "how do you know my name and why the fuck are you here...following me?", but the words caught in her throat. That nauseous feeling had returned and she could feel the saliva gather in her mouth that was always the precursor to throwing up.

Sucking in a few deep breaths and concentrating as hard as she could to quell the bile rising inside her, she pulled her big girl panties on.

"That's not my name." The words sounded petulant and she regretted not spitting something more articulate.

Mr Grey, unperturbed by her negative retort parried with "that's not what my club records say."

What? _His _club? Oh fuck, tonight was just turning out to be one big nightmare. Why the hell couldn't she just leave the past in the past?

"Only strangers and people I owe money call me that." That sounded petulant too, but she was in no mood to indulge whatever game he was playing.

He didn't look at all deterred by her inference that he was a stranger and not privy to her chosen name. She was trembling a little and he noticed, mistaking it for a chill.

"You're cold." Slowly his gaze roamed over her bare legs and arms appreciatively, but surprisingly laced with concern.

"So they say…" His eyebrows rose at her snark. "You didn't answer me. Why are you following me?"

Once she'd left the club thinking she was going to avoid a confrontation with him, she started to chill out, only for the anxiety to return two-fold. Her body was fighting the fight or flight response, the adrenaline rising and ready to go. Part of her just wanted to run down the street and away into a cab; another darker more curious part of her wanted to know why this man had followed a stranger across town. She was wary of men like him, he was dangerously beautiful and she daresay mesmerising like that of a swan. His allure pulled you in, making you want to know more, but underneath lurked something you really didn't want to find out. Like in all those vampire novels she read, the heroine always fell for the dangerous handsome mystery man.

He moved to get out of the car and she reflexively jumped back and reached out, grabbing Taylors arm in the process. Taylor let her, but gave her a curious look.

"Its fine Miss, don't be startled." She glanced to him nervously. Why was she so jumpy? Oh right, she was standing in the street with two strange men at 2am, one of which was a gorgeous Dom and one WWF wrestler in a suit. Nothing screamed 'stranger danger' more than that.

"Am I really that frightening?" Mr Grey spoke softly now, all the dominance from his previous words gone. She had to admit that out of the club in an unbuttoned shirt, he looked just like any other gorgeous guy. She felt a teensy bit abashed; judging him solely on their interaction at the club, perhaps there was more to him that whips and chains. But he still hadn't answered her dammit. Answering him she shook her head minutely.

As if reading her mind, he seemed almost embarrassed at his next admission. "I apologize for startling you. I...feel like we had a brief connection back at the club and wanted to talk to you some more... _Fuck_! I don't know how to do this…"

His hand went to his hair which he tugged in frustration. It seemed he wasn't quite as articulate as his confident demeanour portrayed. It was a feeling Ana knew well. She was bursting inside with feelings and thoughts, but kept it all to herself with the tiny exception of Kate, her art and her blog. Letting all of it out to anyone else would feel emasculating. She kept quiet and let him work out whatever words he could in his head.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening up his eyes to look at her with a whole new sincerity shining through.

"Anastasia, would you permit me to take you to dinner tomorrow night?" His earnest expression softened her resolve a little and she realised that she could probably let go of Taylor now. Maybe he wasn't quite the monster she assumed he was.

Was she dicing with danger to accept? She'd got that instinctual nervousness she developed from being in the presence of a powerful man and he had found out information about her...followed her. She should be freaking out, but was surprised to find that she wasn't so frightened now. It was just dinner wasn't it? She wouldn't know until she tried right? Perhaps in a normal setting he would be less intimidating - he certainly seemed less so now.

"I'm sorry for my reaction. I'm not good around...strange men. But as to your invitation...I accept, thank you." She felt like a coy teenager being asked out on a date. It felt surreal being so normal, seeing as the evening started out so deviantly.

To his credit, he beamed a beatific smile at her and stepped forward with his hand raised.

"Let's start again. Nice to meet you Anastasia - Christian Grey." Tentatively she held out her hand and was surprised when he took her fingers and kissed her knuckles. It was very gallant and she found she liked it...very much.

Up close, in the less abnormal surroundings she found herself enjoying his touch and boy, was he cute. The skin of his hands felt as soft as the skin on his face looked and she felt herself itching to trace that masculine jaw. He had such pretty grey/blue eyes she was sure would look even more stunning in the daylight. His hair had that expensive bed head look that cost normal folks a fortune, but he probably woke up looking like a model. Hmmm, quite a nice package altogether and that didn't include 'the package' - she wasn't even going there!

Throwing him a bone, she introduced herself too. "Nice to meet you Christian. Please call me Rose."

If she thought he looked pleased before, he looked positively ecstatic now, although there was a hint of something you couldn't place. Mischief? Triumph?

"Taylor was right, it suits you better." Huh? Oh, she got it now. Taylor and he had been in communication the whole time and had heard Kate mention her name. So sneaky...

"Uh-huh. I bet you know more about me than most people - I don't know whether to be scared by that or flattered."

He was still holding her hand with that little boy smile on his face. Something told her that it wasn't a common occurrence for him and she got that. A few minutes ago she was a hair's breadth from kneeing him in the balls and running for it.

Squeezing her knuckles gently he ran his thumb over her palm - why did such an innocent touch feel so very erotic?

"Believe me when I say this Rose, it's a lot of one and some of the other."

Just a smidgen of anxiety returned at that statement and she had to remind herself where she met him. He was a Dom and although he wasn't in 'the zone' right now, it was just beneath the surface. She genuinely hoped that she was doing the right thing now that she'd accepted his invitation. He seemed to like reminding her that he liked control and that there was something dark lurking there and for the life of her, she couldn't bring herself to flee now.

"Well, Christian this has been..._different_, but I have to get home to Sawyer. Goodness knows what I'll find when I get back." He was frowning at her now, the unasked question hanging between them.

"My dog, he's the love of my life but can be huge pain in my ass." Ana laughed as she thought of her beloved Doberman. He was fiercely loyal, brave and handsome but just like his namesake; he could get up to mischief in an empty room.

Strangely, a look of relief appeared on Christian's face. Had he been jealous? Of a dog? Interesting.

"Your laugh Miss Steel...I like it. I want to hear more of that tomorrow. Shall I pick you up at 7pm?"

Talk about disarming. He was a complex man. At first he'd seemed like he wanted her to be afraid of him and now, he wanted her to laugh. In that case, she was choosing the location. She was out of her comfort zone at Dante's whilst he seemed right at home, so tomorrow she would turn the tables.

"That's fine, but I choose the restaurant. I'm assuming from all the sneakery tonight you know my address?" He probably had a dossier on her already if he had access to the club records and someone like Taylor for a bodyguard. Lucky for her, any information that would be sensitive was sealed away for her eyes only.

He pursed his and squinted in thought; it almost looked like he was miffed that the location wouldn't be under his control. Typical she supposed, but she was pleasantly surprised.

"Deal. And you're right, I know this sounds stalkerlike but 'I know where you live." She had to laugh at the joke; for some reason it didn't sound scary coming from him even though he _was _kind of a stalker.

Ana pulled out her phone and tapped a few screens. "I'll let you know where we're going later so you can get your spies to check it out first." She looked at Taylor knowingly. It was totally what they would do in the movies but she just _knew_ that she was right. The small nod from him said it all.

"But you don't have my number Miss Steele." Ooh, two can play that game. He was asking for it.

She held up her phone. "Oh, it's not just you that has super spy gadgets Mr Grey." He looked amusedly impressed.

Ana spotted a vacant cab coming down the street, so she dashed past him and into the street, hailing the cab before he could go after her. The cab slowed and she went to open the door.

Taking a leaf out of the Elliot Grey phrasebook she called her goodbye to him. "Later's baby!"

He grinned at her and shook his head in that 'what the fuck just happened?' way. She was pretty sure that Mr 'moody dominant that stalks strange women' Grey always got the last word and was a bit put out not to have the night end on his terms.

Ana felt oddly emboldened. She'd gone from frightened and meek to flirty and open in the space of a few hours and she wasn't even that drunk. This was a major development and one that she was very nervous about.

* * *

When she arrived back at her apartment she was smothered in slobbery kisses from Sawyer, but she didn't care less how it ruined her make-up. His was the only affection she welcomed...apart from the gentlemanly kiss on the hand earlier. A shiver ran up her spine and she looked away dreamily remembering it before chastising herself for being such a girl.

Remembering she needed to text Kate to let her know she got home OK, she fired off a quick message to say they'd talk later that night and to read the blog. With a final smoosh of Sawyers ears, she headed to the bathroom to get ready for bed. She might be tired and a bit overwhelmed, but hell if she was going to bed in her make-up and she was a little sweaty from dancing.

When she all ready, she settled down to her nightly ritual - her blog. She had lots to tell tonight. Firing up her laptop, she sat there like a modern day Emma writing in her diary, pouring out the evening events, warts and all.

* * *

_Ragged Rose's blog: Saturday October 10th 2013;3.15am_

_You'll never believe the night I had tonight. ;-/ I'll tell you in a nutshell because otherwise we'll be here til dawn:_

_Went to a BDSM club why I was simultaneously aroused and appalled_

_Got 'propositioned' by a very gorgeous Dom who I turned down - you know why_

_Left in a hurry and lost my fave cuff (call me Calamity)_

_Met some friends at a club - had a few cocktails and danced cares of Mr Dom away_

_Found out that Mr Dom's personal security guard was stalking me and that said Dom was on his way to meet me - they'd picked up my cuff at the sex club - yes, that's what I'm calling it._

_Panicked and had to use a code red (it's been a long time)_

_Ended the night prematurely only to run right into Mr Dom outside - *cue the gasps*_

_He apologised for the stalking and scaring me then kissed my hand and I liked it (yes, sing the tune if you must)_

_He is unbelievably hot and for the first time ever...I think I like a man *more gasps*_

_Turns out I'm too quick to judge cos the guy is not only well mannered, but not actually that scary even though he's a stalker and a Dom._

_I might be going on a date with him tomorrow - he asked me to dinner and now I'm scared shitless! _

_Am I fickle or over cautious? Should I start giving people and I mean men, the chance to get close to me? It's been 7 years since him_

_What if he wants to have sex with me? I want to have sex with him - I felt it deep in my girlybits, but I bet he wants to tie me up and spank me. The thought terrifies me. _

_I don't know if I made a huge mistake tonight going to the BDSM club. It brought back some painful memories but then again, I wouldn't be going out for dinner with a man (who may or may not want to make me his sub). _

_I wish so much to be just a normal girl being asked out on a date._

_But that's never going to happen is it? I'm not normal and he's not normal - whatever normal is? Does that make us normal because we're both not? _

_Told you wouldn't believe the night I had. I really look forward to hearing your comments about this._

_Anyway folks, I'll check in tomorrow night and tell you all about 'the date'._

_Wish me luck...I need it._

_RR x_

* * *

There was something cathartic about recanting her night with her virtual friends. She had her therapist of course, but they always gave you the clinical response. It wasn't always what you wanted to hear. Her followers on her blog helped her esteem immensely. Their virtual pats on the back and shared emotions did more for her than the expensive charlatan she paid to see monthly.

She flicked back through the log of entries to the first one she ever made and started to read. Every now and again she needed a reminder of why she was, the way she was.

* * *

_2+ years ago - An internet blog posted by Ana._

_Ragged Rose's Blog__: Saturday 1st January 2011;3.42am_

_Hi, this is my first attempt at writing a blog and quite honestly? I don't know what I'm doing and I'm not totally sure why I'm doing it. Apparently though, according to my therapist, writing a blog about my thoughts, emotions and experiences out there into the electronic ether will be cathartic. _

_I'm not sure if anyone will actually read this. But hey, what have I got to lose? Nothing. I have nothing, I have nobody, and I am nothing._

_I warn you though, it's not pretty, and in fact it's a bit of a horror story. _

_* Please note that names and places have been changed._

_I'm 20 years old and a recluse. After returning to the US after what happened to me, I was committed to a psychiatric hospital. I was just over 17 years old and had suffered severe mental and physical abuse. I tried to kill myself - several times. After three years of treatment, both in hospital and as an outpatient, I'm here writing this blog for all to see. It's meant to be a visual representation of how far I've come. I want to connect to the outside world but am too afraid to be part of it in person. _

_Perhaps one day I will, who knows? Perhaps one day I will have friends, a job, maybe even fall in love...but I doubt it. Who could love such a damaged person?_

_This is why:_

_It was my 15th birthday and my mother and I were celebrating in a fancy restaurant in X. We'd been there for several days as guests of the American Ambassador where I was invited to perform for a number of influential politicians and businessmen. I was one of four prodigies the Ambassador had invited over from the US to entertain the local dignitaries. His desire to show off his country's talent in a city renowned for its culture and musical prestige._

_I was the youngest of the four teenagers to perform at the royal concert hall; the others being at least two or three years my senior. There was a pianist, cellist, flautist and little shy me who had, according to the hype 'the voice of an angel'. I was pretty good on the piano and a talented artist too - my mother was one of those pushy types and I didn't know any better. I had a promising musical career ahead of me, including a scholarship to an elite academy in Europe._

_The others were not half as shy and well behaved as they were for their audience. They'd tried hard to entice me out on the town, but mother was a fierce disciplinarian when it came to rest and keeping my voice healthy. That meant no smoky places and plenty of early nights. It wasn't even as though I was old enough, but apparently in X I could've gotten away with it as the laws were different than back home. I could've snuck out; all dressed up like the others and got drunk without the locals batting an eyelash. But no, I was a good girl and besides, mother had other ideas. Three nights in a row she locked me in our hotel room after giving me a sedative (a tonic for my voice she said, but even then I knew what it was but like a good little daughter I took it anyway), and sneak out to seedy clubs where she could get her fix. My mother was an addict and in way over her head in debt. _

_I found out the gory details of my mother's demise the next day when she'd stumbled into our room at 5am, totally off her rocks only to drag me out of bed, frantically screeching at me to get packing. We were leaving._

_I was really sluggish due to the sedative, but the manic state of my mother frightened me awake enough to get moving, I was too scared to question her about it. I always wished I'd argued with her and not followed her out of the hotel that morning, for that was the day I met Luka* and my life as I knew was over._

_We were caught whilst trying to get a taxi from the hotel when a van pulled up and two scary looking heavyset bouncer types jumped out and grabbed us, throwing them into the back of the van like sacks of potatoes. I think my shoulder dislocated, they were so rough. I didn't complain too much about the pain though - being held at gunpoint wiped those thoughts away as we were taken for a terrifying ride out of the city to a castle at the edge of the city boundary._

_Luka lived in a castle, a huge gothic Dracula type castle. He was one of the businessmen that had attended the party at the embassy where I performed. From what I remember, he had ties to the aristocracy, hence the castle. I found out quickly that his wealth was not just in business, but in drugs. My mother had chosen the wrong man to piss off when she didn't have the funds to pay for the inordinate amount of drugs she'd consumed whilst enjoying his hospitality._

_Mother was unconscious when they dragged us from the van, having hit her head hard earlier. We were taken to some huge hall, with all manner of antique furniture and artefacts and dumped at the feet of our kidnapper. I knelt on the ground, trying to rouse my mother when the man explained who he was, what mother had done and what he was going to do. Unfortunately for me, Luka wanted me as payment - he'd heard me sing and thought me beautiful. Even though he was at least 20 years my senior, my age was irrelevant to him. He had a twisted perverted mind and an obsession with the Marquis de Sade and in his honour, was going to keep me there as his slave and there was nothing I could do about it. I tried to run, believe me. I kicked, cried and screamed only to be held by my arms by a guard as he pulled a gun from his jacket and executed my mother by shooting her in the head right there in front of me. _

_I must have passed out then as I woke up stripped and shackled to the wall in an empty stone room that I could tell was high up, like a tower. I was left there for the day and night, freezing cold with no clothes, water, food or provision to go to the bathroom. I was terrified and inconsolable. I had no idea where I was, if I could get out and what was going to happen to me. My mother was murdered...I was a prisoner._

_The next day, two older women came in and threw buckets of cold water over me before a burly guard dragged me before Luka. He was handsome for an older man, but so hard and cold. In a commanding and emotionless voice he outlined my duties to him, which were basically to be a slave to his 'needs' and perform for him whenever he wished it. I tried to protest, to get free and run away but the guards holding me were strong. I earned my first punishment that night and endured the excruciating sting of a whip on my back, over and over again._

_My life was a nightmare; I sank so low into a depression that I barely functioned. I was force fed, so starving wasn't an option. I did wonder if anyone was looking for us, my father Ray, or the police? But after several months, I gave up any such hope. I fought as much as I could, but learnt quickly that compliance meant less pain in the end. There was always pain in the form of some kind of torment if I disobeyed. He was a sadist and enjoyed inflicting pain for his pleasure. He got off on it and laughed at his own cruelty when I wept or begged for mercy. Seeing me bleed excited him even more._

_I was a virgin when I was taken, but within a week, had endured every conceivable act - most of which I'd never known possible in my innocent mind. For several hours a day I was shackled and alone in a tower room and brought before Lukas at 9pm each night for his 'entertainment'. Some nights he just forced me to sing for him or his visitors who seemed oblivious to my situation; sometimes they were invited to use me. If I refused them, he broke my fingers. I tried to reach out to some of these strangers, but they just laughed in my face._

_Other nights, he took me to his dungeon. It was literally in the basement of the castle. Dim, dank and oppressive, it was filled with all manner of equipment that I learnt first hand were to be the tools of his torture. Being untouched and a little sheltered, I'd never seen any of the equipment that he had, but am well aware now how severe the implements were. He used every imaginable sex toy and torture device you could ever think of on me, every day for the next 2 years of my life until the day he died. That's another story and one that I don't want to repeat - ever. After that, I was able to escape with the help of a guard and here we are..._

_There's so much more to tell and I could do so in detail, but for now I just wanted to lay it out in black and white. I know it sounds hollow and basic, but it's as much as I can do to shut away the feelings the memories evoke without breaking down over my keyboard. It reminds me of the statement I made to the police at the embassy when I got there._

_I hope I can keep writing...I want to. I have nightmares every night and each one stays with me. Maybe putting them here will make me feel better. Now that I've done this, I feel like I've opened up my heart and let you into my head. _

_Has anyone else ever felt so broken? _

_Is it possible to love and be loved after this?_

_RR_

_Comment on this post by clicking link: __raggedrosemail_

* * *

Ana shut the lid on her laptop after she'd finished reading. Two years ago, her first entry was that of a broken, empty girl who yearned for some hope of a future but couldn't see one that wasn't bleak.

The morning after her blog went live she had dozens of messages in her inbox. All were filled with sympathy and expressions of horror for what she'd endured. A couple reached out to her about their experiences and some offered to be her friend or even just someone to talk to should she need it.

It made her smile for the first time in years. She made an effort to answer each of the messages and started a conversation with a girl named Kate. Kate and she became cyber-buddies and one day, they met.

She glanced at the pictures on her bulletin board of her and Kate at various places around Seattle. Her friend had made it her mission to get her out of the apartment and living her life.

She laughed, she had fun and she lived.

Talking of Kate, her phone buzzed with a message from her friend.

**_KK: Rosie, WTF?! Can I tell Elliot that his brother is pursuing you?_**

Ah, Elliot. She imagined that the goofy, soft-hearted brother of Christian Grey knew nothing about the alternative sexual lifestyle he led. She was pretty sure he wanted to keep it that way or he would have gone in to meet his brother at the club. Before she could reply she got another message from Kate.

**_KK: E is pissed that C never turned up. Now I know why._**

She wondered why she didn't turn her phone off instead of start this conversation.

**_RS: Will spill later, NO don't tell E. E&C that's their problem. Nite KatieKat, luv u. x_**

**KK: OK. Luv u2. Later's baby x**

Ana smiled as she turned off her phone and padded her way to her bed. Sawyer settled himself on the floor by the door to her room like a good guard dog, but she knew it was really because of the hot water pipe that ran under the floorboards. He might be a formidable dog, but he enjoyed his creature comforts.

Snuggling up in the covers, she thought back to the look on Christian Grey's face when she said those parting words to him. She wondered if he enjoyed the chase.

If his kisses were anything like the chaste one on her hand, she'd gladly let him chase her...and maybe even let herself be caught.

* * *

Thanks for reading - Review if you like. Apologies for any mistakes, it's late and I'm a bit blurry eyed!


	4. Chapter 4

Fade to Grey - Ch4

* * *

A/N: Warning in this chapter for graphic or disturbing content.

I'm really grateful for any reviews, so if I haven't replied directly to you I apologize. I haven't got that many so far, but hope that all the followers are enjoying the story too. My Ana (Rose) has some growing up to do as a woman, but her mind and body are leaps ahead. She's like many a warm-blooded woman enamoured by a gorgeous man - intensely attracted but afraid to take the leap. Considering her past, you can't help how confused that would make a gal.

It's a good job she has Sawyer. I'm living out my fantasy of having a dog by creating Sawyer as her Doberman bodyguard - I hope you like the twist.

Please let me know your thoughts as to the direction of the story and check out the Pinterest site set up with various sets (see my profile for the link). I would love to hear what you think of my visions of the cast, the locations, the fashion and the kinky shit etc. I can't, for the life of me get my pea-brain around the WordPress site I set up, so I did the Pinterest thing - that site is addictive!

AAx

* * *

_Tick...tick...tick...tick...tick_

_Tick...tick...tick...tick...tick_

_On each tick of the clock was crack of the whip on her back. Ten times the lashing pain caused her to scream. _

_Ten raw and agonized screams that got hoarser each time. She could smell urine and knew that it was hers...it was the stench of fear. Each time a lash came down on her back he made her count - in Czech. _

_Jeden...dva...tri...chtyri... pet_

_Shest...sedm...osm...devet...deset and so on._

_Her back felt like it was on fire, a hot and stinging agony. The more she screamed and begged him to stop, the more he seemed to enjoy himself. His insane laugh proved that. _

_He never stopped when she begged for mercy. He claimed she would come to love the pain and would be begging him for more. _

_He did stop at twenty but only to continue another torture. The rope that held her arms above her head wrenched her body; the sound of the metal chains moving around was nearly drowned out by her sobs. Everything around her was blurred - from her tears and from something he'd made her drink that gave her a weird feeling._

_Her front was pushed over a bench that reminded her of the ones from gym class that you could vault over. Except this had metal loops which she had her bound hands attached to. She tried desperately to twist and writhe out of the bindings, but it did no good. The next thing she knew, her ankles were clamped with shackles and when she tried to kick out, the metal dug painfully into her skin. She couldn't move and her fear ratcheted up even more._

_Another cry of pain sobbed out as he ran his palm down the centre of her back, not considering the welts on her skin - like a lover's admiration. He continued down between the crack of her behind, causing her to flinch. She was rigid and terrified of what was next. Already he had inside her with his fingers and...other things. She dreaded what was coming - was he going to have sex with her now? She cried quietly now, she never dreamed that her innocence would be taken so horrifically. _

_His silence was killing her. The ticking of the clock seemed to get louder…_

_She registered the sensation of something liquid pouring between the cheeks of her behind and run onto her vagina. Was it oil? She squirmed a little and clenched her buttocks. Yes it was oily...her mind filled with dread as she realized what was going to happen. The dread became reality as she felt something hard and cold push against her anus and she screamed in agony as he ignored her resistance and pushed the object roughly into her. He twisted it and wiggled it about, laughing low and quietly to himself._

_The pressure in her behind was agonizing, it felt so foreign that she wanted to push it out. He was holding it there as she tried to relieve herself of the invasion, but it was no good. She soon forgot about the pain though._

"_Time to make you a woman Anastasia...you will enjoy this." He made it sound as if he were making a statement and giving her something wonderful. It was nothing but a horrible, painful nightmare._

"_NO!" __The man was insane and a sadist. _

_She felt him rub what must be his penis against the lips of her vagina and push forcefully. She screamed out and clenched her insides as he forcefully displaced her flesh as he got further inside her. Knowing what was coming; she sobbed into the musty leather of the bench and bit down on her tongue hard enough to draw blood. His movements got more forceful and deeper until he tore through her hymen; he groaned aloud as she screamed in agony. _

"_It is always by way of pain one arrives at pleasure…" His breathy grunts made Ana feel sick. She was already weak and dizzy from lack of food. _

_His grunting brought her out of her dizziness as he thrust a few times before stopping. Unfortunately, it didn't end there as he pulled the object from her anus, removed his penis from her quickly and rammed it where the object had just been. She was horrified as pushed deeper than the object had been and she felt like she was going to soil herself. He had a painful grip on her hips, his nails digging in as he used them for leverage as he pounded hard into her. _

"_Lust's passion will be served; it demands, it militates, it tyrannizes." She didn't know whom he was quoting but they were sick. _

_Ana went limp as she sobbed and endured the pain and the degradation. She barely registered him ejaculating for the second time as she felt the dizziness return and she passed out._

* * *

She woke hyperventilating; a whimpering Sawyer had woken her by licking her face. Realizing her having a nightmare, the first one she'd had in over five months, must have frightened the poor boy she hugged him to her. The sun was already streaming through her windows - she hated the dark, so didn't have any blinds or suchlike. Her electricity bill was proof of another of her little phobias. Sawyer was a great cuddler; his warmth and his strength reassured her like nobody else.

This nightmare was of her first days with Tomas or 'him' as she generally referred to him. He was 'Luka' in her blog for security's sake. She'd shared those first nights as his slave in her blog. Reliving them was both horrific and cathartic; but they were only the start of the living nightmare that followed.

She remembered reluctantly that over time she got used to the pain, even welcomed it some days. Back then, it was the only thing that made her feel alive...instead of dead - like her mother. In a sick and twisted turn of fate, her mind had broken to the point that she'd become reliant on him...she needed him to want to hurt her, abuse her.

She'd come to care for and need her captor. Stockholm syndrome the head doctors called it, along with a whole host of other syndromes. Doctors and police described him as a sexual sadist and sociopath. At the time, she was too young and distressed to understand, but over time she learnt the full extent of his disorder. Being a former Psychotherapist, he used his knowledge of psychology to manipulate her mind into mush. The brain was both a brilliant and dangerous organ - the damage hers had suffered was equal to that of the physical damage inflicted, but somehow she was still relatively sane and alive.

Even though her submission to him had led to her escape, knowing that she had, in part, enjoyed the pain - made her stomach turn. He'd quoted the Marquis de Sade daily as she remained his prisoner, living out his fantasy of debauchery and pain being the only way to feel human. She'd read plenty online about how people chose to be the subjects of the type of man he was; and that people actually called it a 'lifestyle'. She wouldn't ever understand how one person could want to hurt someone they wanted to be intimate with enough to see them cry and bleed. To Tomas there was no need for emotions such as compassion or propriety, just animal lust and the strongest emotions there were - pain, fear and grief. The fact that she'd given him everything he wanted in the end sickened her. The fact that there were plenty more men out there with the same desires frightened her.

_Men like the ones at Dante's - men like Christian Grey._

Ana leapt out of bed, making Sawyer jump up and bark as he scrambled to follow her as she ran to her bathroom and threw up in the toilet. She retched and heaved until the spasms subsided and the tears began and slumped back on her heels, hanging her head in shame. Was she always going to feel this shame? She'd been doing so well…

It was her fault by going to Dante's. She should never have gone. It cut too close to the bone to see people enjoying pain and pleasure in the way that she had with Tomas. Never was she going to understand why she was both appalled and aroused by it. Repeatedly she'd been told that it what happened wasn't her fault, but she still had a hard time believing it.

Self-doubt plagued her. Fear of not being able to enjoy a 'normal' relationship' because of her past and the consuming need to be loved and desired as well, terrified her. Christian Grey scared the living daylights out of her because he represented the very thing that she knew she wanted in a sexual partner; but could it ever be more? She doubted it. It was burned into her psyche now. Pain equaled pleasure...if you endured pain, you'd receive pleasure. Where was room for compassion, for respect and for love in a relationship like that?

The closest she had got to intimacy was some heavy petting with Kate and one or two other women she'd felt close enough to allow into her life. Although she was attracted to the opposite sex, she'd not had sex with a man since 'him'.

She didn't know if she ever would. As a teenager, she'd been the typical pink obsessed girly girl - so when her mother wasn't pushing her to practice, all she dreamed of was finding someone to fall in love with like in the books and movies. A dreamy, warm-hearted man who would love her and cherish her; they would get married and have kids - a happy ever after. Could she imagine a life like that now? Doubtful - unless she put herself out there and took a risk. Her inner voices reminded her she was doing just that by going on a date with a man tonight.

_Oh Fuck! I can't do it...can I?_

A man that she was intensely attracted to and scared of at the same time had asked her on a date. He was probably going to want to her to be his sub and beat her as he fucked her. A thought that terrified her as much as it turned her on. She was so confused...

"Why am I such a freak?" She wailed into her hands.

A keening cry snapped her out of her desolation as Sawyer nudged her arm. He was on the bathroom floor with her and her heart pinched at the sight of his mournful eyes. The poor boy was probably the only male that would have her heart willingly and the only one that wouldn't break it.

She ruffled his ears and pulled him to her for a hug. "Sorry boy, I'm a mess…"

Bless his little heart as he licked the tears from his cheeks. "Oh Sawyer, why can't you be human? You're such a gorgeous boy…" They shared a tender moment. This dog was far more human than canine, it was amazing.

At times like this, Kate was the best friend a girl needed. Pulling herself up off the floor, she flushed her shame away and tried not to look in the mirror as she washed her mouth out and splashed icy water on her face. She didn't want to see the broken, mentally confused woman-girl in front of her.

She'd lost nearly three years of her adolescence with Tomas. A time when she should have been flirting with boys, hanging around with her friends, going to her high school prom and so on. Instead, as Ana's body matured slowly into a young woman, her experience left her mildly schizophrenic. She had endured the physical pleasures and torments that only adults of experience should know. Her mind was full or horrific images and the ravings of a man mad on moulding her into the perfect puppet for his sadism. Also mixed in with the horror, were the dreams and desires of a teenager who had been shy with boys, never used profanity and loved Disney movies, singing and playing the piano and dabbling in a painting or two. She had been quite immature compared to her peers; so being thrown to the wolf that was Tomas had been extreme.

Plodding back to her bedroom wearily, Sawyer protectively at her side, she grabbed her phone and slumped back on her bed as she shot off a text to her friend. It was late enough that Kate should be up, even after a night out she was an early riser unlike her.

***K, think I fkd up last nite. Rx***

As she thought, Kate was up and texting her back within a minute.

***U left 4 home - wot u do? Kx* **

Kate was going to flip when she told her that Elliot's brother followed her to their club. She remembered the conversation in the club and wondered if Kate had put two and two together and realised that her possible future brother-in-law was into BDSM. Knowing Kate and her sixth sense for this kind of thing, it probably wasn't news to her.

Ana started to text but realised it was going to turn epic, so dialled Kate's number. She picked up after one ring.

"This is going to take a while isn't it?" Her friend asked knowingly.

With a big sigh Ana launched into what happened when the left each other down to the very last detail. Being the good friend that she was, Kate let Ana get it all out, questions and doubts mixed in with the commentary. When finally Ana had run out of steam, did Kate speak.

"Firstly Steele, and I want you to listen to me clearly. You Are Not A Freak! Do you understand me honey? You've had awful, nightmarish shit happen to you and have every right to be wary, to be confused and to doubt people's intentions. O.K. you can be a little emotionally immature but that's only to be expected considering…"

Ana didn't answer. She'd heard this from Kate before and she had to admit that each time she accepted them a little bit more. She sniffled a little. Pouring out her 'confrontation' with Christian and then her nightmare had tugged at a few barely healed wounds.

"The fact that you had some moments of confidence that you agreed to a date is great Ana. It's

normal to want that...I've never known you to want that with a man. My concern with Christian is that he's a dominant personality, in business and his personal life it seems. He's not a bad person as far as I know; I've met him a handful of times at his parent's house with Elliot and although he seemed introverted, he was perfectly polite and respectful to his family."

That may be the case, but appearances had deceived her in the past. The fact that she knew what he was into beforehand did little to reassure her that he wasn't like 'him'. She knew tarring every man with the same brush was going to make her an old maid, but starting something with him was just a fantasy. He was too...powerful. He could destroy her.

"I think talking to him triggered the nightmare I had. It was so vivid Kate…" Ana's voice cracked as hot tears streamed down her cheeks.

"Shh shh Rosie it's over now." Kate cooed. "Perhaps it's best if you don't seem him if this is what he's going to make you think about. You want me to get Elliot to call him?"

She might act adolescent sometimes but being able to deal with stuff like this was part of being a grown-up. Calling Christian and cancelling was the mature - and right thing to do.

"S'O.K Katie, I'll do it but do you have his number? I didn't get it last night." Ana was trying to be clever, pretending that she had the means of tracking him down like he had her. It was immature but hey, he started the game. She knew she could probably get his number from Elliot anyway.

"Good girl. I'll forward you his number from Elliot's phone. He was pissed that his brother never turned up, but now we know why. He was surprised that Christian had something to do with you...he always thought him to be gay, but I never got that vibe from him."

Ana scoffed at the comment. "The 'vibe' I got was definitely not that of a gay man. I wonder why Elliot thought that?"

"I don't know enough about him to know, but Elliot says that he never dates. He's never seen with or heard him talk about a woman in his life." Kate revealed.

A chill of realisation ran down her spine. It was just as she thought - he was a Dom, so he probably had submissives instead of girlfriends. She speculated that due to his business life and family's importance that it was not known; therefore, the gossip that he was gay was never refuted. This made her even more sure that avoiding Christian Grey was for the best.

She'd been silent for a while when she realised she was still on the line with Kate.

"You want me to come over earlier than 4pm for Zumba? You still want to do it, yes?" Ana had to smile. Kate knew Ana better than Ana knew Ana sometimes. If she didn't think that it would tear her friend away from her lover, who was most probably lying next to her, she would say yes.

"Yes I'll help you indulge your fixation with Pitbull and no, you stay right where you are. I'm fine, I have Sawyer and he needs a nice long walk. The fresh air will do us both good. I'll see you later." She felt uplifted at the thought of getting out and blowing any thoughts of handsome, sexy men out of her mind.

Kate laughed. "O.K girl, I've got a new mix. Be ready to sweat your cute little ass off!"

"Can't wait..." Ana drawled sarcastically before a tinge of guilt wiped it away. She was so grateful to Kate for being her friend. "Thanks Katie Kat...I love you."

"Me too you big softy. Laters baby." Kate disconnected the call and stared up at the ceiling, her eyes following the old beams.

Wiping her tears away, she pulled herself up and plodded to the kitchen where Sawyer was tucking into some leftover dry food noisily. She got his expensive dog food out the cupboard and topped it up along with his water. Easily satisfied, her four-legged friend wolfed down the rest chasing his bowl along the floor as he licked imaginary scraps off it.

Ana had poured herself some tea and grabbed a croissant as she watched Sawyer devour his breakfast. She heard the ping of a message from her phone that she'd left in her bedroom, realising that it was the number for a man she really didn't want to have to call. "A necessary evil…" She mused.

Wandering over to the door to her courtyard garden, she let Sawyer out to relieve himself. Autumn was well and truly on its way as the carpet of golden and umber leaves that were collecting on the ground proved. She needed to get out soon to tidy up and make ready for winter. Being busy would take her mind of things that had started to rise to the surface after last night.

Feeling a little chilly, she whistled for Sawyer to go back inside and went to change. Black yoga pants and a pink fleece hoodie were thrown on along with socks and running shoes ready for their walk.

But first, the phone call. She looked at her phone for a minute as she picked it up off the nightstand. Fuck this was harder than she thought.

_Oh, grow up! _Her subconscious chastised. _Don't do it! _ Her inner goddess screeched.

"Both of you shut up!" For goodness sake, she was already fucked up enough mentally without having conversations with imaginary 'friends'. They were like the angel and devil on her shoulder and were no help whatsoever! It was just as well she had no neighbours to hear her talking to herself.

Blowing out a puff of air, she steeled (ha!) herself ready for the lie. Should she lie...say she was ill? Alternatively, she could tell the truth...admit that he freaked her out and she shouldn't have said yes to a date?

Truth won out. She'd want the truth if the tables were turned - even if she was economical with it. To quote George Washington "It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one."

She opened the message from Elliot's number and saved the contact info into her phone, ignoring her inner goddess' raised eyebrow - a silent insinuation that I wanted to keep the number. Hitting the dial number, she swallowed and waited for him to pick up. It rang four times and then went to voicemail...thank fuck for that. The message was short and to the point; an electronic voice asked you to leave a message for...

_Christian Grey._ Ana gulped at the commanding tone of the man's voice. He was intimidating even over the airwaves. How could two words sound so sexy and so aloof at the same time? She realised that a few seconds had passed and she should really start talking.

"Erm, this is _Rose_. I can't meet you later...I'm sorry." Another few seconds of silence and she hung up. It was economical and truthful. When it came to it, she couldn't tell him why, not in a message. She hoped that he'd take the message as it was and realise that she'd blown him off.

She tucked her phone into the pocket of her hoodie and went to grab Sawyer's lead, the sound of it being picked off the hook in the hallway enough to have him scrambling for the door in excitement. She had to laugh at his genuine and innocent pleasure of something so simple. At times, she wished that she could just enjoy the simple things in life without a care. Maybe one day.

Unlocking and locking her door behind her, they headed out onto the street starting with a slow walk as leaves flittered along the sidewalk with them. It was late morning, so people were already out and about in their cars, speeding around on cycles, or like her - walking their dogs. Saturday was a day for chores or hanging out after a stressful week at work for most people. Ana was lucky enough that she didn't have to be tied to such an anchor.

She had enough money after her ordeal not to have to work another day in her life and that suited her just fine. Having a 'normal' job was not something she ever imagined having. A normal relationship yes, but her dream was to be a singer back then...before. Now, singing was reserved for her own ears and those of Sawyer. Kate had heard her once or twice by accident and had positively encouraged her to perform more, but her heart wasn't in it any more. Singing was a reminder of how she'd ended up as Tomas' prisoner, so she consciously avoided it.

The same was true with the playing the piano. She'd never been able to play as she once did - the memory of how Tomas had physically taken away that pleasure was a constant reminder in her stiff joints. She'd loved to play and sing, but once that was gone, she channelled her artistic talents instead. It had started as a hobby - a vent for feelings and creative instincts. When she'd met Kate in person and her friend saw her work; she'd given her the confidence to show people, which also led to Jose.

She'd been walking mindlessly for around twenty minutes, Sawyer leading her to the park like a guide dog leading the blind. Luckily, she'd not walked into any posts or fallen on uneven pavement. She should really be more aware of her surroundings as being accident-prone was just another one of her 'quirks'. Her phone pinged in her pocket to bring her out of her reminiscing and she pulled it out gingerly.

It was a message from Christian.

***Why? Are you O.K?***

Oh hell, what should she say? Realising she'd said that aloud, Sawyer yowled in response. Very helpful. Ignoring her inner voices too, she typed her reply.

***Yes. I was drunk, now I'm sober. As I said at the club - I'm not looking***

His network must be super fast as he replied almost instantly.

***You sure about that? You don't know until you get to know me***

Humph, _cocky_.

***YES. You+Me= a world of hurt - literally***

Please get the message and don't reply Ana begged to her screen. Barely a minute passed for him to reply.

***You don't know what you're missing - reconsider?*** How wrong he was there.

***I know more than you can imagine - it was nice meeting you. Goodbye. R*** She turned off her phone and so she wouldn't be interrupted anymore.

_Morelike you're a big chicken. _Her inner goddess huffed at her, disappointed in her 'sexting' skills.

"Come on boy, let's get going." She stretched the kinks out that had formed from standing messing about on her phone for so long and took off with a light jog, Sawyer trotting along happily beside her.

She tried to keep Christian Grey out of her mind, but his she couldn't help but wonder what his reply was. Her phone was burning a hole in her pocket and she growled in frustration as curiosity niggled at her. She imagined that Mr Grey didn't like to be brushed off with less than a full report on why he couldn't have his way.

A small smile formed on her mouth as she imagined him kicking his executive toys out of his pram at her response. Unless he wanted something from her other than her pain, she wasn't interested.

He could go spank his own ass for all she cared.

* * *

Christian watched in confused amusement as the latest object of his desire sped away into the night. He was used to having the last word and being in control of the situation, but this woman had upset the balance tonight.

He found himself staring after her like a lovesick teen, both confused because he didn't unleash the full force of his dominance upon her, and amused because he didn't even have to. However, that wasn't all. Yes, she was stunningly beautiful, but there was something in her vulnerability and almost childlike fear that intrigued him - it was a dangerous combination. When he was attracted _and _intrigued about something, he would be like a dog with a bone.

The rational part of his brain prodded him to remember that this woman had seen him in Dante's with and without his mask. She knew personal information about his lifestyle and had probably learnt a thing or two from her night out with his brother. Elliot wasn't known for his discretion. That reminded him - he'd used the excuse that he wanted to see Elliot to go to their club. He fired off a quick text in apology to his brother and said that he would see him Sunday at their parent's house.

Now, back to Miss Steele. The situation with her was wide open and he did _not_ like that one bit - it was an amateurish oversight, but countered that he'd not been in a situation to prompt her signing an NDA. He didn't want to scare her off before he'd even started seducing her, so he posited that she'd agree to one on their date.

_A date. _ He was going on a date, with a woman - in public who wasn't his submissive. He wanted her to be, there was no doubt about that. Physically she was the epitome of his desires and her demeanor had all but begged him to dominate her. The thoughts of what he wanted to do to her made him ache with lust. Too bad that he'd just terminated the contract of his latest sub; otherwise he'd have vented that frustration on another brunette. He hoped that Rose wouldn't take long to come around to the idea of being his.

He had Welch on speed dial in a second but got voicemail. Although he was a hard taskmaster, he didn't resent his staff their basic needs like sleep. He knew that Welch, his super-nerdy IT and security genius was more dedicated to him that he was his own mother. Leaving a message for him to look into Anastasia Steele - aka Rose and set up the usual documents ASAP, he joined Taylor who'd gone back to their waiting car.

Taylor - ever discreet, never said a word about his encounter with Miss Steele. It wasn't his place unless he was putting himself at risk physically. Personally, he got it covered with his last call to Welch and the assumption that Miss Steele wouldn't cause him any headaches.

When they arrived back at Escala, Christian said goodnight to a weary looking Taylor and padded towards his bedroom. Before he reached there, the stairs to the upper floor beckoned him with subconscious images that had been floating around his head ever since he'd first seen Anastasia. Slowly he moved up the stairs, his eyes trained on the door that led to his playroom. As soon as he touched the door handle, his back straightened into his dominant stance. He stood looking at the bed for a few minutes before his gaze became clouded. As if in a dream, he stepped towards the bed and gripped the carved post with one hand tightly. Like a flickering hologram, his timid beauty was there waiting for him - wrists and ankles tied with pink ribbons - a present, just for him.

The overwhelming desire to ravish her senseless was no less diminished by his white-knuckle grip on the bedpost keeping him from her. The confliction inside him to both stay away from such a delicate and vulnerable beauty and that of intense desire was almost painful.

She lay on the pale pink sheets - _not red - _naked but for a scrap of pink lace. His eyes took in everything but her face for now as he saw rosy pink painted toes on tiny feet lead up to shapely calves and toned thighs.

_What was with all the pink? _

The pretty pink panties aroused him more than any black lingerie he'd seen before - there being something very innocent about them. He longed to see what was under the semi-transparent material, but more so he longed to touch the smooth toned skin of her lower abdomen. Her skin was milky pale and as he reached out his fingers to trail from her ankle to her stomach, felt silkiness that made him want to lick it.

Moving closer, his fingers grazed the swollen mounds of her breasts. He'd not seen such full and luscious tits since...he didn't want to think about '_her_' when such a goddess lay before him. Past subs had smaller breasts, but these were the stuff of male fantasy. Perfectly shaped, they barely fit in his hands as he kneaded the succulent flesh. Tiny dark nipples pebbled under his thumbs and he could no longer keep his distance. He ached to suck them into his mouth, lave them with his tongue...bite them with his teeth.

_So he did_.

The resulting mewls and the taste of ginger scented skin made his cock throb in anticipation. He'd moved to straddle one of her legs as he sucked like babe from breast to breast, nipping gently between licks. Her ass rose as she ground herself against his leg wantonly. Normally he'd punish such an action, but he found himself enjoying the frustration it caused her and the pressure her leg caused against his erection. Moving one of his hands down her torso, he trailed his fingers across her taut stomach and dipped into those naughty little panties. There was a tiny patch of hair but the mostly bare skin felt silky smooth and hot. Dipping his fingers lower, he reached the promised land that was slick with her juices; slowly he stroked her labia before teasingly dipping inside every down stroke. He was still paying attention to those glorious breasts in turn and teasing her nub relentlessly as she writhed and moaned. He hadn't gagged her and it didn't bother him...the sound of her ecstasy was very gratifying.

Picking up the speed of his fingers moving within her, he pinched her clit as he bit down on a nipple and instantly felt the tightening of her muscles as she orgasmed. The rub of her leg against his covered cock as he'd been pleasuring her was enough to set him off too. His breathy, tortured grunt accompanied a glorious moan that sounded out his name and echoed around the room.

For the first time since he entered the playroom, he looked up at the flushed smiling face and hooded blue eyes of Anastasia Steele. She had a sexy mess of ebony coloured bed hair that fell all around her arms that were now untied and reaching for him. He rushed to kiss those full pink lips but as he did so, he met fresh air as he fell face first into red silk sheets - the cooling stickiness in his pants soaking his crotch of his boxers.

He'd come in his pants...had a _fucking_ wet dream at the ripe age of twenty eight over a girl he'd met only hours ago.

Groaning as he turned himself over on the bed, he looked up at himself on the mirrored ceiling. Shamefaced and flushed with lust, he vowed that if Anastasia Steele could make him come without even being in the room, he'd move Heaven and Earth to make it a reality.

He was a hunter and she was his prey. She'd better watch out.

* * *

Thanks so much for reading.

Disclaimers as usual: I don't own the rights to anything created by E.L James.


	5. Chapter 5

Fade to Grey - Ch5

A/N - I can't believe I got another chapter out so quickly! It must be the encouragement I had for the last chapter and I thank each reviewer from my heart for boosting my confidence. I was getting a little paranoid that the story wasn't that great due to the small amount of reviews. It spurred me on to write from CPOV and boy is he as mixed up as Ana/Rose. Remember that he has no experience of dating, only the BDSM lifestyle, but he's totally having a love a first sight reaction even though he doesn't know it. That's why he's so scatterbrained.

I hope you like my Pinterest page under the same author name. It's packed with my visions of Ana, Christian, gifts, her apartment, her art, fashion and naughty times in no particular order.

I hate to beg for reviews but let me know what you think _pretty please?_

* * *

_Fuck he was tired._

The only time Christian had slept worse than he did last night was when nightmares haunted his rest. Those times were normally when he was stressed and didn't have a sub to take it out on. He'd go to bed wound up, even after running with Taylor or sparring with Bastille. Nothing beat a good night's sleep (pun intended) after a particularly satisfying session in his playroom.

Sleep had evaded him at every toss and turn of his expensive sheets. Each time he closed his eyes he saw the cornflower blue orbs of Anastasia gazing back at him. It was as if her eyes were tattooed on the inside of his lids, so he couldn't even get her out of his mind as he slept. At 4am he'd given up and gone to his office to work.

The debacle in his playroom earlier had pissed him off. Not since Elena had a woman had him unravelled enough to incite a wet dream. Hell, last night had been a wet _daydream _since he hadn't even been asleep at the time! Admittedly it was hot as fuck, but also embarrassingly adolescent and it irked him deep down. The lack of control his body felt just imagining her laid out in his playroom was unacceptable. It was indicative of the kind of uncontrolled behaviour a sub would be punished for.

Even now, working on his laptop his mind kept wandering to her - even a vision of _him_ tied up for _her _flashed through his mind. He hardly fucking knew the woman and she consumed and twisted his thoughts already. Each time he gave himself a mental kick up the ass to dominate his thoughts into submission. Fortunately, he had a prime excuse for focussing his attention on her in a different way when an email from Welch came through with a file attachment for one Anastasia 'Rose' Steele. Clicking on the file he scanned down and frowned at the lack of information it contained.

Basic information like birth date, place of birth, parents, blood type, education, employment and current residence were there, but it was distinctly lacking in anything _interesting._

In one way, he was pleased that it didn't contain anything controversial - it would make their 'situation' easier to negotiate. On the other hand, he wanted _something_ that would tell him why she was so reluctant. Some tragedy or trauma from her past maybe? Disappointed, he closed the file and read the note from Welch that accompanied it. Apparently the lack of information was curious to him too and that made Christian sit up straighter. If Welch's interest was piqued, then there had to be something. Something _more._

He knew without having to prompt him, that Welch would be digging deeper. Neither he nor his team like any surprises when it came to his security, so if Anastasia was going to be in his life, he needed to be sure that she wasn't a risk. It was presumptuous of him to assume that she would be in his life, but he wouldn't settle for less now that she'd gotten under his skin.

Never having had to go looking for subs - Elena did all the hard work on that front, Christian found himself having no relationship experience to fall back on in order to seduce her. He knew he was attractive and could charm the panties off many a socialite or model, but intuition told him that Anastasia was going to be hard work. He wouldn't be surprised if she blew off their date once she'd had time to think about it and the alcohol she'd consumed had dissipated.

_That wouldn't be happening in the future. He'd make sure that any alcohol consumption was strictly monitored. He couldn't have his submissive going out to clubs and getting wrecked every weekend. _

Getting ahead of himself he scanned through the rest of his emails before continuing with the GEH monthly reports. Several hours past before he started to feel hungry so he shut his laptop down and went in search of breakfast.

His penthouse at Escala was silent but for the muffled noise of the city outside, already bustling with activity. With Gail off schedule at the weekends, he found himself making his own simple breakfast of cereal and milk. His mind and body were beginning to wane from lack of sleep so it was all he could manage. Foregoing coffee, he chugged a bottle of water from the refrigerator and plodded back to his bedroom, hoping this time sleep would come due to exhaustion.

As he was in the bathroom, brushing his teeth he heard his phone ring but let it go to voicemail. It would only be a couple of people that would call him on a Saturday. His mother or the caller he was anticipating. When he went back to his bed, he picked up his phone where he could see the voicemail symbol was lit up. With a sigh, he hit the button and waited for the message.

Unfortunately it wasn't his mother. He was right, Anastasia had cancelled him. Her message was vague, mildly apologetic and altogether very unsatisfying. _Why_? Why couldn't she see him? She said '_can't see you_', not '_don't want to see you_'. Was she ill, did something come up? He wanted to know why dammit!

The text conversation that followed resulted in him throwing his phone at the wall in frustration. Why couldn't she be persuaded? Did he really intimidate her that much? The insinuation that she would be hurt by him sounded more literal than figurative. She must have some idea of what he was into, but she couldn't be a stranger to it if she was in Dante's. What was the problem? Surely it wasn't him? _Was it_?

He'd never been plagued by doubt over whether a girl or woman was attracted to him. The proof of that was the near constant eye-fucking and indecent proposals he received. Most men would consider that a dream come true, but to him it was a fucking nightmare. These women were social-climbers, gold-diggers or fame whores who just wanted the illusion of love or his status to fulfil their dreary little lives. Unless they were brunette and liked to be tied up and flogged - they could go to hell.

What had she meant by saying she knew _more_ than he could imagine? He knew and had experienced pretty much everything either as a spectator or personally. There was no way that she, at the tender age of 23 knew more about 'the lifestyle' than he did, surely? Slumping back into his pillows he threw his arm over his eyes as he remembered exactly how much he had gone through up to that age.

It was amazing that he wasn't in prison or an institution with what had happened to him in his early years. Vague memories were turned to vivid technicolour in his nightmares - a horror flick of a childs short life in a slum. A whore and addict for a mother and a violent monster for a father. He actually had Elena to thank for showing him how negative reinforcement - a discipline and rewards system under the guise of a BDSM relationship at the age of 15, was his saviour. Without her showing him an alternative outlet for his tormented mind, he wouldn't be where he was today. Today, he was formidable, in control of his destiny and the master of his universe.

If Anastasia claimed to know more than he, then she had a past that he didn't know about. He didn't like not knowing all the facts, so the email from Welch couldn't come fast enough. Her messages and the observations he'd made of her at the clubs indicated that she'd possibly been in sub/Dom relationship before and it hadn't gone well. He'd had his share, but generally he learnt from his mistakes. That's what NDA's and detailed contracts were for.

Sick of speculating and now exhausted he turned the surround system on and scrolled through his playlists on his phone. Selecting Thomas Tallis - Spem in alium, he never usually got past the first ten minutes without falling asleep as the angelic voices would lull him to sleep. So he prayed it would do the trick.

* * *

He woke to the sound of knocking and before he could rouse himself properly, he saw the blur that was Elliot launch himself on top of him.

"Arrgh fuck Elliot!" He tried to shove his brother back who was now batting him with a pillow. He grabbed his own from underneath his head and squirmed out of Elliot's reach, swiping him in the side of the head with his own weapon.

They'd enjoyed many a pillow fight as kids - it being their version of a playfight not involving physical contact. The brothers were close, but not so much that he knew his preferences in women, thank fuck. The story of Elena and his catalogue of subs was something he would never want his family to know about.

Even though he'd been abruptly woken, he couldn't help but laugh and smile at their antics. It was rare that he got to let loose and act his age – _or younger_. At 28 he should be having fun and enjoying life. He knew the life he was living was just an existence and up until last night he was perfectly happy with that. But he wasn't content – there always felt like there was a gap in his life that needed filling and nothing ever seemed to satisfy. Elliot was content with Kate and a small part of Christian was jealous of his normal relationship. He didn't expect to ever have one of those.

His week days started early and ended late. If he went to an event he attended alone, (but with his security staff of course) and at night he went to bed by himself. The weekends were usually consumed with more work and the release that his subs brought. They provided adequate company, cooked for him and allowed him to inflict pain or pleasure more or less at his whim.

It wasn't a 'normal' life, but he knew no other way.

After battering Elliot hard enough with the pillow that he fell off the bed, they called a truce and his brother finally got around to why he'd barged into his bedroom at - he glanced at his watch -four in the afternoon. Shit! He'd slept the day away.

"Bro, what the hell are you doing in bed on a Saturday afternoon? Are you sick...want me to call mommy?"

"Fuck off Elliot - I'm not sick. I had to work all night so was napping when you blundered in." He lied convincingly.

"O.K. bro, just checking. Hey, it's been a while and I was pissed when you got Taylor to track me down and then blew me off - what the fuck man?" He'd forgotten that he'd used his brother as a cover last night. He felt mildly guilty at that.

"Sorry, I was going to join you and Kate but got distracted by work." More lies.

"That's not what I heard little brother…" Elliot sing-songed teasingly. "I heard you got your stalker on for one hot brunette that I may know …"

He might have known that there would be talk between the trio and Elliot, being as tenacious as Miss Kavanagh wouldn't relent until he had a decent answer. He groaned and rubbed his face with his hands, realising he desperately needed a shower but that it was going to have to wait.

"I admit...I saw Anastasia…" He was interrupted by Elliot correcting him.

"You mean Rose - she hates Anastasia for some reason. Sorry, carry on…"

"Yes, _Rose_. What can I say; she's attractive and wanted to ask her out." He shrugged nonchalantly like it wasn't a big deal, which was the opposite of what Elliot was thinking because the grin that threatened to split his face was evidence enough.

"Whoa, whoa whoa there little brother! I have _never_ heard of you asking a girl out - fuck, the whole family thinks you're gay." He toned down his grin and raised his brows. He didn't stop there.

"So...how'd it go? I'd say you made a pretty big impression. Kate was on the phone to her early talking girl shit and she's round there now. Oh man you should see..."

Christian zoned out for a moment; Elliot's verbal diarrhoea was getting on his nerves since he hadn't even had coffee yet. "Elliot, shut the fuck up for a minute will you."

Rubbing his temples he processed what his brother had told him. If Ana/Rose had spoken to Kate early then perhaps that's why she blew him off. Did Kate put her off him?

"What did she say to Kate?" He didn't usually want to know that ins and outs of girl talk. Mia was more than enthusiastic when talking about her love life and he had to put on a mask of indifference on when he was actually cringing inwardly.

"I think you freaked her out man. Fuck knows what you said to her but I know she was crying and Kate was talking her down. She's..._fragile_ bro. I hope you weren't as asshole?"

Elliot's face was now as concerned and serious as he had ever seen. He liked Rose, it was obvious, but his concern seemed brotherly more than anything else.

"Of course not! I don't know what I did. I asked her out, she said yes, but cancelled on me this morning. It sounds like Kate got to her first." He said accusingly.

Elliot didn't like the accusation at all. "No way man! Kate barely knows you and I was right there. She only had good things to say about you…hold on." His brother stopped and looked like he was remembering something.

"She's her friend, more than that really. They're like sisters and Kate was concerned that if whatever they talked about had upset her so much then maybe going out with you wasn't such a good idea. So...I suppose now that I said it out loud, it does seem like Kate put her off. Sorry man."

Elliot looked contrite, but it wasn't necessary. He supposed that Rose had the right to talk to her friends and it wasn't necessarily him that had upset her, but something else that was linked to their going out. Kate might be a gossip mongerer by profession but she wouldn't knowingly mess in the private lives of friends and family.

"It's O.K. Elliot. I'm too busy to date anyway, I don't know what I was thinking. I hope that satisfies any family gossip about my sexuality by the way." He smiled to himself - the possibility of him being considered gay was ridiculous.

"So, you wouldn't be interested in coming with me to pick Kate up from Rose's place? They're doing a Zumba session - bro, those outfits are so tight…" Elliot grinned and waggled his eyebrows.

"As appealing as that sounds, I don't think Rose would like it if I just turned up at her place." He was torn. His body was pulling him towards the door and shouting at Elliot to hurry the fuck up, whilst the rational part of his body stood his ground.

Elliot wouldn't let him give up so easily. "Hey, if you're with me she'll be fine. You're my brother - there was surely going to a meeting of you two at some point with Kate and her being friends. Plus I think Jose's there too."

_Jose. _That got his attention. His naturally competitive nature reared its head and he wasn't going to let some other guy muscle his way in where he wanted to be. He was going to start subtle with some flowers and an apology for coming on strong the night before, but if turning up in the guise of being out with his brother could get him another opportunity to see the woman of his dreams, then he was going to grab it.

"Fine, but I need to shower first and I need to grab something along the way. Elliot?" He fixed his brother with a serious look. "Thanks _bro_."

Elliot was as happy as a pig in shit at his brother's acceptance of his help and the gratitude with which accompanied it. It was a first for them both.

"No probs little bro, it's the least I can do for you. It sounds like you need all the help you can get." Elliot joked.

It earned him another smack with the pillow as Christian darted into his bathroom to shower and change. When he emerged all fresh faced and changed into a pair of dark jeans and a charcoal cashmere sweater, he found Elliot lounging on the couch watching TV.

"Chris, you really need to get a new couch, this feels worse than airport chairs!" His brothers exaggerated discomfort wasn't actually far from the truth.

The whole apartment wasn't exactly what you'd call comfortable. It was 'styled' and that didn't necessarily mean comfort. It was all clean lines, light and ultra-modern pieces that were more about looks and value. It suited him fine as he only spent time in his office, his bedroom, the playroom or in his music room. The rest of the space was just…_space_.

"It's not made to be lounged on by an ape like you, that's why. Come on, I'm ready. You driving?" He'd get Taylor to follow them and so he had a vehicle to hand should he not be welcome.

He grabbed his keys, phone and a pair of grey suede loafers as he followed Elliot out. Taylor, always knowing his comings and goings without being asked, took up the rear as they piled into the elevator down to the parking garage.

* * *

Elliot's car was an ostentatious gold Range Rover Evoque that would suit a rapper more than the architect that he was. The brothers loved their cars, but Christian could boast his taste was rather more sophisticated. Audi's for work and Aston Martin or Porsche for pleasure. At least Elliot's car had blacked out windows and so he wouldn't have to hide his face.

Taylor got the pleasure of driving his Vantage behind them and a tiny part of him hoped that Rose would be impressed. Having to think about impressing a woman was a novelty as he didn't normally have to try. Did that make him lazy? He supposed so, but being lazy in romance was a moot point. He didn't do romance.

That's what he told himself as he stopped at a florist's boutique on route from Escala. For some reason, he figured Rose to be into pretty aromatic flowers, rather than the exotic arty arrangements that seemed to be the norm amongst the elite circle his family moved in. Elliot told him that Rose liked pink and he couldn't help but reminisce about his 'dream' and the pink panties and ribbons. He chose a dozen blush pink peonies and selected a thick pale pink ribbon to tie it like a posy. _Perfect_.

Elliot had popped into the coffee shop next door whilst he was in the florist shop, but was now waiting for him back in his 'pimp-mobile'. He was taking his role as wing-man seriously as he handed him a double cup-holder with two smoothies.

"Her favourite is strawberry, banana and ginger. The girls normally go out after Zumba but I figure this way you'll maybe get to talk to her - get in her good books. She's an artist, loves dancing and is a bit of a singer too so Kate says, but I've never heard her." Christian was oddly grateful for the inside information. It felt even odder to be getting advice on women from his older brother though.

He nodded in gratitude. "Thanks for the tips, I'm not even sure she'll let me in yet. What the hell is 'Zumba'?"

Elliot laughed. "Course she will, leave it to me - I've got skills." His grin got impossibly wider.

"Zumba is suped up latin style aerobics. If it wasn't for the terrible music and how horny it gets me, I'd stay and watch."

Christian nearly choked on his own saliva. It didn't take much to get Elliot horny, especially where Kate was involved, but he was now even more nervous about what state he was going to find Rose in. The thought of her sweaty and flushed from exercise and in some skin tight outfit made him very uncomfortable in his jeans. All he could manage was a meek "O.K."

Ten more minutes of weaving through Saturday afternoon traffic and they arrived in the Belltown district of Seattle where Rose lived. Her apartment was in a turn of the century red brick conversion that Elliot had a hand in remodelling. Apparently Rose's place was unique to the building as it was at one end where the road sloped steeply, so she had two and a half floors that included a garden and mezzanine floor. She had a studio on the upper floor for her art shit - as Elliot so eloquently put it and a music room. _Interesting._

They parked on the street, double checking the hand brake was on due to the steep gradient and grabbed their offerings before alarming and locking the car. He noticed Elliot's confidence never seemed to waver as his own nerves started to affect him. He was nervous and having second thoughts as he and Elliot moved towards the entrance lobby of her building. Usually he had nerves of steel so he gave himself a mental slap upside the head for being such a wuss.

Elliot buzzed the bell for apartment 1 and waited. Christian had to stop himself from hopping from foot to foot and if it hadn't been for the flowers and the smoothies he was carrying, he would have been clenching his fists.

A full minute passed and the crackle of the voice/video entry speaker pre-empted the breathy voice that accompanied the thumping music in the background.

"Yes - who is it?" It was Kate, rather than Rose.

"Hey baby, it's me. I'm early but come bearing gifts." There was no reply, but he was sure that Kate had seen him in the camera's view. The inner door clicked open and the screen went blank.

The building had an urban artist feel to it throughout. Painted concrete, exposed steel and brick were a stark contrast to the marble and glass of Escala, but he had to admit he liked it. His mind was on overdrive wondering what Rose's place was like.

As they walked to the end of a long wide corridor the door at the end had a huge chrome '1' and a frosted porthole, plus it was open. Christian couldn't help but bristle at the lack of concern for security, even with the entryway system they'd just been through. Even though the girls were expecting Elliot, leaving the door wide open was downright irresponsible.

Taylor was waiting out in his Aston, ready to aid him if he needed it, but he hadn't deemed it necessary. This part of town was pretty calm and respectable. Even so, the thought of Rose being so lax with her safety concerned him and she wasn't even his - yet.

The music was getting louder as they approached and when he stepped into the space, he was surprised at what he found. Rose's apartment was an eclectic mix of rustic, period and art nouveau. The floors were white limed, wood was painted white and places where there was no exposed brick had vividly patterned paper or huge watercolour paintings. _There was a lot of pink. _Elliot had wandered off leaving him standing in a large open space with overstuffed couches that his grandma Trevelyan would just love - mismatching armchairs too. White wooden shuttered doors led to what could only be the garden Elliot mentioned and he found himself drawn to it. The sun was still shining its last rays of the day and he had to admit that he'd walked into a little bit of paradise.

In a space about ten by five metres was the most compact and beautiful garden he'd ever seen. Only the first touches of autumn had a few dry browning leaves mar the otherwise perfectly clear brick laid pathways. Silver birches and lilac trees shielded the garden from eyes around the sound of a water feature was a calming accompaniment to the odd blast of a car horn from the street. It was as if this garden were its own little micro-climate as plants he was pretty sure shouldn't still be in bloom, thrived in this little protected oasis. He'd be the first one to claim he knew nothing about gardening, except for the subconscious tit-bits he'd pick up on from his mother and grandmothers prattle.

Breathing in deeply, the smell of camellias was heavy along with the blooms from the lilac. The fresh green smell of newly cut grass led him to a tiny patch of lawn where a sleeping dog - a Doberman he thought, was basking in the sun. There was a small patch of gravel leading up to the grass and as soon as he stepped on it, the crunch alerted the dog and he sprang up on all on all fours. The dog pinned him with its stare, its teeth bared and muscles poised to strike.

The stare-off between man and dog was testing his mettle; he wondered for a moment if he should summon Taylor, but posited that he might just be too late to stop the dog sinking his jaws into his jugular.

Still not moving, the dog let out a small low growl. Thinking quickly, he'd seen a programme on the Discovery Channel once about the whole Alpha/beta hierarchy with wolves. He'd scoffed at the time about the similarities between Dominants and submissives, but never thought he'd have need for that information anytime soon. For now, he had to give up any dominant tendencies he might be contemplating, for those of a submissive or beta. So, swallowing his pride, he crouched down and bowed his head - a stance he'd not had to adopt for a long, long time.

Without needing to look up he knew it had worked as the growling had stopped and the scary threatening dog had been replaced by one that was now licking his ear and the side of his face. If he wasn't so terrified he'd get his face mauled, he'd brush the dog off. Slowly he moved his head up and came face to face the glossy coated security guard that was the reason Rose felt comfortable leaving her door open.

Slowly he reached his hand up and ran it down the dog's neck, giving him a little scratch around the ears. He seemed to like that a lot as he shoved his face further into Christian for more affection. This was a totally new experience for him. He avoided physical interaction with humans and animals as much as possible, but he found himself quite enjoying it. This dog wasn't like the girly toy dogs that seemed to be popular these days. This dog was imposing, strong and very handsome.

Said imposing dog was now rolling around the gravel for a belly rub. Once he'd obliged, he seemed to pass some sort of doggy test as he jumped up and started nudging him towards the door back into the apartment. He continued to do this all the way to the weirdest staircase he'd ever seen. On one side the steps were wooden and when he looked closely, he saw that they were vintage wooden crates for Pepsi, Bud beer or soap. The other side was smooth metal like that on a children's playground slide. It was marked and scuffed so he gathered that was for the dog to go down. He found himself smiling at the cool concept.

He was still being nudged upstairs and it didn't take a genius to work out that he was being herded towards the dogs' owner. The music was loud, even outside the pink double doors where he could see Elliot peering through. Luckily his brother had waited for him rather than being escorted into the room by 'security'.

Elliot turned and grinned at the sound of our footsteps and claws on the floor. "Your time to shine bro."

He pushed the doors open and the dog darted forward, slipping in before us. What he saw next was like a scene out of some mushy chick flick Mia had forced him to watch with her, 'Dirty Dancing'. Rose was up close and personal with some swivel hipped Latino motherfucker, whilst Kate stood by watching appreciatively.

Rooted to the spot, Christian felt the dog lie down and then put his chin on his foot. It was as if they were both admiring the scene in front of them. He watched mesmerised as Rose danced about twenty feet away; her hips swinging and pelvis grinding into the guy who he was now insanely jealous of. Conscious that he was crushing the stems of the flowers in his hand he let out a long steadying breath.

"I know bro. Told you it was H.O.T." He'd forgotten Elliot was there. He was right about that but was sure that Kate wouldn't approve of his leering and whispered so to his brother.

"Kate O.K. with you eye-fucking her friend?"

Elliot, instead of looking chastised gave him a smug smile. "Bro, _they love it_." The brows waggled and Christian didn't miss the innuendo there.

Elliot and Rose? He gave his brother a questioning look, remaining quiet and in the shadows still. His imagination was running rampant and he didn't like it one bit.

"You and Rose?" He angrily spat it out. Why hadn't he said something before?

"No you idiot...Rose _and_ Kate." The look on his brother's face was that of the cat that got the cream and he wasn't sure he wanted to continue this conversation. If Elliot had fucked both Kate and Rose, he didn't know if he could pursue her after knowing they had carnal knowledge of each other.

"Rose and Kate...and you?" The saucer of cream must've been empty as Elliot's face now looked wistful.

"I wish man. I'm working on it...but hey, if you're going to man up then consider me backed off."

It was Christian's turn to laugh now as the relief swept through him, although he still had the Latino dirty dancer to contend with. Thinking about the girls together didn't get him as hot and bothered as Elliot was, but it gave him pause to think about Rose's inhibitions. Unfortunately his loud laugh had distracted the trio enough that they finally noticed them and stopped immediately. Kate looked both pissed and pleased to see Elliot; he ignored the guy and focused on Ana who looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

They stood staring at each other as Kate finally bounded towards Elliot like she'd not seen him in weeks. The stare-off was broken as the guy grew some balls and walked towards him, hand outstretched. Abruptly the music was silenced by the remote in his hand.

"Hi, I'm Jose and you are?" There was a feminine lilt to his accent but he didn't want to presume anything seeing as he and Rose were just bumping pelvises a few minutes ago.

Before he could speak, Rose finally spoke. "_He_ is Christian Grey, Elliot's brother_."_

Jose looked between the two of us, recognition lighting up his face as he quickly garnered that there was more to this meeting than coincidence.

"Oh, _oh...I've heard so much about you_. What brings you here Mr Grey?" Revealingly the feminine lilt to Jose's voice was becoming more pronounced, so set sure to believe that there was likely little concern over whatever presumed relationship there was between his Rose and Jose.

_His Rose. Possessive so soon Grey?_

"Yes, what brings you here - did you not get my - _the_ message?" Her false politeness was tinged with hostility. But he didn't want to give up now that he'd actually got into her space.

Elliot, redeeming himself and coming to his aid, butted in. "My fault, Rosie I thought you wouldn't mind my brother tagging along - it's been a while since we saw each other."

"You saw each other last weekend and will be seeing each other tomorrow at your parents Elliot…" Kate supplied. Elliot just shrugged. _Wing-man indeed._

Wanting to defuse the growing tension he finally spoke. "I'm sorry to barge in on your afternoon, but I…" really_ wanted to see you even though you don't want to see me…_ "...wanted to apologise for any assumptions you may have drawn about me from last night and I brought a peace offering."

Apologies weren't his strong suit; he didn't normally have to do it so this one sounded really lame coming from his lips.

He held out his arms with the flowers and smoothies in, unable to move because of the hound on his expensive Manolo loafers. Rose looked at the flowers, a small smile finally gracing her lips and to the smoothies, the smile got larger. Kate jumped in and snagged one of the smoothies.

Looking down at his feet apologetically, he kept the offerings up in his arms as Rose slowly moved towards him. Jose had now gone off to one corner and was towelling himself off and talking on his phone. When they were two feet apart Rose stopped and looked down at her dog.

"Traitor." The dog looked up and let out of small whine before settling again. Rose looked confused.

She reached out to take the smoothie, eyeing it suspiciously. "It's strawberry, banana and ginger…" He offered hesitantly...hopefully.

Their eyes locked she took a pull on the straw and swallowed. He knew she wasn't being intentionally sexy but _fuck_ it if his cock wasn't jealous of that straw. It took all his concentration to keep his eyes on her face and not eye-fuck the tight Lycia two piece she had on. With no make-up, hair in a dishevelled ponytail and her bare skin glistening with perspiration she looked gorgeous.

"Mmm thanks. Are those for me too?" She licked a drop of smoothie from her lips and he had to will himself not to get a hard-on.

Like a simpering teen, he almost stammered. _Fucking pathetic_. "Yes. I see you have your own in your garden, but I hope you like these…"

Bang had gone the dominant thoughts of contracting her, controlling her and fucking the living daylights out of her in his playroom. Any notions he'd had of being the hunter were obsolete in that moment. In her presence he felt weak and in awe. His chest constricted with an odd twinge and he felt himself getting warm. Listening to himself he sounded like some Jane Austen inspired parody but he just couldn't seem to keep it together.

Throwing him a line, Rose took the posy and sniffed them shyly, the tiniest Mona Lisa smile playing on her lips. She looked to be equally as uncomfortable as he did except she was hesitant and still had that faint look of fear about her.

"It seems I'm not the only one making assumptions. They're beautiful...one of my favourites actually. Thank you again." She took another few pulls on her smoothie and then crouched down at his feet to stroke her dogs head.

The significance of her position was not lost on him and although he was feeling a little out of his depth, the pose was deeply gratifying to his baser male. Peering up at him with impossibly blue eyes he caught the flicker of something between them. She swallowed nervously and then looked away.

"It seems you have won Sawyer over Mr Grey...he's pretty picky about who he makes friends with."

_In for a penny...in for a pound as Grandpa T says_. "Call me Christian please…I'm hoping that a stroke behind the ears and a belly rub might have the same effect on his owner…"

He actually got a smile and small laugh for that and he mentally fist-pumped the air. Getting to her feet again, she looked ready to say something but thought better of it as she glanced to Kate and my brother.

"I need a shower." Once again he was ready with his charm offensive.

"Need some help?" A half huff, half whimper escaped her lips and he wondered if he'd pushed it too far. Elliot was always coming out with shit like that, but he supposed it was early days..._fuck he was terrible at this conversation with girls shit_.

"Er, no…" Well this was awkward. "Look, Mr Grey...Christian. I meant what I said before...I'm not looking to get into the kind of relationship that you er...must be into. I'm not your type."

That nervous, timid kitten was back and he was desperate to correct that. O.K., so he wanted her for a sub, but how could she assume that it would be so bad...she didn't know him and that was what he wanted to rectify.

"Rose look - you don't need to be afraid of me, I don't know why…" He glanced towards his brother and Kate who looked like they were having a hard time keeping it PG13. Kate looked up and gave him a wary glance and one to Rose that was girl code for 'are you O.K. or do you want me to kick this asshole out?'

"I don't really want to talk about this in front of people". Thankfully Rose seemed to agree and moved towards the door, turning to look back at her friend, she rolled her eyes and signaled for me to follow her.

"Come on, they'll be using the shower first so we've got time...let's get this over with."

He was eager to ask whether _they_ would be using the shower next but her comment about getting things over with deterred that. It sounded ominous, like he was going down..._and without his wing-man too._

* * *

_The usual Disclaimers about not owning the rights to the Trilogy stand._


	6. Chapter 6

Fade to Grey - Ch6

* * *

A/N: I'm so chuffed that you gals/guys are enjoying the story and I thank you for your great comments. To answer a few questions, no Ana is not going to rush into being a sub and there may be a little Ana/Kate lemon. There will be more of her time with Tomas and her escape - there's a bombshell mixed in with her situation there, which is on the tip of my tongue, but will have to wait for a later chapter!

Glad you're enjoying pics I've posted for it over on Pinterest. If anyone can offer help on sorting out my Wordpress page I'd be grateful. I can't work out that mess over there!

I have a couple of story recommendations if you're not already following them: Paging/Mending Dr Steele by Bronze Goddess and Slow and Steady by Mrs Fraser. Both so excellent I can only hope to be a fraction as good. Go check them out - both have Pinterest too.

AAx

* * *

Jogging in the park with Sawyer, the breeze gently cooling her warming skin was just the remedy she needed after the tension from earlier. The park was always fairly busy with other joggers and families out for some fresh air but there was one man there she was hoping to see.

As she reached the old whitewashed bandstand, she slowed and walked nearer to watch the elderly couples dancing to the melody of the quartet below. Ana loved the quaint pastime and smiled at how happy the couples looked as they enjoyed dancing together. Equally as amusing was the tête-à-tête Sawyer was having with his lady friend, a female Doberman by the name of Saskia.

Saskia's owner was 76-year-old retired lawyer Henry Fisher, a resident of Seattle all his life. He'd lost his wife to cancer after being together 52 years. They'd come to the bandstand each Saturday to reminisce about old times and he continued to come after she died five months ago. A few weeks after meeting, Henry told Rose about their forbidden love affair and elopement that resulted in his being cut off from his family. It was both romantic and tragic.

When they'd first met, it was like a scene from 101 Dalmatians. Ana had been jogging through the park when he bolted off to the side, dragging Ana with him towards another barking dog. The dog sounded in distress and Sawyer, always the hero, went to Saskia and Henry's aid. Henry had fallen over a tree root and subsequently scraped his hands as he landed awkwardly.

Sawyer being a medical service dog*, was only responding naturally to a cry of distress, albeit not hers. Her boy had been trained to be her companion dog when she started treatment on return to the US. Her therapist at the time had heard great things about dogs being ideal therapy for those who needed the emotional and physical support that only came from the caring for an animal. Having been diagnosed with an array of psychological disorders including PTSD, she was introverted and prone to panic attacks.

The effect that Sawyer had on her when she'd met him had been instantaneous. Sawyer was her lifeline and he knew her moods better than anybody - including Kate or her therapist. He was a bodyguard, a security blanket and her best friend. There were few places she couldn't or wouldn't take him - clubs of course because of the noise, but as she had a permit for a MHSD he was granted the same access as a guide dog for the blind. He was brilliant at calming her down and just his presence made her feel safe.

With his fantastic emotional skills also came those inherent in a dog - a great sense of smell. As he'd landed, Henry had also caught his knee and Sawyer nudged her hand towards the area before the blood had a chance to come through. Not being good with the sight of blood, Rose decided it best to get help, so she called 911 and within fifteen minutes, Henry was on his way to the emergency room for treatment. As Saskia wasn't a service dog, they wouldn't allow her in the ambulance so Rose offered to take her and follow in her car.

From then on, Rose and Henry became fast friends and the dogs started their romance. What she hadn't known at the time was that Henry was near enough blind and his sight was getting worse. He said to her that he knew her to be an angel just from the sound of her voice and that he trusted that he could leave Saskia with her and Sawyer.

She didn't have to let Henry know she was there due to the whimpering and slobbering coming from the doggie lovebirds by his side.

"Good day Angel, I was hoping to meet you here today." She bent down to give him a kiss on the cheek. The action never failed to make him blush. If she had a dollar for every time he said 'if I were 50 years younger…"

"Hello handsome, what's got you hoping?" She shook her head at the dogs that were calmer now but licking each other's faces. Yuk.

"Oh you know the usual. Goddamn paperwork. I got some papers I want changing...my will to be precise and I need a new attorney. You know anybody?"

"That's very forward thinking of you Henry. I do actually, he's the husband of a doctor friend of mine, and his name is Carrick Grey. He handles my legal stuff."

Rose realised that her world was a small place indeed. Carrick Grey was the husband of Grace Trevelyan-Grey, the doctor who first seen her when she was admitted to hospital in Seattle. When Kate learned that she knew Grace, she felt comfortable introducing her to Elliot and then there was Christian.

She did not want to think about Christian Grey right now. Here, with Henry it was a Christian free zone.

"You trust him? I don't trust lawyers…" He scoffed.

Ana had to laugh. "That's rich coming from a retired lawyer Henry Fisher and yes, I trust him. Want me to set up a meeting for you?"

"Meh...O.K. then doll, if he's got your vote then I suppose I'll meet him. Want to hear a good lawyer joke?"

He didn't wait for an answer, so Rose sat down in the deckchair he'd already got set up for her and started in on the bad jokes.

They sat for an hour telling jokes, watching the dogs larking around on the grass nearby and drinking tea from china teacups courtesy of the Belltown W.I who hosted the tea dances. If it wasn't for the fact that she needed to get back home and do some chores before Kate turned up, she would quite happily have stayed there longer.

She announced she was leaving and gave Henry and Saskia a hug before pulling a reluctant Sawyer away. Henry's chess buddy was coming to pick him up in a half hour, so she wasn't worried about him getting home.

* * *

Back home, she gave Sawyer a big bowl of water and wolfed down a ready-made salad from the deli nearby and then went to her desk. The chores weren't of the domestic kind, but of the paperwork kind that Henry had been moaning about. She had a tough time keeping track of all the business jargon and legal speak, but her investments and the headache that was her 'legal' situation was a necessity. She could call Carrick but didn't want to bother him on a Saturday out of business hours, and if she thought Henry could handle the grisly truth without having a coronary she'd confide in him, but thought better of it.

Ever since she'd been aware enough to enter back into the general populous, albeit with a changed name and a file on her past buried deeply within the Czech and US governments. It turned out that Tomas hadn't just been a retired psychologist and wealthy executive who fraternised with politicians and ambassadors. His business status came from a corrupt international import/export corporation that underhandedly dealt in human and drug trafficking rather than anything legitimate.

It hadn't surprised her when she learnt about it at the time. What he had done to her had only been the tip of the iceberg to his depravity and he'd openly admitted that to her. When he'd tamed his 'girls', he'd let them go knowing that he'd always have a hold over them and that they'd never talk of what was done to them. Like some vile snake charmer, he somehow got them all to love him and love what he did to them. It wasn't any different for Ana, except that he'd murdered her mother, so she was never going to be allowed to leave. He revelled in her fear that one day he would kill her too, but he never got his chance.

When the paperwork for the transference of her biological father, Ray Steele's estate to her had come through, she'd been shocked. She'd not heard her mother talk about her father and with everything going on in her life before Tomas, it hadn't occurred to her to find out about her biological father. She'd been too young, immature and naive to wonder about him. Carla had been married three times - the first to Ray Steele, whom she left as soon as she found out she was pregnant. Thinking it was the child of a guy named Stephen who she'd been having an affair with; she shacked up with him until they found out that she was pregnant with Ray's child and not his. The third was Bob Adams who she married when Rose was ten. Carla thought Bob was a keeper and he certainly loved keeping an eye on the prospect of reaping the rewards of Rose's talent.

Therefore, she went from Ana Steele to Anastasia Adams - because it was catchy her mother said. When her mother finally found enough time to spend with her daughter, she noticed her extraordinary talent and decided to exploit it. From the age of nine, she was enrolled in every musical or artistic extracurricular activity until going. Some years later, she had become one of the most accomplished young vocalists in the state, so when the musical director of her school asked her to travel with a group for an international exchange, it seemed the ideal opportunity. Whilst they were in Europe, her mother had arranged for her to attend a personal interview for the Conservatorio Giuseppe Verdi in Milan* where she'd been provisionally accepted.

Luckily for Carla and unfortunately for Bob, Carla caught him with his pants down during a lunchtime meeting with his secretary and that was goodbye to husband number three. That meant Carla was even freer to gallivant around the world with her talented daughter. Carla took every opportunity to feed off her daughters growing talent, prostituting Ana out like a commodity. Although her mother reverted to her maiden name, Anastasia Adams was just too catchy a name for her mother to alter.

She'd long got over her mothers death. The horror of it happening was the worst of at the time it happened. After that, resentment and blame festered and she lost the ability to grieve for the mother who was responsible for the cataclysmic events that followed her trip to Prague.

Shaking off the guilt that she should at least feel some sadness, she headed towards the bathroom, stripping off as she walked. A long indulgent bath later and she was feeling invigorated as the yummy mix of ginger, rosemary and mint enveloped her and improved her spirits. She'd be showering again later but at least didn't have to wash her hair again. Her hair was so long, it took ages to wash and forever to dry. Taking care of her it had become an obsession after not being able to do so in the past. Another shudder ran down her spine when she remembered why she treasured her hair so much and wouldn't let anyone cut it. She trimmed the ends regularly herself, but the thought of anyone coming near her with a pair of scissors sent her into a panic. Having your hair shorn like Fantine* would haunt her for the rest of her life.

She had a couple of hours to kill before Kate came, so she grabbed her phone and earbuds before she settled down outside with Sawyer for a nap. He in the sun on a patch of grass and her in her hammock strung between two silver birches in the shade. She'd never liked sunbathing and had always loved the phrase 'pale and interesting' - nobody could refute that so far, she'd led an 'interesting' life.

Remembering that she'd turned her phone off as a Christian Grey avoidance tactic, she warily turned it back on. With a relieved sigh, she saw that there was only a message from Jose to tell her he was joining them for their Zumba session and to rehearse a dance for her upcoming birthday party.

Ana loved Jose like a brother and he fussed over her like a mother hen. He looked every bit the hetero male, tall with bulging biceps, facial piercings and multitude of tattoos, but when he opened his mouth it was clear as day what team he batted for. As one of the most talented tattoo artists in the city, Jose had been recommended to her when she'd wanted to get her back covered. She'd sketched up the design and when Jose saw it, it he was so impressed with her design and detail that he commissioned her to do more. So, from painting for herself and selling the odd piece at galleries, her talent as a tattoo designer took off.

He'd taken nearly 2 weeks to complete her back, having to be especially careful as he was covering scars. They'd been greatly reduced initially by various treatments from chemical peels to steroids and, as she'd been young and her body was still developing, her age was a bonus to the healing process. Still, she hated them and even though they weren't so apparent, every time she looked in the mirror, all she saw was raw bloody skin. Hence why she got the tattoo of angels wings on her back. Once she got her wings, she could up and fly away from the memory. Cheesy, but it worked for her.

The brand on her wrist was too sensitive to completely get rid of but could be easily hidden by clothing or a wide cuff bracelet. Her feet were a different matter. She couldn't see them, but the scars were there and she felt them with every step. She'd not been able to sit for a tattoo as her feet were horrendously ticklish, but Jose came through once again with his suggestion of a henna tattoo. He designed a beautiful abstract template for the soles of her feet and every time she saw them it made her smile rather than frown.

It was a smile that she was wearing then, relieved that there hadn't been more charm offensive from Mr Grey. She hoped that he'd given up, having made herself perfectly clear in the messages. Selecting a mix of her favourite soothing arias, she gently rocked herself to sleep, hoping that the dreams would stay away this time.

* * *

Later on that afternoon, Elliot had dropped Kate and Jose off and they'd piled up to her studio and bounced around for a good hour to Pitbull and Shakira. Eventually Rose couldn't take it any more and hijacked the music for a dance mix of the Freemasons and David Guetta which was more her and Jose's style. Towards the end, they had been rolling around laughing at Kate's lack of coordination and so they gave up in order to practice their moves for her party.

Rose was turning 24 in a few weeks and had decided that she was going to throw her first birthday party in her apartment. She'd recently seen the Great Gatsby movie and loved the music, dancing and costumes, so wanted a 20's themed party. Kate was all too happy to oblige as dressing up and parties were right up her street. Jose didn't need an excuse; every day was a party to him. He and Kate had done the impossible and persuaded her it was time to dust off her vocal chords and sing for her friends. She wouldn't sing in public unless rip-roaring drunk or guilted severely to do it, but singing in the comfort and safety of her own apartment for people who were here friends? She could do that.

So Jose, in the spirit of making her feel as comfortable as possible, suggested they sing karaoke to the soundtrack of the movie she loved and he'd accompany her on vocals when needed. Rose was actually excited about the prospect of singing properly for the first time in about 9 years. Although popular music wasn't her forte, she still had a great voice for any type of music. Opera or choral had been her style when she was 15 and her voice was still developing. After several years of not practicing and exercising her vocal chords to their fullest, meant that pop was probably all she could manage. She missed singing her heart and lungs out immensely, but the memories of singing such a style were too painful for her.

Jose would try to encourage her to sing along with the divas on any dance track he had on, purposely butchering the vocals in order to get her to cut in. The first time she'd done it, he couldn't speak to her for a full ten minutes and that was a record for him. He said that she'd been hiding her voice under layers of sadness and insecurity for too long and it was time for her to come out of her dressing room and let the world - well, the circle of her friends - know how gifted she was. The flattery had been both embarrassing and confidence boosting. It had been a long time since she'd had such praise.

They'd got their tiny routine down in ten minutes when they were interrupted by laughing from the corner of the room. Turning to the sound, Rose couldn't believe her eyes. Standing in her studio, looking every inch the gorgeous suitor was Christian Grey. What was more unbelievable was the Judas at his feet. Guard dog - _what guard dog_?

She didn't know whether to be flattered or pissed off that he'd ignored her dismissal of him, but didn't quite get the chance before Jose sauntered over to introduce himself. No matter what the situation, that man would home in on the hot guys with his 'gaydar' set for a direct hit. Jose, unleashing his charm on an unsuspecting Mr Grey at least broke the ice a little.

Rose really didn't know what more she could say to the man and told him so before he could seduce her with his delicious smoothies and pretty flowers. She had to admit that as a peace offering, he'd done very well. The problem was, it was like a lion offering a gazelle a head start in a race to the death. It might slow down the chase but in the end, the weaker animal would suffer.

Sawyer, Kate, Jose and Elliot were no help, but if they'd truly thought her in danger or at risk of having a panic attack, she was sure they'd do something. As it was, she was only panicking on a scale of 4 out of 10. He was on her territory now and she felt much safer interacting with him in these circumstances, with witnesses.

She knew Jose would see himself out through the emergency exit at the top of the studio. His conversation seemed to be heated, so she left him to it. Normally Kate and Elliot would disappear off to use her shower before they left, but it looked like Elliot had other ideas as he started dragging her out of the door, her bag in his hand. With a look from Kate that asked if she was O.K., Rose nodded and waved them off. Therefore, that left Mr Grey.

_What was she going to do about this man?_

Feeling resigned to have to speak to him; she wondered what the hell it would take to put him off. Obediently he followed her to the sitting area, where she offered him a seat and went to put the flowers in water and get them some drinks. Even after finishing the smoothie, she was parched after working out and was sure her mouth would go dry with nerves pretty soon. The panic-o-meter's indicator was rising to a 6 now.

Quietly walking back to where he was seated, she couldn't help but think how at home he looked on her comfortable pink sofa. It was also a most unusual sight, a gorgeous hetero man relaxing in her home. She set the drinks down and looked at him whilst she gathered her thoughts. Her eyes narrowed as Sawyer jumped up on the couch and rested his chin on Christian's leg as if it was the most natural thing in the world. _ Hmm_.

Once she'd sat down, she didn't really know where to start. There was so much she wanted to say to scare him off and so much about him that wanted him to want _her_. It was an impossible situation and she wanted to tear her hair out at absurdity of it.

"I can almost hear your brain working over there…" The panty-melting smirk he was wearing forced her to regain her nerve.

"Why are you here? You said that I made assumptions about you and that you didn't know why I acted the way I did. Well, it seems that my assumptions were correct. I _know _what you want and I'm _not_ the girl to give it to you."

He narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips, an obvious sign that he was pissed at her argument. If an interrogation was his way of trying to win her over, he really needed to change his style. She'd be more likely to date Elliot with his inappropriate flirting and innuendo than him.

"What do you think I want from you Rose?"

He was baiting her now and it got her back up If it wasn't for the damn sexy look in his eyes she might have thrown her drink over him. Eyes locked they stared intently at each other. Instead of the strong voice she hoped to speak with, her reply was only a whisper.

"You want me...to be your submissive."

"_Yes_. Yes I do." He said huskily. There was so much longing...desire, in those words.

"I told you I'm not looking for anyone…" _Just leave me be to let me dream about you in the safety of my own mind_. She glanced towards the door in a gesture of wishful thinking.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I'm not looking to date either so we're in agreement there." An eyebrow raise joined the smirk.

Rose hated it when people interrupted. She had a feeling that he did that a lot. He was the type of person who had to have the first, middle and last word and that may be all well and good when you were some powerful exec, but this was 'normal' people talking here. _Sort of_.

"Then why, why ask me to dinner?" _What sort of game are you playing_?

"I don't play _games_...I'll be straight with you. I don't date - I work hard and I play harder...and by play I mean _fuck_."

_Shit_! She didn't mean to say that aloud. It took her a second to process his answer.

"You're _rude_. If you think that line is going to seduce me you're way off target Mr Grey."

He shrugged. "I thought you'd appreciate the honesty. The things I want to do to you Rose...you can't imagine." His eyes burned with desire.

"I don't get why you're so interested in _me_. Do I look like the kind of person who's into...what you're into?"

"You were in Dante's, so I assume you know the lifestyle." Smug. She wanted to slap that smile off his face.

"You know what they say about people who assume? 'You make an ass out of you and me…"

He looked at her with hooded eyes now; he was turned on and amused. She didn't understand why.

"Oh yes, you're perfect for me." _Perfect_?

"I know _perfectly _well what you want to do to me and I can assure you that I'm far from perfect."

Her low self-esteem had always bothered her and he wasn't doing much to boost that. His comments didn't make her feel pretty or cherished. They made her feel like an object. If he knew about all her other problems he'd run a minute mile.

"So what? You hoped to take me to dinner, seduce me with your fake charm and then take me back to your dungeon?"

"Your smart mouth is just making it _harder _to let you go Rose." He squirmed on the couch and she didn't know whether to be grossed out or flattered.

"To answer your question. Yes, more or less, it's not my normal way I'll admit but I had hoped." Rose was stunned. He really was a predator, but instead of him frightening her, he was appearing more and more like an arrogant ass.

_His normal way_. He did this often - it was 'normal' to him. She suddenly felt the most 'normal' person in the room - he was not used to anything else. The silence was so loud and she almost felt the need to fill it with chatter as he stared at her as if she were some enigma.

"You had a bad experience, as a submissive."

It was part question, part statement and she realised they were now at the travelling a path that she really didn't want to take. Talking to him about her history was not going to happen. He wasn't a friend and he wasn't her therapist.

"That's an understatement that I'm not prepared to talk about with you of all people. Look Christian, you're an attractive man, I'm sure there are plenty of women with little or no self-respect that will let you fuck and torture them."

"Thank you for the compliment, but none of them would be as amazing as you and me Rose. I'm very good to my subs and I do not torture... _wait a minute_ - you were _tortured?_" The tone of his voice 180'd from seductive to incredulous and that's when she realised she'd slipped up.

_Fuck! No...don't think about it, don't say anything_. Her heart started to race and she felt hot.

"I'd like you to leave now please." She blurted out. At her panicked tone, Sawyer perked up and sprang off the couch and onto the lap of his mistress.

"You seem shocked, but you met me in Dante's - it can't be that much of a surprise, what I want to do. Whatever happened to you before - it wouldn't be like that. I'm not a monster Rose - I want..._would really like_ the chance to show you how good it could be to be mine..._please_?" The please sounded unfamiliar on his lips.

He made his assumption that she must have experience, what with going to Dante's and she couldn't fault him for that she supposed. It did seem a mite bit hypocritical to slay him for his preferences, but it was the fact that he'd wanted to mislead her by taking her out to dinner and get his claws into her, that riled her. His assumption that her experience was something that could easily be wiped away with a mind-blowing fuck and the sting of a flogger was astounding.

'_Mine'_. He wanted her to be his..._his submissive_. To dominate, control, inflict pain upon, be his fuck toy. _She hated that term of ownership._

_An unpleasant memory of those words rose to the surface. A hot brand of TG on her wrist, the harsh words spoken - "You Are Mine". His laugh as she screamed as she screamed in agony. The memory of that scream sounded loud in her head. _

Through her narrowing tunnel vision she could just about make out that he'd sat forward on the couch and was reaching for her hand. The touch of his fingers on her wrist ignited a tingle that spread up her arm and over her body like wildfire. She jumped up and away from his touch, Sawyer on alert and now growling at Christian in defence of his mistress. Christian must've thought she was just overwhelmed by his proposition as he moved in to touch her again. Didn't this man know anything about personal boundaries?

"Rose, you wouldn't regret it. I could give you pleasure you'd never imagined."

"Why won't you leave me alone? Leave me alone…leave me alone!" She whined.

The panic was escalating and she felt her knees give way as the lack of oxygen started to take effect. She saw Sawyer dart off in her peripheral vision.

"Rose..._Rose_? Shit! What can I do? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Shh, shh." It seemed like the message finally had through as she vaguely made out Christians' own panic as he was on his knees too.

"Sawyer…" She called weakly, her vision spotting as she put her head between her knees.

She felt a paper bag being nudged into her hand and strong hands holding hers as she tried to open it up to her mouth.

"Breathe Rose...strong and steady...that's it." She didn't have the energy to fight him any more so allowed her weight to be held up by his arms.

"That's it...good girl. You're doing well." _I'm not...not good._

Time passed, she wasn't sure how long, but as she regained awareness, she realised that they were both on their knees facing each other. Christian had hold of her elbows and she was gripping his arms as if her life depended on it. She wanted to hang her head in shame, but found herself looking into his steely eyes in both disbelief and embarrassment. Disbelief that she'd allowed him to see her so raw after everything that just happened and embarrassment because even though he brought this on, she loved the feel of him holding her.

With that came hot tears that she just couldn't hold back. They were silent and she wished she could just disappear - that the ground would just open up and swallow her, so the man that she both feared and desired wouldn't notice how she couldn't let go. In a move she wasn't expecting he pulled her into his chest, but instead of pushing her way out, she fisted his soft sweater and let the waterworks continue.

His embrace was somewhat tense, but she felt comforted nonetheless. Comfort like this was rare as she'd only her few close friends to touch her this closely. She could feel him stroking her hair from crown to ends, slowly and rhythmically with the right amount of pressure to lull her. His smell was soothing too, from his masculine cologne to the fresh scent of his sweater. She frowned into his chest as she thought about how scared she'd been of him and here she was, in his hold and really, really liking it.

She felt the weight of Sawyers chin on her knee and pulled back slightly to look down at him gratefully as she unfisted one hand to ruffle his ear. "Good boy Sawyer."

"What about me?" A soft low voice whispered in her ear.

Sitting back on her haunches, his arms slipped away from her and rested on his knees. She wasn't sure what to say, she was so confused. How could he be so dominant and yet be so..._tender_.

"You're good too I suppose...and bad - _for me_. I can't be what you want Christian and you can't be what I need. You just saw what happened and I don't..._can't_ tell you why. I really don't know how we could be...together."

He reached up his hand slowly to her face and used his thumb to wipe away the tears still lingering on her lashes and she turned her face to his palm. His hands were so soft and she wondered how such soft hands could inflict such harsh pain and came to a realisation.

Christian must have his reasons for not dating and only getting involved with submissives - issues that caused him to need that kind of 'relationship'. Deciding not to speculate on his demons, she rose from the floor a little unsteadily and sat back down on the couch. He rose too and stood above her as she picked at her fingers.

"I don't do romance - the hearts and flowers thing, I really don't know how. I do know for sure that if I walk away from you now, I will regret it for a long time - possibly for the rest of my life. Whatever you've been through in the past, I'm truly sorry for that. Nevertheless, I'm not sorry for pursuing you Rose. You've had my attention from the first moment and I can't let you slip away so easily. So much so that however I can get you in my life - I want us to be..._something." _

Looking down at her knees, twisting her fingers wretchedly, she felt like this was a break up and they hadn't even started anything. His plea was niggling at her somewhere deep down - that recessed part of her that wanted the happy ever after, the romance...someone to love. She couldn't ever go back to the days where she was beaten. Beaten for her punishment and his pleasure. However, she couldn't deny that she was bone deep attracted to him and the knowledge that he felt the same attraction was so dangerously alluring.

"I'm flattered by your interest Christian but I can't and don't want to be anyone's submissive...the pain isn't something I could handle. You can't tell me that you're prepared to give that up for a girl who you barely know...a girl who has serious issues. Why would you waste your time...and mine?"

He was quiet for a moment and it started to unnerve her. Just as she was about to speak, he answered her.

"I usually research and plan, cross all the't's', dot all the 'i's' and know every single detail and so I'm prepared. Both in business and in my personal life. That went out the window when you walked into the club last night and since then, almost every minute I've thought about nothing but you. You're in my dreams; I want to be in yours. I want to take you to dinner and I want to lavish you with gifts. I want to fuck you in my bed, in my car, on my desk _and _tied up in my playroom, I want to spank you and I want all your pleasure, your pain and your attention. I want to be all you think about every minute of the day and night." Rose was stunned silent.

"If I believed that I could be in love, _be loved_ then I'd swear that meeting you was my 'love at first sight' moment. It's the only reason I can explain why I want this so badly...why I'd waste my time as you put it."

Love her? _Seriously_? All the stuff he said - what he wanted was unbelievable. She supposed that if she hadn't gone through what she had with Tomas, if she was a normal girl then she'd be flattered to hell.

At some point during his speech, he'd sat down next to her and was looking at her as if she was the only girl in the world. What was she to _do…_._say_?

"How can you say those things, say you feel like that? I'm damaged Christian, inside and out - I have problems you couldn't imagine. How can you…"

Before she could finish her sentence, he had hold of her chin and was kissing her with a gentleness that stunned her. She froze, his lips still moving corner to corner, upper lip to lower lip. Their eyes were open, hers because she was shocked and his, probably to gauge her reaction.

Pulling back from her lips, he rested his forehead against hers. "Trust me. Take a chance...you won't regret it."

His plea sounded so heartfelt that Rose found herself in the position where she couldn't find any more excuses not to give him a chance. She wanted to give herself the chance too and not push him away. She was terrified and exhilarated at the prospect. She'd yearned for the prospect of a relationship and if he could cope with her darkness, then perhaps she could cope with some of his.

Nervously she answered. "Yes."

A smile grew and grew on his face and he kissed her again. This time she reciprocated, slowly at first but after a minute, her hands were in his hair and his either side of her face and they were kissing deeply. This essentially was her first kiss - with a man. Tomas never kissed her. Kate had been her first ever full on kiss and it had only happened because they were drunk.

The more they kissed, the more Rose felt the desire well up inside her and the fear fade. She didn't want to take things further for now, as being kissed was enough emotional overload for her poor tormented soul. They came apart naturally and she gave him a genuine smile. She felt as if she'd passed a test and leaped a hurdle.

She only hoped that he'd be satisfied with taking it slow and not want her to jump through hoops any time soon. If he were prepared to change a little, then so was she and she'd try her hardest to overcome whatever obstacles got in their way.

Sawyer had started to whine and when she glanced at the clock, she realised that it was late and he needed his chow. Not needing a cue, Christian stood and offered his hand to Rose. He looked like the cat that got the cream and she realised she liked being the cause of that. But now it was time for him to go. Walking to the door, she opened it and saw that he looked as unhappy as she did at the prospect of him leaving.

He lifted her hand to his lips kissed her knuckles gently. "I'm not saying goodbye."

"O.K. then." It had been a long time since she'd felt shy, but she was feeling it now. The way he looked at her was just so… She sighed, feeling that butterflies jitter that girls got when a gorgeous boy gave her 'the look'.

As he walked through the door he released her hand reluctantly, but turned back to her and gave her a soft smile.

"Laters baby." He winked and turned on his heel. She smiled at his words and watched him all the way to the lobby where he hesitated and looked back before leaving.

She closed the door and slid down its surface before bursting into tears again. They were tears of relief and of joy. The panic attack aside, she'd overcome a huge demon today. Both in the sense of her fears and of Christian Grey himself. He'd not wanted to give her up; he'd persevered and that made her inner goddess do a jig in her tummy.

However, as always, her subconscious - her voice of reason rained on her parade as it accused.

_What have you gotten yourself into Rose?_

* * *

UPDATE: A few reviewers have commented that Ana/Rose gave in, but please be reassured that she did **not** agree to be his sub. They agreed to be 'something' - something they both could accept.

* Fantine is a tragic character from the book/play Les Miserable's. She is poverty stricken and had her hair shorn in to pay for clothes for her child. The shame and despair she feels at this degradation is too much for her to bear.

*Service dogs for those who suffer from PTSD etc. Link on my bio

* Conservatorio Giuseppe Verdi in Milan link on my bio

Zumba music on my Pinterest page.


	7. Chapter 7

Fade to 'Grey - Ch7

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A/N: Once again thank you for your reviews and follows, I'm pleased you're enjoying the direction this is going in.

I wanted to address the point about Ana/Rose, becoming a sub. SHE'S NOT - that would be reckless in her state of mind, but if she didn't take a leap then there wouldn't be a story. She and Christian have agreed to compromise and take a route they both are new to. I'm not saying that there won't be kinky fuckery, but it'll be totally enjoyable to Rose and not anything like she's experienced before. The same goes for CG, he'll be having sex like never before too.

This chapter is lighter and shorter, but I've another already in the works that'll be a couple of days. Check out Pinterest for her outfit and the food/wine and music.

Fingers crossed you like. Fingers, toes and eyes crossed you like so much you review ;-)

AAx

* * *

Christian was elated.

He'd been given a chance with this beautiful angel and he was determined not to fuck it up. It would take some herculean effort at restraint considering he'd never had a vanilla relationship, but she seemed to be on the same page as he did. Something unspoken told him that she hadn't either and although he really wanted to know why, it wasn't an impediment in his eyes.

They'd learn together.

Elliot had already left so he jumped into the car that Taylor had waiting at the curb and sped off towards his part of the city. Even though he'd only left her apartment minutes ago, the compulsion to send her a message was irresistible.

***You've made me a very happy man Miss Steele***

He hit send and off it went into the ether. Fifteen minutes later and he'd still not had a reply - he wasn't good with waiting, so texted again.

***It would make me even happier to hear from you though…***

Wary that he sounded needy, he scanned through some emails in order to take his mind of the lack of response. She couldn't have changed her mind already could she? After all, she'd done it once already…

He puffed out an exasperated breath that caused Taylor to look at him and frown, but he ignored him. If Rose was going to be his, he needed her to answer him promptly. Stressing this would be difficult seeing as she wasn't technically his sub and he couldn't implement punishment for lack of communication.

Taylor slowed to pull into the underground parking garage and he was out of the car before it had stopped. He felt wound up with anticipation at Rose's reply, so much so that he had an excess of nervous energy to burn off. On any other weekend he would have taken that out on his sub, but seeing as he was trying something new, he'd have to make do with a spar in the gym with Taylor before relieving himself in the shower.

Once in the elevator, he checked his phone again and damn near threw it at the mirrored wall in frustration. A few tense seconds later, he and Taylor walked into the entrance hall of his penthouse.

"Meet me in the gym in 5 Taylor." It wasn't a request, but Taylor knew him well enough not question him as he gave his curt reply.

"Yes Sir."

It was during his spar with Taylor, in which he was getting his ass handed to him due to lack of focus, which his phone beeped off to the side of the room. Like a pussy-whipped fool, he left Taylor mid swing to dash to check it, not missing the smirk from him. _He'd pay for that. _

It was hard to hide his grin when he saw it was from Rose.

***You're easy to please...impatient much?***

Ignoring the fact that Taylor was waiting for him he returned the text straight away. He wanted to keep her engaged and so she didn't have the opportunity to dwell on whatever negative thoughts she harboured still.

***Just being around you pleases me...I'm not good at waiting. What are you doing tonight?***

He seemed to have her attention as she replied straight away.

***That's sweet. Sawyer and I were in the shower. Dinner and then bed early - I don't sleep well***

He supposed there was a first time for everything, but sweet had never been a word to describe him before. The thought of her in the shower with her dog was weird, but that led him down mental pathways that had him hoping he'd get to replace Sawyer next time. Bed early - on a Saturday night? The not sleeping part resonated with him though. Perhaps she had nightmares as he did? He managed to exist on broken sleep most nights, but supposed she was at leisure to sleep whenever she liked. From the tiny amount of information he'd gleaned from Elliot, she wasn't very social, so nights like Friday mustn't be the norm. He didn't' want to push his luck but a little flirting over the airwaves couldn't hurt.

***Never been called sweet b4. U shower with your dog? Lucky Sawyer! I know a great remedy for a good nights sleep ;-)***

He realised too late that he'd resorted to putting silly faces at the end of a message like Mia did, but it was the only way he could make the message sound less intimidating.

***Are you sexting me Mr Grey?* **

The grin got wider as he realised that she might actually play along. Deciding to dismiss Taylor for the time being, seeing as the reason for his angst was now playing ball, he lazily made his way back upstairs. He threw himself down on his couch to resume this little game of cat and mouse they'd started, but was put off momentarily by discovering that Elliot was right - his couch was like lying on rocks.

***I wouldn't dream of it Miss Steele...that is unless you want me to?* **

He'd never had such a conversation by text in his life, but found that he was unfathomably excited by the prospect.

***I'm a stranger to it...enlighten me?***

Holy fuck she was playing along and he was going to make sure he milked this. It was the most interaction he'd had with her so far and she seemed relaxed this way. He wondered if she were just nervous in his company - he'd have to work on that.

***Normally it starts with what you're wearing and whether you're thinking of me?***

He might be a novice at this but it he knew where he wanted this conversation to go.

***LOL! So predictable but I'll play. Nothing and maybe…***

Fuck, she was naked and possibly thinking about him, he rubbed himself at the thought. Perhaps he'd make use of the Facetime app and see for himself, but he liked this banter just a little too much for the minute.

***I'd like to see that. Good thoughts I hope?***

The screen showed that she was typing and it seemed to take forever for the message to appear. Maybe she was typing a lot and hoped that she wasn't getting cold feet.

***I'm not sure I'm ready for you to see me naked yet - too shy. I was thinking that you're not as scary as I first thought and hoped that you wouldn't prove me wrong***

He'd have to work on her shyness and wondered what on earth she could be so shy about. She was warming up this conversation on her own, so perhaps there was hope that she'd warm up physically too.

***Baby I'm imagining you naked right now so theoretically I've already seen you in my head. Pleased you're not scared :-)***

Instead of waiting for a reply, he decided to Facetime and see whether she had the nerve to pick up. It rang four times and then her face appeared.

"You're very bad Mr Grey. If you think that I'm moving this screen from my face you're sorely mistaken."

Her hair was damp and was slightly curlier than he had seen it before. She was smiling coquettishly, the shyness causing her to blush - he loved that blush, it was the single most innocent and alluring thing he'd ever seen. It wasn't just though blushes on her face he wanted to see though. Ones on pert ass cheeks caused by his hand were a major turn on for him.

He could see in the background that she was in front of her fireplace, which was set with a roaring fire. Earlier on, he'd seen the inviting fireplace in her sitting area and that there was a soft rug in front. It looked much more inviting that the fireplace in his penthouse.

"Such a tease Miss Steele. Naked in front of the fire, your hair all tousled...that's so sexy baby."

She smiled and fluffed her hair a little, the screen moved and he got a glimpse of bare shoulder all the way down to the top of her cleavage, but not quite far enough for his liking.

"I like to dry my hair in front of the fire sometimes, it goes a little curly but it's nice and soft when I leave it to dry like this. I like the warmth of the fire...I _hate _being cold. Moreover, s_exy_, _me_? I don't think so Christian."

"Fuck Rose...when you say my name with the word sexy I have trouble staying coherent...er, what did you just say? See you scramble my brain with your sexiness."

Being so playful with a woman was a complete novelty and with Rose, he loved it, especially after their disastrous start. Elliot would have a field day if he knew.

She rolled her eyes at him and his palm twitched at the thought of spanking her. He _hated _that even more than the annoying saying of 'whatever', when somebody couldn't think of an intelligent retort. He thought about how his subs would have had a good spanking for daring to roll their eyes, not that it ever happened, as they knew better. It was actually refreshing to be with someone who dared to push his buttons.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me Miss Steele? I might have to come back there and warm that bottom of yours up with the palm of my hand…"

A flicker of confusion and then apprehension crossed her face. "You'd spank me for rolling my eyes at you? Really?"

Wanting to tread carefully and not scare her again, he thought it best to balance honesty with subtle flirting.

"Yes." His reply hung on the air as they stared at each other through the screens of their phones.

"Why?" She asked, her voice barely audible

"Because I don't tolerate rudeness or insolence in my…" He hesitated, almost slipping up and calling her his sub. She wasn't his sub and the way she made him feel and his need to protect her vulnerability, he doubted she ever would be. Choosing his next words carefully, he continued.

"_Lover_. Bending you over my knee, bare ass in the air...I'd spank it then kiss it better."

She was biting her lip again which he took as a good sign, even though it was very distracting. She didn't look scared of the prospect of a possible spanking, but her silence was making him nervous nonetheless.

"Say something Rose…"

She looked almost embarrassed, "I've never been spanked by hand...or kissed on my bottom for that matter."

He was surprised at her answer. She'd been in an 'alternative' relationship before and he understood that it didn't turn out well, but never been spanked by hand? He had to know more about what sort of experience she had. She'd mentioned before about being tortured and that made his blood run cold, but now wasn't the time to delve deeper or lose it over some fucker in her past. It would spoil the mood as at the moment it could tip either way.

Completely unaware that she was teasing him, she moved to lay flat on the rug with her head on a fluffy cushion and he got another tantalising glimpse of creamy flesh. Fuck, she looked gorgeous with her hair fanned out messily around her on the blanket. He really wanted to be there with her.

"That's not the only part of you I'd like to kiss…" Again, her response pleased him as she smiled shyly.

"I liked our kiss before...I've never been kissed like that by a man."

Now if he was surprised before, he was shocked now. Not just because she'd said she'd enjoyed their kiss - a positive to him, but the revelation that a beautiful woman in her early twenties had never been kissed by a man before. It was hard not to focus on the hint that a girl had kissed her like that, but he couldn't help himself. Elliot had mentioned that she and Kate…

"Never by a man - really? A teenage boyfriend - surely?" He wasn't sure he wanted to hear her confess the real truth as irrational jealousy took hold.

"I was too busy to have boyfriends as a teenager and then…" Her eyes shifted as if remembering something unpleasant, before resuming her thread. "Then...I'm embarrassed to admit this to you, but my first kiss was with Kate."

Her face screwed up and an adorable blush was evident even in the dim light. So, he was the first man she'd kissed. The barely concealed caveman in him was beating his chest as he relished the thought that he'd been her first kiss. His Flynn-like subconscious reminded him that that she'd been his first proper kiss too. The kisses from Elena he didn't count; there was nothing tender or emotional about that time with her all those years ago, so he wiped those thought away.

"As much as I feel I should be joining the rest of the male population who'd now be pumping you for details...I'm not Elliot, so I'll just say 'okay'. I'm more interested in pumping you in a different way."

That earned him another eye roll and a groan. His eyes flashed with the thought of another spanking to carry out.

"That was _so _cheesy. I should be scared of that look in your eye, knowing I just rolled my eyes again...but _come on_ Christian that was an awful line!"

He laughed aloud at her teasing, happy for once to be object of mirth. He was never one to crack jokes or be crude usually, but making Rose lighten up was his new objective - as well as the obvious of course. He wouldn't miss the opportunity to indulge his baser desires, even playful verbal sparring.

"After hearing Elliot's pick up lines for so long, it rubs off on you, you know?" He winked at the double entendre. "It's nice to hear you laugh...I want to hear that more often - almost as much as I want to hear you scream my name."

"Stop! You're incorrigible!" She threw her head back laughing and hell, if that didn't turn him on more. She looked like she was in the throes of passion and he imagined his head buried between her legs.

A moan escaped as he imagined her there naked in the firelight and it caused her to look back to the camera, which she'd pressed to her skin. All he could see now was blurry pale pink. He was desperate to see her even more than before and hoped that she'd let him come back over.

"Rose?" She panned the camera up and it focussed back on her pretty face. "Have you eaten yet? I owe you a dinner date you know."

She cocked her head thoughtfully. "I was going to cook something very soon. If you promised to be good, would you...would you like to join me?"

Hell yes! "I thought you'd never ask. Are you sure?"

Nodding her head, she replied. "Yes - yes I am. Talking to you tonight, like this over the phone? It's nice. If you come here, I have Sawyer if you step out of line."

Her eyes were playful as she threatened to set her Doberman on him if he went too far. Already he felt invested in her safety and comfort, so was pleased that she had Sawyer. If he had his way, she'd have her own security officer, but contemplated that she might not take that well. It was something to address a little further down the line. He wondered if she'd let him indulge his generous side. She didn't seem the type of woman to be preoccupied with wealth, in particular his wealth. Her home was spacious, comfortable and decorated in a way that made you feel you could kick back and relax - even though there was an awful lot of pink. She dressed well, with a style that was all her own and not overdone. She wasn't a slave to fashion - like Mia. She had a quirky, edgy style that was so different to the preened, flawless mannequins he was surrounded by in his everyday life. Rose was a natural beauty and one of a kind.

The comment made him smile. "You feel safer talking with me on the phone - and with Sawyer present? Do I still scare you?"

"I'd be lying if I said that I didn't find you intimidating even still, but talking with the distance between us like that has...helped. You're funny and I didn't expect that - I'm warming to you slowly. I don't expect you to understand and maybe one day I'll tell you why." She hesitated before a big grin lit up her face.

"Besides, Sawyer would eat your pretty face off if you so much as lay a finger on me and I didn't want you to."

"I'm flattered you think I'm pretty. I'm actually glad that you have Sawyer otherwise I'd be worried about you all the time, even if he gets to see you in the shower and I don't. Already I feel protective over you Rose."

She gave him a warm smile, which told him he'd said exactly the right thing.

"More sweet talk Mr Grey? I like that you're O.K. with him. I'd not felt safe for a long time until I got him - he's my lifeline."

Christian felt a twinge of jealousy for a moment, not being the centre of her universe. How could it be that `he cared so much about her needing him like that? They'd known each other barely 24 hours - it was crazy.

He nodded in agreement. Seeing how Sawyer reacted when she panicked before was amazing. He'd known exactly what to do and just his touch calmed her, even though Christian had been holding her too. In hindsight, perhaps he'd come on a bit strong. Never having had a problem with pushing for what he wanted before, it was a revelation to him that he'd caused her to react like that. A wash of shame ran down his spine.

For an intelligent man he could sure be dumb sometimes. He'd seen that there was something delicate about her, hell even Elliot had told him, but he'd just focussed on the prize like the predator that he was. _Like the monster he was_.

He thought about his own reactions to people touching him when he was so obviously closed off. Intimacy, even from his own family, was a big 'NO NO'. With Elliot and Mia, he'd been able to lark around with the odd shove and poke but never had he hugged or kissed them. Not even with his mother or father.

Getting back to the present, he told her he'd see her in 20 minutes and that he hoped she'd be cooking naked, which luckily earned him a laugh and a 'dream on'. Little did she know how much she'd focussed in his dreams this past day.

Changing back into his dark jeans and t-shirt this time, he threw his leather jacket over his shoulder ready to head out. Just as he reached the elevator, he remembered he needed to take something as a guest, he doubled back and grabbed two bottles of wine from the kitchen wine store.

As much as he loved being in control, keeping with routine and cross checking everything, he enjoyed the fact that he was having a spur of the moment night out. He was having dinner with a beautiful woman, in _her _apartment. Control of the evening was over to her. He didn't know what food they'd be eating, whether she liked red or white wine, whether she'd let him kiss her again, or whether he'd be welcome to stay the night.

For once in his life, the thought of the unknown folding out before him was a welcome change.

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the FSOG Trilogy. Just playing with the characters.


	8. Chapter 8

Fade to Grey - Ch8

A/N: All your great comments give me a fantastic boost - thank you so much. I'm sorry for not replying to everyone, or getting this out earlier (sorry Mirasmommy), but due to a brief period of sunshine in the UK these last several days I've been out and about. We have to make the most of it!

Thank you too to those who are following on Pinterest - the food mentioned and Rose's outfit are on there.

Things are heating up on a slow burn for our couple and not just in the culinary sense. Ch9 will have CG's POV of this chapter and the rest of the night. A hint of how the night turns out in Ch9 is on there too.

Enjoy and please let me know what you think.

AAx

* * *

Once she had stopped being such an emotional mess, Rose rubbed her eyes, picked herself up and went straight to the one place she could vent without that inevitable face to face interaction she tried to avoid. _Her blog_.

Maybe it would help her make sense of the roiling sea of emotions that she was feeling. She supposed could talk to Kate, but Kate would read it on her blog anyway and then call her up to dissect her words. It would work better that way, as regardless of the confidante she had in Kate, she didn't want to disturb her time with Elliot. Kate had had her fair share of shitty relationships, but Elliot seemed like the real thing this time and she wanted to support that in any way she could. Even if that meant less time leaning on her friend.

Remembering that she needed to shower first, she called Sawyer to come in from the garden. As he scurried in looking sheepish and wearing mud booties, she realised the beast had been digging in her flowerbeds again.

"Stop right there mister!" She intoned sternly, her hand up in the stop motion before he traipsed mud further onto the floor. Not having the heart to scold him due to his more than guilty expression, she shook her head in lament of what she'd find in her garden. He'd need a shower too now.

The fact that he _loved _getting in the shower made it easier for her to get him in her wet room, even if carrying the great lump all the way was like lifting a sack of rocks. All that lean muscle made her boy one hunk of a dog. Once she'd put him down and turned on the large waterfall showerhead and wall jets, she stripped and watched him as he jumped around snapping at the spray. Once he'd had his excitement, she commanded him to sit and he obediently sat sphinx like as she rubbed doggy shampoo into his feet.

Rose stepped out after turning the shower off and grabbed a towel for herself and one for the hound, rubbing him dry and giving him a kiss on the head when he was done. Sawyer had run off to settle himself down in front of the fire, so she wrapped a cashmere blanket round herself and went to join Sawyer by the fire to dry her hair. Grabbing her iPad to post a quick update, she wondered what her blog followers would think of her mad day. Who would think she was being an utter idiot for considering Christian? Would the romantics think his attention to her was swoon worthy?

Before she could log on to her blog, her phone beeped telling her she had a message. It was Kate checking she was O.K. after they'd left, so she banged out a quick 'fine' message with a promise to catch up later. She noticed that she'd gotten a message from Christian too; he'd sent her a message only a few minutes after leaving and she couldn't help the smile that formed. She'd reply to him when she'd updated and hoped that keeping him hanging didn't make her seem too aloof.

* * *

_Ragged Rose's blog: Saturday October 10th 2013;6.55pm_

_A LOT has happened in 15 hours. I had a nightmare about Luka* for the first time in ages and was so freaked out that I cancelled the date with Mr Dom. _

_The similarities in how they made me feel were just too close for comfort, but as usual, I may have overreacted. I realised that it really is flattering to have somebody want you so much, in such an intense way. With Luka it was a different kind of intense - a different kind of want. There was no suggestion of pleasure that wasn't his. _

_This guy, he's intense to the point that I don't know whether I'm coming or going. He's so breathtakingly gorgeous, with a tormented soul just as dark as mine. He hasn't said so, but I can see it and it both frightens and intrigues me. _

_He turned up at my place unexpectedly due to a mutual acquaintance and I was angry and frustrated that he wouldn't just leave me alone. I'd asked him to, so for him to keep persisting made me feel dominated all over again - like prey. I never want to feel so out of control of my own body like that again. However, he came bearing gifts along with his arrogance, so like the pushover that I am, couldn't resist the peace offering of flowers and a smoothie. My favourite too! _

_We talked and it got intense and inevitably he said something that sparked a bad memory in me and I had a panic attack. Sawyer was there to help of course, but then the unbelievable happened - I let this man who is a contradiction of tyrant and prince charming - comfort me. It frightened him as much as me I think. He held me and I cried -it was the best feeling I've ever had. I could tell that it was new to him, this level of compassion and being what he was - it was probably very out of character for him. I think because it was novel to both of us it just felt right._

_I've never felt so wanted than in his arms earlier today. We agreed to see each other and see what happens but I will not be his sub and he knows that. I can't imagine for a minute that he'll completely give it up, but if he's prepared to compromise his lifestyle then I can too I suppose. The thought of suffering pain for someone else's pleasure makes me nauseous, but I know from what I've found out since my experience, that there can also be pleasure in submission and a little kink. You know how I feel about the fact that I came to welcome the pain from my time with Luka*. It was the way I coped with the desolation I felt then. Feeling something more overwhelming than the degradation and violation that happened to me, and the thought that I was never going to live my life how I dreamed. _

_When I felt the pain, I welcomed its ability to transport me to another place. A place deep inside my mind where I felt free. In my mind I saw myself as a bird flying from the castle, soaring and swooping through the turrets and archways, over the forests, villages, cities and the vast ocean that separates Europe and America - all the way back home._

_For a brief moment, I did wonder what it would feel like to offer my submission to someone in return for pleasure and not pain. He said he could make me feel things I'd never experienced before. For another moment, I wondered whether that meant love too. I'm not sure that this man is capable of love, but I'm equally as unsure although I want it. _

_Hold on - I've got a message from 'him'..._

_I just had a text/facetime conversation with Mr Dom just now that gave me hope. He was playful, flirty and so unbelievably sexy. We laughed and joked and he teased me until I just couldn't be scared of him any more. He may be serious and dominating, but there's a wicked sense of humour buried under that complex indomitable persona._

_Even more shockingly, after the breakdown earlier in the day, I invited him back over for supper. I know what you're thinking - is she crazy? That's debatable but I have to say that I have a good feeling about this._

_I think I'm changing and I'm scared and excited to feel wanted and desired. You don't know what's out there unless you try, right?_

_Goodnight friends - got dinner to cook for a gorgeous man…_

_RRx_

* * *

During her typing, her phone had beeped again, so she took a second to check it. He'd tried again, obviously getting impatient at not having an instant reply - _control freak or what_? Deciding to put him out of his misery, she texted him back. Texting was far less intimidating and was nice and safe - she could do this.

She teased him about his lack of patience and they bantered a little. Not wanting to tell him about the blog, she fessed up to taking a shower with Sawyer which he found very amusing. Their conversation was flirty and light-hearted but when he switched to Facetime her instead, she panicked and hesitated. She was completely naked but for the blanket that hung off her shoulders, but if she kept the camera above her shoulders, he wouldn't see anything she wasn't ready to show.

Their chat was going well until he teased that he would spank her for rolling her eyes. She was unsure about how to feel about that. A large part of her recoiled at the thought of pain being inflicted, but that small deep but rising deviant side of her that had enjoyed it (even for her own justification), couldn't help but be a little turned on. The thought turned from uncertainty to a yearning naughtiness that just simmered beneath the surface. He had a way with words that was for sure. The talent he had for innuendo and seduction was impressive and she was falling for it, _big time_.

Something about his face, those eyes and the sincerity of his words gave her the confidence to trust in him earlier and now she wanted to test that trust. He'd managed to turn the fear she felt for him into something that she could work with. His naughty sense of humour lightened his scary dominant side; a light-hearted side that she was sure didn't come out that often. It was similar to Elliot's but edgier, darker. During their conversation, a slow burning desire warmed her deeply in her core. She welcomed the feeling, knowing that she could feel this way and that she didn't have to compare every man she met to Tomas. That's what her therapist had said repeatedly. So, taking a leap she invited him for supper.

Therefore, here she was with 20 minutes before he arrived and she was naked and not a scrap of anything cooking. Quickly she found a recipe on her Jamie Oliver app that only took 15 minutes, so she dashed to her bedroom to put on something comfortable quick sharp. Her hair up and held in place with ornate chopsticks, she'd chosen a creamy angora off shoulder sweater dress and over-knee socks. It was just the right mix of sexy and comfortable that she would have worn anyway - a 'take me as I am' kind of outfit. However, she knew better than to say that to Christian, as he would most definitely make naughty out of it.

Dashing to the kitchen, she set up her iPad for the recipes she wanted. Loving everything the cheeky British chef cooked she'd downloaded his app and was trying out recipes on Kate and Jose until now. Christian would be the guinea pig for this recipe that she was going to make herself tonight. She had enough for herself with leftovers when she'd been to the deli the day before, so she had plenty for the both of them and some other stuff in the refrigerator to add to it.

Rummaging around her crowded refrigerator, she grabbed the box of camembert along with the ready-made lemon and mint couscous and lastly, a rocket and beetroot salad. She popped the cheese whole in the box into her oven to bake. It would be warm and creamy spread on warm rosemary foccacia as a starter. Luckily, the main was very quick and would be ready to eat when her guest got here.

Christian was the first man she'd cooked for that she wanted to impress. She'd cooked for Jose and Elliot before, but that was different, as she didn't feel the need to impress either of them. Jose was eager to try anything new and Elliot - he'd eat roadkill if it looked edible. She wanted to impress to Christian that she wasn't a complete mess and that she could do something good. Maybe she'd show him her paintings too…but perhaps that sounded a bit too much like a pick up. _Come up to my studio to see my etchings...the bedroom was that way too._

Getting back to their dinner, she brushed the harissa marinade on a dozen sardines and flash fried them. If the weather was warmer, she'd have popped them on the outside grill in her chiminea but the evenings were getting chillier now. Multi-tasking, she grabbed a lemon and chopped it in half, adding it to the pan to caramelize on one side.

Just as she was taking the sardines off the heat, her buzzer went and she practically ran and slid across the floor to the entryphone. Seeing Christian waiting in the lobby, a goofy smile on his face, she felt a flush of anticipation like a giddy schoolgirl. She pressed the button answer.

"Knock knock." He joked, causing her to laugh.

"Er...who's there?" She asked, playing along.

"Boo." _Huh?_

"Boo who?" She rolled her eyes, realising what she'd just fallen into.

"Don't cry, I'm here now baby." She couldn't help the small laugh that escaped at his face. He was trying hard not to laugh at how stupid the joke was, oblivious to the fact that this behaviour was exactly what made tonight possible.

Buzzing the lock she invited him in and met him at the door to her apartment, Sawyer darting through her legs to get to him first. Boy, that dog was smitten. Christian struggled to hold his cargo as he tried to fuss Sawyer without being knocked over.

"Hey Sawyer."

"Hi. Come on Sawyer, let the man in." She shooed her overexcited dog inside.

"Good Evening Rose." He reached for her hand, kissing the knuckles tenderly. It was definitely swoon-worthy.

"Sorry about the terrible joke, you bring it out in me." A wink accompanied the kiss. _Cheeky_...

"I daren't ask...It's something we have in common though - terrible jokes. I'm not really one for telling them either, its a torture I choose not to inflict on people…"

"Ooh, that's harsh Miss Steele - it wasn't that bad." He rolled his eyes dramatically.

"Talking of inflicting things. Who spanks you when you roll your eyes? Don't think I didn't see that Mr Grey…"

_Touché Mr Grey!_

He'd licked his lips and narrowed his eyes before replying, obviously contemplating some witty retort. She was not expecting his reply though and she chased a thrill all through her body when he admitted it.

"I might let you if you if you ask nicely…" Now that was an offer she could get on board with!

_Where had that come from?_ Never, _ever _had she contemplated the idea of inflicting pain on another, but after their earlier conversation about him spanking her, she couldn't get the image out of her mind. The idea that he, the consummate dominant would allow her control to spank him was thrilling - even if it was just said in jest. She wouldn't, in a million years, want to hurt him the way he knows or worse, but to have him offer his trust in her control was a powerful aphrodisiac.

He'd barely got through the door and already she was having erotic thoughts about him. _Fuck_, what was happening to her? Now that the door to her libido was unlocked, whatever delicious pleasures might be revealed, she wanted them. She wanted to throw that door wide open and never shut it.

Biting her lip, she decided to indulge him. "I might just take you up on that." Before he could answer, she pulled him by the hem of his sweater to the kitchen, inadvertently brushing the bare skin of his taut stomach. When she looked back, his eyes flashed with unconcealed desire as he moved closer, arms full but nonetheless intimidating. Her breathing hitched as he got close enough to whisper in her ear.

"What a smart mouth you have Miss Steele..._I love it._" His breath was tantalizingly close that she could feel its warmth on the surface of her skin. She felt herself tilt her head reflexively as he teased her with his closeness.

A huff and a whine broke the spell as Sawyer reminded them of his presence. With a wicked smile, Christian pulled back and offered the contents of his arms.

"I think we'll have to save this conversation for later. Here, I brought wine - I wasn't sure whether you liked red or white so I chose both and…" Rose took the wine and put it down on the counter-top.

"And these are for you too." He produced another bunch of gorgeous flowers, purple freesias this time.

She held them up to her nose, inhaling the pungent sweet scent. Freesias were such a feel good flower; their scent was just so uplifting. "Thank you, they're lovely. Thanks for the wine too, I have to admit to knowing _nothing_ about wine - I only have beer and spirits."

"Well, consider me your teacher. I happen to know a lot about wine, in fact I own a vineyard in California - the white is from there." He shrugged it off as if it were nothing. She wasn't quite sure if it was bragging in his voice or just a vulnerable need to impress. She settled on the latter and was indeed, impressed.

"That's amazing, I hope you'll tell me more about it over dinner? Consider me your pupil: I warn you, I'm horribly uneducated."

She'd moved away to start getting dishes out and putting the finishing touches to the food as Christian leaned against the counter watching her.

"You look stunning as always Rose. I particularly like the socks…" His eyes raked over her from head to toe and it gave her a thrill. She'd not chosen the outfit this effect at all.

"Are you teasing me Mr Grey?" She asked with a coy smile as she waved a bread knife in his direction.

"I wouldn't dream of it Miss Steele, especially not when you have a large knife in your hand!" He moved from the counter and sidled up behind her.

Taking the knife so his hand was guiding hers, he sliced the Italian bread into sizeable chunks. His body was pressed against hers gently, not so hard that he pushed her into the counter, but a hint of a touch. Rose's breathing increased as he held her other hand on the bread to keep it still as he sliced. Such a domestic action was turning into something so very sexy.

When all the loaf was sliced, she felt him lower his head to her hair, his audible inhale intentional. Now that they'd let go of the bread and the knife, their fingers were interlaced - his on top of hers, a gentle show of dominance.

"You smell delicious Rose...so _edible_."

Her lips parted and her eyes closed as his mouth moved towards her ear, once again his breath teasing the sensitive flesh. She felt the tip of his nose brush the top and then the lobe before she felt his tongue trace the same path. Warm breath tickled as it reacted to the dampness of his tongue. If this were what he could do to her with just this action, she would be a quivering mess if he went further. Notwithstanding earlier, she'd not let a man so close for a long long time.

Reigning in her libido that was just getting fired up, she realised that they needed to eat before it got cold.

"Not that I'm not enjoying this very much, _because I am _- but the dinner's getting cold…"

She pulled her hands from his and turned to face him, smiling shyly. He tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear and let his finger trace down the exposed skin of her neck. The way he looked at her was heart-stoppingly, breathtakingly sexy. Flushed skin and dilated pupils, he looked like he'd be happy eating _her _rather than their food.

"Christian?" He seemed in a daze but eventually smiled, gently putting his arm around her shoulder.

"What are we having?" He looked at the dishes curiously whilst licking his lips. All the aromas in the kitchen were making her hungrier and to her shame, her belly gave a loud rumble.

She pinched her lip in embarrassment before they both laughed. "Sorry, I'm famished. I hope you like Camembert and sardines - but not together of course!"

"I haven't had sardines since I went fishing with my dad..._ages ago_. They smell delicious and I love cheese of any kind, so I'm going to be a well fed man by the looks of it."

Feeling confident and happy that they could flirt and have a somewhat grown-up conversation thrilled her. He too looked very happy to there and she imagined that maybe he didn't get many chances to just kick back and relax like this, being a big shot megalomaniac and all. She hoped they'd get to do this again, even though the evening had just started.

"Great! It's a new recipe, so you're my guinea pig tonight...I hope you like it. Can you do the honours with the wine please?"

"Sure. I think the white will go best with what's here. _What's for dessert?_" That quirky brow of his was just the sexiest, most naughty brow and it made her want to slap his cheeky ass.

_Oh wow, did she really just think about spanking his backside? What a delicious thought..._

"It must be damn good if you're blushing and biting that lip…" She'd totally spaced out for a moment and blushed deeper at being caught in the act.

"You'll just have to wait and see Mr Grey…" She flirtatiously replied. She hoped he liked chocolate.

As if on cue, after waiting in the wings, her inner goddess lie down on a chaise, chocolate body paint and brush at the ready. _Hussy_!

The individual chocolate tarts with fresh raspberries she'd planned on couldn't come soon enough and from the looks of his face, he felt the same.

* * *

_* Remember that Tomas - Anastasia's captor is called Luka in her blog due to security reasons. Ana prefers to be called Rose as Tomas always used her full name and it gives her the creeps. That may not always be the case though…_

_Disclaimer - as always, I own no rights to the FSOG trilogy story or characters._


	9. Chapter 9

Fade to Grey - Ch9

* * *

A/N – I so grateful for all your comments, even if I haven't had the chance to get back to you yet.

I hope you enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think. You're certainly loving the Pinterest posts for it already.

AAx

* * *

Christian felt on such a high that he was sure that nothing could burst his bubble, except perhaps a natural disaster, family bereavement or even worse - a phone call from his former mistress.

Elena Lincoln, now in her mid forties and a close friend of the family was the reason he was where he was today - with the exception of his parents of course. He was America's youngest billionaire at 28; he had a reputation that preceded him and control of several major corporations across the globe. His portfolio was extensive and impressive for his age but his life could have been a completely different portfolio - one of criminal records if not for his change of direction. He owed her a lot for taking him, literally by the scruff of his neck that fateful day in his teens, and making him realise that control was everything. Back then, even though the control had been Elena's in the form of her dominance over him, that control had taught him a valuable lesson.

Nothing came to you without pain or reward unless you were prepared to take it. Then it was all reward. So that's what he gave Elena - he gave his submission freely and in return the rewards were pleasure unlike that he'd ever known and the ability to absorb low's with the high's. Eventually, as he got older he realised that the more adept he became at mastering the amount of pain or pleasure he received, the more in control he became.

_The servant became the master. _

Elena realised this before he did, so he didn't equate the escalation of her methods of inflicting her will over him until she'd taken things too far. The day she offered him to her mentor, her former master - was a punishment too far and hard limit for Christian. _He didn't do men. Not even for his mistress and the risk of displeasing her._

To say that she was displeased was an understatement. Elena realised the tables had turned when she tried to punish him for his refusal and he took absolutely no pleasure in the thought of what pain/pleasure might be involved. He'd endured almost everything that tickled her over the years from the basics of bondage, punishment with paddles, canes and floggers, sensory deprivation, orgasm denial and many, many more situations that made the bile rise to his throat just thinking about them. He'd hated some of the more extreme sides to their lifestyle, but Elena thrived on the deviant stuff and he hadn't wanted to deny her - at the time. Anal penetration with a strap-on had been one, fisting another. Not knowing what they were like before, he'd not had any sphere of reference to make them a hard limit, like electrical play - he'd known that shit was off-limits without knowing. He'd enjoyed neither of those inflicted on him and had struggled to be aroused which earned him one hell of a beating.

Suffice to say that Elena's lack of control over him broke something in her and the more callous she became - hence, the termination of his relationship as her sub. He was worldly enough to know that she wouldn't let him go that easily even though she claimed not to love him. At one point, he'd thought he loved her and almost admitted it, but she'd lambasted his sentimentality claiming that 'love was for children and fools'. He'd taken that on board early on and shut that part of himself down, not even showing his family that the soft emotion existed inside him.

Elena made him an offer that was too good to refuse - to be his sub in order to train as a Dom. He was more than ready for it and she praised how he'd transformed and what a formidable master he would become. The exhilaration he felt when he was in control was better than any drug he'd taken before she came along. Not only did it turn him the fuck on, the power to bring another to their knees for your pleasure alone was the ultimate thrill. The satisfaction after a session mellowed him out like nothing else. He felt in control of his destiny, in control of his own body and in control of his emotions - as if he could achieve _anything_.

From there, Elena leant him money to start up his empire and the rest was history. They no longer had a physical relationship, but a business one. Their relationship had morphed from teacher/pupil to friends/business partners. In turn, he helped her open her salon chain and she, still a practicing Domme, found him willing submissives to keep his edge.

That was until a few days ago. He'd dismissed his most recent sub due to a disagreement and Elena had been pestering him to take up another girl she'd found for him. Since meeting Rose on Friday, he'd thought of nothing but her - not even work and he resented Elena tainting his high with her pushy attitude.

With a resigned sigh, he answered her call. "Elena, good evening."

"Christian darling, how are you? Lacking the sting of your palm to..._lighten the load_ - so to speak?"

Urgh, sometimes he wanted to take his palm to her again just to shut her up. Nobody dared speak to him like that, except maybe Elliot...possibly even Rose. Thinking her name made him smile and then grimace as he remembered that Elena was unwelcomely on the line.

"Elena, was my text not enough to tell you that I'm not looking to engage a new sub?"

She scoffed at his response. "I'm sure you meant to add 'at the moment' on the end of that sentence Christian. I know how long you can last without one and that's right about now. Come on, give Antonia a chance - she's the most uninhibited sub I've found so far - she'll do very well for you."

Christian rubbed his temples between thumb and forefinger impatiently. He didn't want another sub..._he had Rose_ - except she wasn't a sub. No, she was more than that - _better_ than that.

"This is not up for negotiation Elena. I've..._met_ someone and am not looking to take on a sub - I don't need one." He felt minutely nervous telling Elena about Rose -he didn't want what was starting with her tainted by the likes of Elena and his sordid past, even though they would inevitably meet one day. He wanted to put that off for as long as possible.

Elena's incredulous cackle pissed him off even more than the words that followed.

"Christian..._darling_, you cannot seriously be considering _dating _this 'someone'? She'll never be able to give you what you _need_." He wanted to tell her to 'fuck off' like the petulant teen he used to be, but his ingrained manners prevented that.

Trying hard to control his breathing and the venom in his tone, he broke it down to a simplicity that she could understand.

"What I do with my life and my _relationship is_ not your concern Elena - not any more. I've met somebody special who makes me want to change that part of me. I don't want Antonia or any sub. I have...a feeling about this girl and I've only known her a day. I always trust my instincts Elena and I'm positive that she is just what I need."

There was silence on the other end of the phone, but he could hear her breathing so knew that the call had not disconnected. Eventually, she spoke and the tone in her voice was nothing he'd heard before. She sounded _upset_.

"Are you..._in love_ with her? One day Christian! _One day_ you've known this girl and you're throwing away everything we built up for some little gold digging chit? I don't believe it!"

Her words resonated in his brain - 'throwing away everything we built up'. What the hell did she mean by that? He built up everything he owned, not her. She helped his attitude adjustment, but that was as far as their relationship went- she made it sound as if she was being dumped! As for falling 'in love' - it wasn't sure it was possible. Instead, he focussed on the one thing that made his blood boil - calling Rose a 'gold-digging chit'.

"Stop right there Elena. You crossed the fucking line calling Rose names - she is as far from those bitchy labels as you can get! I won't even flatter you by telling you why, just know that she is. As for what we've built? My business is _my business_. I don't know why you think you know what's best for me and I don't care. As far as our friendship goes, consider it on the back-burner until you regain some sense for who you're talking to."

Her gasp and disbelief at the near termination of their friendship didn't stop her as she continued to rant. "But Christian! You don't _do _this! This isn't you...she isn't what you need!"

He'd had enough. "Enough! I'm not prepared to talk to you any more on this subject. When you can be more reasonable, maybe… Goodnight Elena."

Hanging up the phone, barely in control of his driving, he wanted to throw it out the window in frustration but just about managed to rein his temper in. The clock in the car showed he'd wasted ten minutes on that crusty bitch. Ten minutes of soul-sucking, karma crushing negativity that was spoiling the start of his evening with Rose. He thumped his fist against the steering wheel, setting off the horn.

Taylor was following behind in the Audi SUV, whilst he drove his matt black Aston Martin Vanquish, so the horn blaring was the reason his CPO was calling his phone now. Hitting the hands free, he assured Taylor that he was fine - that a particularly frustrating call was the cause. He took the opportunity to remind Christian that he hadn't 'got Miss Steele to sign an NDA yet. The thought of persuading Rose to sign a document forbidding her from revealing anything personal about him seemed unsavoury.

He knew without a doubt that she wouldn't do that. She was a relative stranger, but he knew instantly if he could trust people and Rose was one of those people. He was certain that she had her own secrets and he'd find those out soon enough - not that he would consider using them against her of course. However, should she consider airing his dirty laundry it would only put hers out too. Thinking of the best course of action would be to come clean and admit that it was a standard procedure; he was pleased that Taylor had the foresight that he'd forgotten. Carrick would be disappointed in anything less.

With only a few minutes before he reached Rose's place, he diverted his mind to their earlier conversation. Replaying it in his mind was like listening to somebody else. Someone who flirted joked and laughed. There wasn't any of that with his last fifteen 'relationships' - it was like a business meeting with an agenda and a written agreement. Such repetition in his personal life had left him feeling emptier than ever and he hadn't known he was missing something until Rose came along. Subs came along one by one in a blurry cycle of 'sign here' 'kneel here' 'yes sir/no sirs'.

Rose was somewhat of an enigma. He knew she had a past and Welch was still working on that. The fact that it was taking him so long meant that it had to be something pretty well hidden - like his past. The thought that she'd endured anything like he had made him angry and the not knowing drove his imagination wild. She was so captivating...so vulnerable and more alluring than any woman he'd met before. Thinking about how amazingly and unwittingly sexy she was sent a thrill through his body that made him grin like a fool.

Her pale skin and glorious long rich hair were the epitome of what he required in his subs, even if she were curvier than all of the others. Her shyness would inordinately be alluring to him as a precursor to submission, but not with Rose. This shyness and vulnerability was what stopped him in his tracks, that along with her angelic face and the body of a goddess. How could he preside over such beauty and powerlessness with his dark and dominant nature? Marring and making such a sublime creature subservient would be heinous.

_When did you become such a poet Grey? _The voice of reason begged.

_When I found my muse you sarcastic fucker! _He said aloud, thankful that he wasn't travelling with Taylor this time. He already must think his boss fucked up and didn't need to add insanity to the mix.

* * *

Rose's apartment came into view and he pulled up in the same place that he and Taylor had previously. Taylor would wait outside again - a fact that made him feel a little guilty. He really should give him a weekend off sometime soon, his head of security was a marvel and he couldn't do without him.

Jumping out of the Aston, he gave Taylor a heads up and made his way into the lobby for the second time that day, sans Elliot this time. The anticipation he felt at seeing Rose again, was more thrilling than the lead up to a session; recognising that he could feel like this without all the fuckery he'd been used to was a revelation.

It was as if he'd stepped back in time to when he was a teenager - a different 'normal' teenager that had the opportunity to come on to girls, flirt and joke and generally have a good time. Their banter was as satisfying as the thrill of hearing the cries of a sub who shouldn't speak, her laughter and smiles as rewarding as the sting of his hand on bare flesh.

Christian felt like two people in the same body - the deviant part of him inside taking notes and stirring up his libido; the newly discovered 'poet' as his conscience told him, on autopilot in conversation he never knew himself capable of. Both parts stood up and took notice when questioned about who spanked him. He'd rather not mention Elena, but shit, if the thoughts of Rose and he in a power exchange didn't make him rock hard.

_Remember that the submissive has more control than the dominant_ _Christian_. Flynn's words echoed in his mind. Could Rose 'topping' be the answer to his not so quiet voice of reason? He could see from her reaction to his offer to let her try that they might be on to something.

He'd barely made it through the apartment without feeling the need to reach out and touch her. Her warm and open welcome was pleasing - even her dog's attention was gratifying. Never having owned a pet, he wasn't sure how to react - he usually shied away from pets when in their company. Such interactions were meaningless to him as it was just another creature's need for emotional fulfilment of some kind.

He took in everything around him as a child would upon first seeing the world. Her apartment was overly feminine but homely and inviting. He noticed the fire she'd been sitting in front of earlier and the quirky staircase again, the watercolours on the walls and the comfort that seemed all around him.

He felt the satisfaction of her pleasure with his gifts radiate from him. Even though he might not have the control he usually craved; the fulfilment he felt inside knowing that he'd impressed her and pleased her was immense. Teaching her about wine would be easy; he was an aficionado and he'd relish the opportunity to have her admire him for something other than what most women (who flirted with him) were impressed by - _money and power_.

Dinner smelled delicious, but what she wore made him hungrier than any food he could imagine. There was no hiding the gracious curves hidden and hinted at under soft wool of her thigh high dress. Pale creamy skin, just barely inches of it between the most innocent fucking woollen over-knee socks and the hem of the dress drove him wild. He'd bought and seen countless pieces of lingerie, all of it the sexiest you could conceive but this look, teamed with a messy up-do trumped all of that. Fuck Agent Provocateur...give him the 'less is more' look any day and his imagination would run for miles and miles.

He couldn't resist sliding up behind her as she sliced bread, unaware of the sexual tension she'd created. Of all the mundane activities, why did Rose, fully clothed and being domestic turn him on so much?

Her back to his front, they were barely touching as the skim of his crotch on her lower sent a frisson of lust through both of them. He reached over, taking her hands to help her but was distracted by the smell of mint her hair and the spicy hint of ginger on her skin that was too hard to resist. He knew it sounded like all those girly chick flicks claimed, but he was positive that sparks could be flying between them as he leant over her body, softly cocooning her.

"You smell delicious Rose...so _edible_."

It was hard to control the inner beast that fantasized about wanting to take her hands in one as he bent her over, using the other to glide up her thigh and slide his fingers into her pussy. She had to be able to feel the erection banging a drum on his zipper, but she never said a word. Her reaction was just as he wanted - she responded with a sigh as she tilted her head, revealing that spot on the neck that was a conduit to sensation. He wanted nothing more than to lick, suck and bite her skin like a hungry vampire.

"Not that I'm not enjoying this very much, _because I am _- but the dinner's getting cold…"

Any other woman and he'd have brushed the thought of dinner off over devouring them on the kitchen counter, but he could see that she'd gone to a lot of effort - in his eyes at least. He didn't want to disappoint her, or scare her off by being such an insatiable animal either, so a mental cold shower would have to do.

What she had planned was exactly what he loved to eat. Not the portions and fussiness that you got at restaurants or the homemade fare that Gail cooked him and more often than not, re-heated for him. Gail's cooking was great, but it lacked a flair that he supposed could only be down to his own lack of enthusiasm for eating alone. Making sure he ate was a priority, but what he ate was never really a concern. His predisposition for hating wasted food meant that he'd eat whatever was put in front of him; his past had shown him that you didn't always have a choice.

Another choice that he instantly favoured was dining in front of the fire. Their bodies curled up, nibbling on trays of warm Camembert and bread, succulent spicy sardines and minty couscous, accompanied his own vineyard's crisp Grey California Chardonnay. There was only one thing that could top the evening and that was the promise of dessert.

"This wine is delicious Christian I think you might have me converted." She toasted him with her glass aloft.

"Thanks, I'm very pleased to hear it. Talking of conversions...why did you change your mind about me?"

She understood what he meant without further explanation and the vulnerability that always seemed to linger just below the surface was back in force. She hesitated before answering him.

"You did. It's hard to believe, considering how we met, but I think we misjudged each other. I judged you before giving you a chance - even though you did come on pretty strong to start, but I realised that underneath the mask you put on, you're deeper than I thought. There's potential...for _something_."

He processed her reply for a moment, considering the truth of her words. She was right that there was more to him than the persona that most people got to see. The fact that a woman he barely knew could see right through him in such a short time was a little unsettling; he wasn't sure that he was ready to bare his soul to anyone but Flynn. Doing so would surely make her run for the hills.

"I'm not sure whether you're saying that I'm superficial, or just a good actor. Neither are complements."

"It wasn't my intention to offend...it was meant as a compliment - _truly_. I'm just saying that I realised there's a whole other side to you that's not as threatening as the Dom, he's the one I like. The other guy, quite frankly scares the shit out of me!"

"I suppose I can understand that. Likewise - I'm sure there's more to you than meets the eye. Will you tell me why?" He didn't want to kill the mood but you know what they say curiosity did to the cat?

She took a long drink from her glass before replying. "It seems a shame to spoil the mood, but I don't think I'm ready to tell you that story yet. Although, I'm surprised you don't know already...surely you've got your minions checking me out as we speak?"

It wasn't a lie, Welch was digging around in her past at his request and Taylor had the NDA ready. He felt a shred of guilt at the thought.

"I've no idea what you could possibly say that could be that bad, but if you're not comfortable then I won't push. It's true though, it's par for the course that I look into any _associations_ for my own security. I hate to bring this up, but my lawyer would have a fit if I didn't get you to sign an NDA."

She looked grateful at being let off and but easily acquiesced to the NDA, much to his surprise.

"I understand Christian, besides I wouldn't want Carrick to suffer for my sake." She knew his dad. _How_?

"He's my lawyer and has been for a few years now. Whilst we're sharing, I know your mother too - from the hospital and Coping Together."

Not much surprised him, but the fact that his dad was her attorney did. Carrick Grey was very select in his selection of clients. Usually the odd few high payment clients balanced out those they he worked for nothing - victims and suchlike from the charity he and his mother supported. Even though Rose appeared to be reasonably comfortable financially, the select few tended to be old money families, so that left her in the other category. This wasn't a revelation exactly, but the curiosity to know more was eating him up.

Frowning, he asked. "You know Elliot of course, are you going to tell me you know my sister Mia too?"

She put her wine down and shuffled towards him, gingerly taking his hand. Looking down at his hand for a moment, she squeezed it lightly - a gesture of comfort on her part it seemed.

"Are you upset that you didn't get to introduce me to your parents? That's very sweet of you Mr Grey…"

She was as adept as he was at diverting the conversation away from topics that were not up for discussion, a trait he admired in many a skilled negotiator. He recognising though, that this meant his parents probably knew more about her than he did. He wanted to remedy that right away.

"You're teasing me again Miss Steele...I'm not used to being out of the loop or being made fun of." He ran the pad of his thumb over his lips in contemplation. Such bravado in a sub would be punishable.

It seemed that the wine that had caused a flush in her cheeks was responsible for this bravado and he made up his mind that he'd bring wine every time he saw her if this was her reaction to it. He was leaning back against the couch, one arm along the cushions, legs crossed. His now empty wine glass on the low coffee table off to one side with the various platters from before.

The frame of his body was open and he stayed still as Rose scooted closer, more of the bare flesh of her legs showing as she sat on her calves. He stayed completely still as she turned one of his hands in hers, linking their fingers. His heart was hammering away in anticipation due to the look in her eyes. He wanted to look at the whole of her, but just couldn't force himself to look away from the promise in her gaze.

Her inviting smiles made him want to grab her by the shoulders and kiss her hard. From the receding distance between them, he could see how soft her lips looked - especially now that she was biting it. Hell! _Did she know what that did to him?_

She looked from his eyes to his mouth suggestively. "How about an apology - I did promise dessert, didn't I?"

Instead of leaning in to kiss him like he thought she would, she used the momentum to stand up, releasing his hand as she did so.

"Hold that thought Mr Grey…" He watched as she moved to the kitchen, bending slightly to adjust her socks - the outline of her ass accentuated by the weight of the fabric.

She moved around the kitchen, oblivious to the fact that he was watching every movement of her body and expression on her face. Rose was such a natural beauty; there was nothing fake or orchestrated about her allure. She had more curves than his usual type and her hair was longer and darker than the 'others', her face pleasantly made up with just liner, lashes and lipstick - she was more retro pin-up than model. The sight of her made him hard.

Before she made her way back, she changed the music and the sound of Bruno Mars replaced the dulcet tones of Diana Krall. Her taste in music was certainly as eclectic as her taste in decor. She had a tray in her hands holding the bottle of red, two glasses and a couple of what looked like chocolate cakes. _Dessert indeed_.

"Please tell me you like chocolate? I think that would be a deal breaker for me…" She raised her brows in question as she crouched with the tray, setting on the table nearby as she pottered with plates and forks.

The serious look she gave him was one he imagined most people would reserve for a more serious question like 'do you have a criminal record?' or 'do you want kids one day?' This would be easy.

"Absolutely - I'm a sucker for Grace's chocolate cake...have been ever since I was a kid." Her love of the brown stuff was noted in his memory bank of gifts to indulge her.

"Good." She handed him the bottle of wine to open - which he did and then she set it down on the hearth giving him a fantasy shot of her on her hands and knees that forced the breath out of his lungs.

"See something you like Mr Grey?" He nearly choked on his reply.

"Hey - that should be my line!" He was really enjoying this change up of her emotions. Perhaps they could just hang here every time they met if it made her this comfortable.

The sight of her shuffling towards him on her knees was such a turn on. She took a plate with what he assumed was a chocolate tart garnished with fresh raspberries and handed him a fork.

"You and your cooking are one hell of a sensory overload Miss Steele. I could get used to this…"

He took a bit of the tart and groaned, it was rich and light and if he'd been at home, would most probably have picked it up and eaten it in three mouthfuls.

"You like?" He looked up from admiring his dessert to see her sucking on a huge raspberry, the juice staining her lips.

Nodding was all he could manage as he watched the raspberry disappear and another take it's place and repeat the act. He picked up one of his own from his plate and leant forward to feed it to her, his eyes focused on pink stained lips and hint of tongue as she opened her mouth. He kept going, feeding her all of his fruit, all the time watching the movement of her throat as she swallowed. Before drawing his gaze back to her face he reached over for her wine and brought it up to her lips.

"Open." Eyes locked and shining with mirth at the déjà vu, she parted her lips and took a swallow as he tilted the glass.

"Hold it on your tongue for a second - make sure the wine coats every taste bud before you swallow."

"Mmm, mellow and chocolaty. I'll give you this Mr Grey, you've got skills." He was pleased at her reaction. It was a cheesy seduction scene done repeatedly in the movies, but it worked. She didn't take long to finish her glass, so he refilled it.

"You have no idea…this is just the introduction." Shit, how he wanted to unleash his whole repertoire of skills on her.

"Hmm, I bet." She was eyeing him curiously, the whole while sipping and swirling the wine as he'd told her.

Once again she finished her glass far too quickly in his opinion, but he wasn't about to scold her. Especially as the conversation was getting interesting.

"Does your manual of seduction cover kissing?" Glad to play along, he put the wine back down and brought them closer together, so they were cross-legged in front of each other.

"Oh yes." He replied confidently. He didn't claim to be an expert on kissing, hell he couldn't claim to be anything but a novice, as he'd never kissed any woman since Elena. Earlier it had just happened naturally in the heat of the moment; now it was important that he got this right.

Going with his instincts, he brought his hand up to her face, traced the line of her cheekbone with his fingers, and marvelled at how soft her skin was. Her lips parted and she blinked slowly, clearly enjoying such a simple touch. Loose strands of her hair fell around her face and he moved them back as he stroked his hand over her temple and grazed the tip of her ear as he reached for her hair clip. Pulling out the sticks, he let her hair tumble down her back in easy waves, running his fingers through it to spread it out.

She'd reached over to lay her hand on his knee as he leaned in slowly and placed his other hand on the side of her neck. He could feel her pulse hammering away under his palm and her breath on his face as he kissed her jaw from her ear, then to the corner of her mouth and back again on the other side in feather like touches that were driving her as wild as he was.

Little sighs and holds of breath were the indicators he was using to judge whether he was doing ok, but she must have been getting frustrated as she turned and kissed him softly on the lips. He let her take control of the pace as he returned the tender touch of her lips over and over until she wet her lip with her tongue and he let his stroke hers languidly.

His hand slid from her neck to the back of her head where he fisted her hair gently; he loved how soft and clean it felt as he flexed his fingers. Taking her hand in his other to avoid her inadvertently touching his chest, they moved closer together as he entwined their fingers and let their arms form a barrier that he was comfortable with. He'd not thought til now that he'd let her touch his chest before when she was upset - the shock at her breakdown had overridden any concern at the time.

This was 'making out' - something he'd never done before and he loved it. The desire was building nice and slowly in both of them as the kiss got more passionate. Their breathing was getting heavier, her fingers dug into his skin desperately and their kisses were getting wetter the more they tried to consume each other.

Breaking away fractionally, Christian panted. "_Rose_...holy hell, you're driving me _crazy_."

He continued kissing her, as she hadn't answered him, equally dazed by lust it seemed. Time didn't seem to exist as they explored each other's mouths; every now and again Christian moved to her neck to that sweet spot and then nibbled on her earlobe. Each time she sighed and whispered his name; hearing her whisper his name so lustfully was such a turn on that he didn't know how long he'd be able to last without wanting to strip her naked and fuck her. He needed a medal already for holding back from ravishing her.

"I need to touch you...let me touch you Rose, _please_?" He ran his hands down the side of her body, letting them rest on the luscious curve of her hips.

"Yes..._Oh God_ yes…"

Abruptly she raised her hand from his knee and fisted his sweater as she climbed into his lap and wrapped her legs around him. Even more of a shock was when she twisted their entwined hands and held them behind his back. Talk about a turnabout!

With one hand behind his back let the other slide down her thigh and finger the soft skin on the inside before creeping up slowly. He was really pushing things now but she wasn't protesting at all, if anything she was bold as if something had been unleashed inside her. A complete opposite to earlier. Her hand moved to his hair and tugged it back as she kissed along his jaw, rubbing her face on his stubble and nibbling on that same spot he'd teased her with earlier. She sucked his earlobe and ran her tongue inside his ear.

_Who knew it had a direct link to his cock that was now throbbing painfully and begging for attention?_

"Rose...mmm, yes."

"Christian, you've awakened something in me..._something I didn't know existed - _I can't stop it. I want to know more...feel more."

Holy fuck if he didn't nearly come in his pants right there and then. Was she asking what he thought she was? How drunk was she? She'd still been kissing him though her declaration, so much so that he was sure he'd have a hickey.

"Rose...are you sure - earlier you were so hesitant, I don't want you to regret this."

His inner devil face-palmed at his reticence but there was no way that this would be a one-time thing, with her regretting it afterwards and then the inconceivable thought of not seeing each other again. No Fucking Way. He was doing this properly, even if his balls turned blue.

She pulled away from his neck and pinned him with her stare - her beautiful eyes huge and bright with desire. The hold on his hand got tighter as she pushed it further up his back, making him grunt a little with discomfort. This was..._unexpected_ - but he liked it.

"I don't care that I've had some wine, that I barely know you, that I'm a contradiction...give me more, please?" She certainly was a fast learner as she ground her hips down onto his crotch to make her point. How could he resist?

"Fuck Rose! As much as it pains me to say this... "

"We should stop - I know, but kissing you is like a revelation and I want more. It's like someone lit the touch paper inside me and all that sexual repression is going to explode!"

He had to use his strength to pull his arm back out of her grip, earning himself a pout from Rose that he had to stifle a smile at. This was certainly turning out to be an evening full of revelations, including one that hard liquor drinking Rose couldn't hold her wine. Instead of gaining the upper hand, she wriggled her hand free and wound her arms around his neck as she rubbed against him like a cat. She was making it very difficult to resist.

"That's exactly why we need to slow things down...I promised you that I'd behave and I'm a man of my word. You're not making this very easy when you're so..."

There was no reply as he ran his hands up and down her back, so he pulled back slightly and turned to see that her eyes were shut and mouth slightly ajar as warm breath tickled his neck. She'd fallen asleep on his shoulder, straddled close to him - his stroking her back must have been more soothing than he intended. He'd only meant it to soften his rejection, but it looks as if the wine had more of an effect than just making her brazen.

At least this was easier than hurting her feelings, even if she was drunk. She might have softened towards him and initiated the kiss, but he knew deep down that anything more would be too soon for her. He hoped that she wouldn't be too embarrassed when she woke up and that perhaps he'd get a repeat performance without the alcohol to bolster her.

Cupping her backside in his hands, he used the strength in his legs and abs to stand them up, intending to lay her back down on the couch. Even in her sleep, she clung to him like a limpet, which made it impossible to separate himself from her. He had to admit that he was enjoying the closeness of her body to his and wished the circumstances were different.

He settled himself down on the couch, unravelling her legs from around his waist before twisting and settling her down. There was a brief whine of protest from Rose but otherwise she was out of the count. Christian sat on the edge of the couch and looked at the woman who had turned him inside out in the space of 24 hours. He pulled the soft pink throw slung over the arm and draped it over her sleeping form.

Torn between leaving her to sleep off the alcohol or stay, he resolved to stay and make sure she was O.K. Taking off was unchivalrous; he felt responsible as he'd not taken into account that she'd drunk a whole bottle of wine and wasn't used to it. He wanted to be there when she woke and remembered making out with him - to reassure her that he hadn't taken advantage. He wanted to fight the fire before it got hold and she panicked about what may or may not have happened.

Christian settled himself into the corner of the couch and lifted Rose's head to rest on his lap, stroking her hair away from her face and twiddling the soft curls in his fingertips. She was so serene that it was hard to imagine that anything could spoil such peace.

The repetitive motion he used to stroke her hair was so soothing, he found his lids drooping - the last thing he saw before his eyes wouldn't stay open any longer, was the contented smile on Rose's face.

* * *

Note: How Rose reacted to the wine is my own, but just 2 glasses for me. A whole bottle I'd probably be sick and fall asleep before anything interesting happened. I flirt, act silly and naughty and then promptly fall asleep, hence I don't drink wine any more, much to my husband's dismay. Spirits are no problem, the grape = trouble.

Disclaimer – I don't own the rights to the FSOG trilogy – I'm just playing with the characters.

AAx


	10. Chapter 10

Fade to Grey - Chapter 10

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A/N: Sorry for the delay getting this out, I've had a load of personal stuff going on and a little crisis of confidence with how this fic is being received. Thank you so much for all the great comments, encouragement and follows (inc Pinterest).

I have a couple of fic recs for you.

1. Fifty shades of cluster-FK by Evyn Rae Ward: A fantastic twist on the FSOG story from the fateful interview - funny, sweet and very well written

2. Wicked Schemes by willowaus - a Vampire Diaries AU accelerating the possible Caroline/Klaus storyline happening in the current series. A brilliantly engaging story and superbly written.

If anyone has any recs for TVD or FSOG stories please let me kniw. I'm so over True Blood even though Alex Skarsgard is still in my top 3 fantasy husbands (with Jamie Dornan and Tom Hiddleston).

Apologies if there are any errors, this has been edited on my iPad - not an easy task!

* * *

Rose woke to feel of something wet and rough licking her thigh. Peeking one eye open, she looked down to see that her trusty hound was ready for his breakfast. It was light already, the fire burned down to ash and the birds enjoying their morning choir practice.

She'd slept remarkably well and felt quite content until she realised that her comfy pillow was that of Christian Grey's thigh. Squeezing her eyes shut, instant and embarrassing recall stung her in the face causing a blush of shame to rival a well smacked derrière.

Tentatively she turned her head towards the sleeping Adonis on her couch, surprised that he could sleep so deeply in an upright position. She knew he was deep asleep due to the soft snore and tiny trail of drool from his open mouth. Grinning at the sight of such an unguarded and less than spiffy Christian, she wished she could reach her phone to take a picture. With the practiced skill of one used to being seen and not heard, she deftly eliciting her head and body and swung herself up on the couch.

A touch dishevelled, Christian was still devastatingly gorgeous, even when he was catching flies. She could quite easily have crawled onto his lap... Her hands darted to her mouth to stifle the gasp as she remembered straddling Christian to kiss him, grinding herself on him like she was riding a bucking bronco. Where's that hole in the ground when you need one? She covered her face in mortification when recall unbecoming of the hangover she felt coming on, replayed her words of the brazen slut she'd been. Poor Christian had tried to be a gentleman, even with the huge boner she'd delighted in teasing.

She hadn't made it easy for him, but he'd not broken her trust and taken advantage. He earned some serious points for that after she'd thrown herself at him. Not having any previous indicators of how much wine she could (or couldn't as it turned out) handle, she'd remembered guzzling the vino like juice. Consequently the chemical reaction had made her fall asleep in the arms of a gorgeous man. How many other women would beat her to death to have him and stay awake for days in order to do so? She was surprised he was still there.

Shaking her head in shame, she noiselessly made her way from the couch to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. She turned the oven on to preheat and fed Sawyer his chow before opening the back door to let the fresh morning air in and him out when he was ready. Hungry enough to eat breakfast, but courteous enough to wait for Christian to wake, she grabbed the ingredients for her favourite Sunday breakfast. She could set that going and nip to take a shower whilst it was cooking. The homemade granola with yogurt and berries was the perfect healthy mix to balance out the bacon, egg and toast puddings or 'cholesterol pudding's as Jose called them.

She halved two smallish ciabatta rolls and took out some of the inside to make a well. Two strips of bacon in each and a cracked egg with a twist of ground pepper later and they were ready to go in the oven. The granola took all of a minute to prepare, so she could do that when she was out of the shower.

When she came out of the kitchen, she was pleased to see that 'sleeping gorgeous' was, in fact still sleeping as she dashed past and up the stairs to her en-suite. Shedding her clothes and pinning her hair up she turned the shower on, not waiting for it to heat up as that first cold splash chased the cobwebs away. Once warm she washed her body quickly, ignoring the way her skin seemed overly sensitive to her own touch. She realised that she felt excited and nervous.

Excited that Christian was turning out to be more than she expected or even hoped for; nervous that she was naked in her shower with a man in the house and part of her hoped he would find her. Never having believed in luck or fate, or wishful thinking turned out to be a mistake for when she turned her head, the very man she'd been thinking about was leaning against the doorframe.

There were no steamy glass panels to hide her naked body in a wetroom, no handy towel hanging nearby to cover herself. Strangely, the sense of modesty she felt she should have with a man she barely knew wasn't there. Modesty had not been an option whilst with Tomas. Most of her time there she'd been naked, save for when he had visitors. Even then, the clothes weren't normal - he liked to dress her up in gothic style gowns and then shred them off her violently. It wasn't in her nature to screech and try to hide herself like was expected, so she didn't and continued to lock eyes with Christian who was staring at her like a man who'd found water in the desert.

Realising that her back, her scarred and tattooed back was probably what he was staring at, she turned and casually grabbed a towel from the warmer in the corner. Wrapping it around her body, she turned back to him.

"Well, this is awkward…" She murmured, not knowing quite what to say to him.

"You have a tattoo…" Not quite what she was expecting, but at least he'd broken the silence.

"Yes. I have several."

The large tattoo on her back had been the first of many. She'd discovered that tattoos or hennas were the remedy to how ugly she felt after years of seeing her body scarred from lashes or burns. No amount of therapy could have told her differently, but Jose's designs did the trick. The memories of what was underneath could never be hidden but at least the evidence could. She wasn't sure what his opinion of them was, but frankly didn't care. If he wanted her, he had better get used to them.

Her ire rose as if she were expecting him to say something negative, after all she could imagine that he like his subs to be blemish free until he got his hands on them. But she wasn't his sub had no intention of being so.

"How do you feel?" His question puzzled her for a moment.

How did she feel about him seeing her naked, about having tattoos? No, you idiot - he means your hangover. Those inner voices could be real bitches sometimes, but they were right. His question was in fact an innocent one.

"Not too bad, nothing that some breakfast can't cure."

It was surreal that they were carrying on this conversation in her bathroom like they were some normal couple, her partial nakedness not an issue. She wanted to dry herself and get out of there, but Christian was standing in the door. On cue, he moved, but it wasn't out of the way, it was towards her. He fixed her with those sparkling grey eyes and traced the water droplets on her shoulder as he moved behind her. She held her breath in anticipation, but released it and shuddered when he bent down to lick those drops off with his hot tongue.

"I have the most fantastic view of your cleavage like this…" She couldn't help but laugh at the crassness of his comment. It lightened the tension significantly.

"You are such a man…" It was his turn to laugh now.

"And you are one hell of a woman Rose...may I dry you off?" A thrill raced through her body at the suggestion.

"Is this us taking it slow, or are you stepping things up a little?" She asked with trepidation.

"This is me showing you what lack of control I have when I see you naked for the first time. Last night...the balance was off but now you have the control."

Ooh lala! Her inner goddess jumped up in excitement, towel she was wearing flung off hastily.

_Control_. That was the key word here and the exact one to give her the resolve to jump in. She thought about breakfast for a moment as she heard the timer go off. Luckily she'd set her 'all singing all dancing' oven to turn itself off and switch to the warmer setting.

With a bravery that came out of nowhere she brought her hand up and pulled on the knot that was tucked between her breasts, letting the towel fall to her feet. She felt a rush of air as Christian breathed heavily on her neck, then a kiss and another and another… His hands were on her hips gripping them possessively, not enough to hurt but enough to knead her flesh like a massage as he moved them to her backside. The gentle pressure as he ran his fingers over her ass over and over was very erotic. She almost hoped that he'd dip between her legs and touch her - he was so close. The thought made her head drop back against his shoulder with a moan.

"This is not making me dry Christian…" In fact it's making me wet. She thought naughtily.

"I know - your ass is distracting me. Such a luscious ass Rose…"

She felt his hands drop along with the rest of him as he crouched behind her. Before she could turn to look, he'd taken up the towel and lifted her foot. Having pretty good balance, thank you yoga, she managed to remain still as he dried her toes and the sole of her foot.

"I like this…" He traced the outline of the henna pattern on the sole which made her wriggle and nearly topple over - her feet were very ticklish.

Luckily Christian put his hand on her hip to steady her before she spoiled what was turning out to be the sexiest encounter she'd ever had - so far. He moved up from her feet, gently stroking her calf then her thigh before smoothing the cotton over her ass cheek again. Definitely an ass man this one, she thought. He moved over to the other side, paying equal attention to the other cheek. As much as she was aroused, she also found it amusing that her ass could have such an effect on a man like Christian.

He seemed mesmerised - thoroughly engrossed in taking care of her. Moving back down her leg in the same motion he dried her other foot and then rose to stand, bringing the towel to her fingers. He dried them with care and softly smoothed over her scars on her wrists without comment. She felt sure he wanted to know, but now was not the time. As much as this act of care was erotic, is was tender too and it made her eyes sting in realisation of what Christian was showing her. He was dominant by nature, his stance showed that, but the softness of his touch and the time he took demonstrated that he knew how to balance the devil inside. Once he'd dried both arms he smoothed the towel from her lower back to her neck in an upwards motion, making sure he dried everywhere. The towel was draped across her middle back now, an end in each of his hands as he dried the top of her chest moving around and cupping her breasts from the side, pushing them together and kneading them in a circular motion. He leaned his mouth towards her ear, it tickled as he spoke and she shuddered in desire.

"Rose, your body is divine, I could worship it like this all day." His flattery ignited a heat in her that she'd never experienced before.

"Then you'd miss out on the breakfast I made you…" She teased.

"Fuck food - I've a feast right here." He hesitated and pulled her chin to look at him over her shoulder.

"You're surprising me Miss Steele...are you O.K. with this?" His tone was playful but considerate.

She thought for a moment, not because she was unsure, but because she realised she had the power in this moment and she liked that very much. Yes, she was very O.K. with this.

"I'm O.K with it...but it could be better." He frowned, looking almost hurt.

"You missed a bit.." With a bravado she that came out of nowhere, Rose took his hand still holding the towel and guided it down her stomach, not stopping until his hand was between her legs.

Christian had moved closer to her and she could feel his erection pressing into her through his jeans. She let her hand go and so his remained there and the other found it's way across her chest, cupping her breast whole. There was a rumble in Christian's throat as he strained to control himself, he pushing his crotch harder into her back and moved rhythmically as she started moving the fisted towel on her pubic bone. The sensation as he moved down across her nub and over her lips was explosive.

She'd not experienced an orgasm since Kate showed her how to pleasure herself, but this was a whole other dimension. She grabbed Christians hand and held it there as she stopped the orgasm rising and pulled the towel from his fingers before guiding his hand back between her legs.

Bold - she was feeling very bold and so very turned on that she felt like she was going to explode at any moment. His fingers went where she guided them and he moaned loudly when they dipped inside her outer lips and into warm wet flesh. She was slick from his attentions and two of his fingers slipped into her body easily whilst the heel of his hand rubbed her nub with just the right amount of pressure. Oh holy mother...she was going to come and it was too soon. The sensory overload of his fingers, his fingers pinching her nipple and his mouth on neck was too much and she fell to her knees and let out a keening mewl. Her ass landed on Christians legs as he kneeled with her, his fingers stroking her still but more gently.

"Christian…" She reached back and threaded her arms around his neck and turned her head to kiss him deeply.

Fuck, this man could kiss… He'd made her come in under a minute and now she was revved up and wanting more. His fingers continued to move again and she felt her desire rise, but it wasn't enough. She felt an itch inside her that needed to be scratched...it was deep, deeping insider her than his fingers could reach and she wanted it satisfied.

"Fuck the breakfast, fuck the waiting..." She begged in between swipes of their tongues together.

"That's a lot of fuck's Miss Steele." His eyes flashed open and the hunger there made her insides clench.

"Please Christian...I want this...want you." Don't wait too long or I'll chicken out.

Suddenly his fingers were gone and he'd picked her up in his arms, their mouths still locked together kissing frantically. He marched them over to her bed and flung her down, a playful yet predatory smirk on his face. That face couldn't help but make her smile and ease the infinitesimal fear that rose at the thought of such a powerful man making love to her. She watched in awe as he unbuttoned his shirt, struggling with the cufflinks for a second before flinging it angrily to the floor. Stifling a laugh, she bit her lip as she trailed her fingers over her lower belly.

Christians eyes looked at her lip and then the direction her fingers were heading as he opened his fly. She let go of her lip and opened her mouth, only to bite it again when the button popped and he stepped out of the legs to reveal a huge and very aroused cock. Mr Grey liked to go commando it seemed. Rose stared at his cock and licked her lips. Instead of being intimidated, she was fascinated.

She wanted to reach out and touch it but found herself unable to move as she glanced up at his face. There was lust there but also hesitation - Christian was used to being in control, but this time he was giving it to her - letting her set the pace.

"See something you like baby?" He stroked up and down his cock, using her earlier words, she giggled and nodded mindlessly. All the blood had drained to her lady-bits and left her mind a fuzzy mess.

She whimpered at the sight and sat up on her elbows. Tomas had never let her touch him, it had been all been him on her, even when she'd been twisted enough to want it. She realised that she really didn't have a clue what to do even though she wasn't a virgin. The confusion on her face must have registered with Christian as he moved to her, kneeling down - not in submission, but in consideration that she must be nervous.

"Do you still...want to?" He asked gently, a hint of desperation in his tone as his fingers toyed with her knee. She nodded enthusiastically and pulled him to her by his hand, she needed to kiss him. Looking at all that glorious flesh was scrambling her brain.

"I don't know what I'm doing…" She mumbled between the tangle of their mouths.

Christian stopped for a moment, processing her words.

"With me?" She closed her eyes, momentarily embarressed to admit that she was winging it. Despite everything, she was clueless about romance, seduction… making love.

"No...It's just...I've never made love Christian."

He didn't give her the chance to dwell on it as he traced a finger down her face.

"Well that makes two of us...we'll just have to improvise." He said nonchalantly.

It seemed that it would take a whole lot more to phase him that inexperience. Without giving it another thought, she felt him raise her hands above her head and guide her hands to the headboard.

"Hold on tight baby."

She could barely contain the thrill of his playful words as she whimpered her words.

"Yes Sir".

* * *

Yes - it's a sexy cliffhanger -sorry! More soon, hope you enjoyed this and please review if you did.

AAx


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